Help, being made to pay partners debts.

MissTigger

Hi there I'm just after some advice.
Ive been with my boyfriend for two years now, moved into a rented house and had a baby.
We do not have a shared account, not married and no legal financial ties that I know of, although we are on the tenancy together. I am the sole earner, he does not work and has no savings.
I have never had a debt, however I have just found out that my boyfriend has several debts totalling over £5000 for the HMRC, local council, old utility bills etc, which he had before he met me.
I have started paying off some of his smaller debts but it is a struggle as I'm also paying all the bills etc, and I'm only currently on maternity pay with my employer, it's too much stress for me at the moment.
I asked him to contact the council regarding his large debt with them to ensure that it is correct and it is, they were pressuring him to pay it as soon as possible, he asked how when he isn't working and has NO income and they then told him to ask me to pay them.
Am I wrong in thinking that they have no right to suggest that? I was not around when he developed these debts and they are nothing to do with me. I don't mind helping out with what I can with his debts but the council cannot surely suggest that I take responsibility for these when they aren't in my name?

Also, he is looking for a job but the whole process just seems to take so long, I don't know when we will ever be comfortable with our money situation again any suggestions of making life easier are welcome

Thanks

Mojisola

YasmineA90 wrote: »

they then told him to ask me to pay them.

Am I wrong in thinking that they have no right to suggest that?

Nothing to stop them suggesting that he asks someone else to pay the bills on his behalf.

You can refuse.

*~Zephyr~*

You can't be forced to pay his debts.

sourcrates

They can suggest what they like, however you cannot be held liable for anybody else's debts period.

His debts are his alone, and, legally, absolutely nothing to do with you.

bargainbetty

If he currently has no income beyond any benefits, then it might be the time to look into a DMP for him, which will at least have the advantage of getting his creditors to calm down a bit. But your earnings, savings, whatever are nothing to do it. Maintain no financial connection with him whatsoever until he has taken care of these debts as that would impact upon you.


They can suggest he take up lap-dancing to earn money, but he doesn't have to do it and you have no legal obligation to comply with their request. Stand firm on that, for your own sanity.


Honestly, I'd actually be quite angry if my partner suggested that I start paying his old debts off when I had nothing to do with generating them and he had deliberated ignored them until now. Cheeky so-and-so.

HappyMJ

They've asked my partner to ask me to pay the council tax accrued before we got together. I've refused as is my right.

My partner can't pay it either as she has no income so she's fighting to get the CT written off. They are so far refusing believing that one day I will give in and pay it off. They've got a LONG wait as that will never happen.

Smodlet

I would say I can't believe their gall, except I can. Years and years ago, when my partner applied for a business loan, I was asked for details of my income. Since the business was nothing to do with me, being employed elsewhere, I refused to give any information and asked where the hell they got off assuming I would be in any way liable for his debts.

As the others have said, financially, keep your distance; I would say, avoid financial connections with anyone in that situation like the plague: It will only hurt your credit record if one whiff of someone else's debts sticks to you.

I realise it is difficult and your first instinct is to rush to the aid of the one you love but, in your position, I would not pay a penny of his debts because, once you become associated with them, you cannot easily distance yourself from them.

Mojisola

YasmineA90 wrote: »

I don't know when we will ever be comfortable with our money situation again any suggestions of making life easier are welcome

Have you posted a SOA here? If there's any way to reduce your outgoings, it will be found.

I would stop paying off any of his debts and get him to see one of charities that help with debt problems.

sourcrates

As he isn't currently working, if he can Russell up £90 from somewere, and he meets the other criteria, he should look into obtaining a debt relief order.

It's an ideal solution for someone who's unemployed, as there are no payments to make, and most debts can be included.

Info here : https://www.stepchange.org/Howwecanhelpyou/DRODebtrelieforder.aspx?WT.srch=1&WT.mc_id=288007&WT.seg_1=debt%20relief%20order&gclid=COqBtIeNvM0CFQo6GwodkGUL4Q

National_Debtline

Hi YasmineA90,

YasmineA90 wrote: »

..I have just found out that my boyfriend has several debts totalling over £5000 for the HMRC, local council, old utility bills etc, which he had before he met me.
I have started paying off some of his smaller debts but it is a struggle as I'm also paying all the bills etc, and I'm only currently on maternity pay with my employer, it's too much stress for me at the moment.

So, if you are on maternity at the moment then your partner could still claim Jobseekers Allowance (JSA) to boost the household income, plus your SMP and Child Benefit and Child Tax Credits - make sure you are claiming everything you should be to make things as easy as possible. You can do a benefit and grants check here www.turn2us.org.uk


You should then do a SOA to work out how much your partner can afford to pay to his debts from his share of the disposable household surplus. Everyone else on here has hit the nail on the head about liability and that you are not obligated to pay anything. I also appreciate that there isn't going to be a lot (if anything) disposable money with a young child and a low income, but with HMRC and council tax debt it is important that he tries to negotiate something to prevent the risk of action. Have you received any letters threatening enforcement action, like bailiffs?


A Debt Management Plan is unlikely to be suitable based on your current circumstances and the types of debts you are juggling, but a Debt Relief Order may help. A DRO is a way to get debts written off if you owe less than £20,000, have less than £50per month disposable money and less than £1,000 worth of assets (plus a car worth up to £1,000). Have a read of the factsheet and good luck,


Laura
@natdebtline

MissTigger

I'm on maternity but was told I'm not eligible to claim any other benefit (other than basic rate child benefit) due to being employed by the nhs I'm getting a relatively decent maternity pay compared to just smp alone.

He has not claimed any benefit while living with me due to no longer being eligibl, however I'm not too sure on whether he could or not. He has had bailiff letters several times and I'm worried in case they do come and take things, most of the valuable items here are what I technically paid for, and my car too. I hate being all 'this is mine and this is his' because we are a couple but with money being so tight Im worried something I've been given/worked hard for/saved for is going to be taken away from me.