Leaving home owned jointly with ex

espritlibre87

(lengthy explanation, sorry!)

I bought my home jointly with my (now separated) husband. We have been separated for over two years now. He moved out mid-2014 and pays me half of the mortgage payment each month (I've had to chase it some months but 99% of the time I get the right amount from him).

At the end of last year we agreed that he would buy my share of the house - allowing me to buy somewhere closer to my work and him to do up this house and sell it on for a profit. In January he told me he'd been to the bank and all was in hand. His dad was going to give him the money to purchase my share. I arranged to get the house valued and from that it transpired that my share was worth £60,000. At this point my ex started complicating things, talking a lot about 'figures' and discussing figure with both the estate agent and the bank. I asked him repeatedly to explain what he was on about - it seemed clear he was unhappy with the figure being higher than he'd hoped - but he just insisted all was in hand and he was meeting with the bank to discuss figures. Eventually I pushed for answers as nothing as moving forward (this entire process should have taken 6-8 weeks) and he then told me he'd changed his plans and was now looking to finance it himself, essentially remortgaging with the bank. He 'assured' me it would be sorted in a matter of months although I questioned how this could be the case when he'd told me months earlier that the bank had only told him he could take on a mortgage of £150k by himself (remortgaging to buy my share would be around £230k of debt). I suspect his plans have fallen through, knowing he is appallingly bad with money and likely has a terrible credit rating (he has had court orders in the past for not paying bills etc).

I haven't heard from him in nearly two months now, and in the meantime I am stuck living in a house that is not convenient for me, with a large mortgage (thankfully he continues to pay his half) and rising bills. I obviously cannot do anything with the house, even put it on the market, without his permission. I am desperate to move now, even if it means renting.

If I wanted to move out and find a property to rent in the interim (leaving him with the mortgage by himself) what rights would I lose? I know we both have the right to live in the property and the right to return, but would I lose any of my stake in the property by not contributing to the mortgage payments? I know obviously I would need his agreement to do this - I'm hoping it might spur a response from him, as he's (voluntarily) lived with his parents for the past two years and I imagine would be happy to return to the property and have it to himself. Would I need a solicitor to draw up a document stating that I still own half (or an agreed amount, if I don't pay any more towards the mortgage)? Could I have a condition in this agreement that he either buys my share or puts the house on the market within, say, a year?

Apologies for the essay - the renting option is my last resort (my first choice would be him buying me out so I have a lump sum to put down on a new property) so would appreciate advice on any of these options.... many thanks in advance?!

Thrugelmir

Consult a solicitor and start the process of separating your financial affairs in a formalised manner.

Boredatwrork

You would need to get a solicitor involved (which you would both have to agree and sign), that from Date X, he would pay and potentially get any money paid in from then onwards. obviously anything before that date would be 50/50.

Also just as a quick money saving exersize, as a single person living there, have you called your council to get 25% off your council tax, and also checked your elec/gas/water suppliers, you could be saving a chunk more economically. Are you also paying for life insurance so if something happened he would get the house paid for?...You need to stop that

espritlibre87

No life insurance and I've had the council tax discount ever since he moved out, thanks My utility bills have gone down a bit (not by much though). In terms of using a solicitor... I know fees can be a bit of an unknown quantity but any idea what I should be looking for? I'm guessing I literally want them for the purpose of drawing up that agreement, rather than a deal where I'm paying for every letter/e-mail they send out on my behalf?

Boredatwrork

No idea, but I would imagine a quick phone call, and they should be able to give you a rough number. Your request is quite common, (unless you have any unusual cirmcumstances). Im sure some people here have more experience and can probably give you a ball park figure.

Theres also a Marriage/relationships/Families part of the forum, it might be worth posting in there also.

Thrugelmir

If you want out along with a clean break. Then sell the property. A solicitors letter will provide seriousness of your intent, i.e. no more stalling. Don't bog yourself down in his problems.

To minimise costs deal direct with your ex as much as is practically possible. Though solicitors provide the buffer if the situation becomes difficult.

You'll need a financial consent order drawn up as part of the divorce. this the solicitor will do.

macca1974

the most obvious solution appears to me to be to sell the property, split whatever is left after mortgage and fees and then go on your way. A brief look at the mortgage calculator on this site suggests that your ex would need an income of £50-£60K to be able to raise a mortgage of £230K (assuming that he can with his bad credit history). That doesn't I don't think take into account any debts etc. If he isn't going to be able to realistically cover the cost of the mortgage and your equity then there is very little point pretending otherwise.

You both are liable for the mortgage payments, so if you didn't pay and your ex also didn't / couldn't pay, then the arrears / defaults etc would fall on both of you which would mess up your credit rating and might make it difficult renting / buying in the future.

Solicitors usually charge about £150 per hour around here, but you can usually get a half hour free with them. Which might be worth doing. The problem that you have is that it isn't easy to force somebody to sell (and involves a court case that could eat up a lot of your equity). So unless your ex can find a magic money tree, then you somehow need to convince them that selling is the only real alternative and that you need to do it sooner rather than later so that you can both move on with your lives.

macca1974

thrugelmir just said what I meant pretty concisely whilst I was typing out my waffly answer!

espritlibre87

Thanks all for your advice. The problem is that he continues to insist that selling isn't the quicker or most financially prudent option. He's talking out of his backside of course - the real motivation is that he is fixated on having the house in his name and then doing it up and selling for a profit. The reality is that he would probably just end up living here indefinitely having made no improvements (but that's not my problem). So every time I've told him I'm fed up of waiting and want to sell instead, he stalls further and obviously I can't sell without him agreeing. So frustrating!!

I'm thinking of suggesting to him that we get a separation agreement drawn up, stating that he will live here and be responsible for the mortgage, agreeing my share of the property, and perhaps an additional condition that the property either be put up on the market or my share purchased with 12-18 months. I've posted some further queries in the marriage/families forum as suggested. Wish these things were more simple!!

Thrugelmir

espritlibre87 wrote: »

I'm thinking of suggesting to him that we get a separation agreement drawn up, stating that he will live here and be responsible for the mortgage, agreeing my share of the property, and perhaps an additional condition that the property either be put up on the market or my share purchased with 12-18 months.

To enforce the agreement could result in costly legal action.

You are still liable for the mortgage should he default.

Boredatwrork

As hard as it is, you just have to keep pushing and pushing, agree to meet him, get a good old fashioned pen and paper and bash out some numbers with him present work through them in a clear practical manner so that he can understand each step with you, be civil and polite and understanding (however much inside you might be getting frustrated), make sure he is aware that you are aware of the finacial realities of both parties. Come across practical and helpful and at the same time clear that you just want to move the situation forward, tell him he is putting financial pressure on you, so its causing you to have to look into other options (talking to solicitors etc).

Obviously a lot easier said than done, but all you can do is attempt to wake him up, I know with some people this is quite a tough job in itself.

Good Luck.