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Impatience
Legacy_user
Posts: 0 Newbie
Hi everyone.
I just wanted to ask how people deal with the impatience to sort everything out....am discovering that I want it all sorted yesterday, but it's going to take a lot longer than that.
We discovered YNAB this year, thanks to money saving exp and are finally budgeting smarter and better than before. We've approx £20k to pay off, with most of that on interest free credit cards, and we are making just above minimum payments...
One of my challenges is that DH wants to understand how much we need to live on, and live ok, rather than massively cut back to speed up paying debt off....so I feel like we are on a slow trundle to sort everything out, whilst I'd favour a bit more of a gallop.
It's not like we're wasting cash...we still don't have enough in budget I'd say to meet all funds needed (e.g. Christmas saving or emergency fund) with the challenge being that my oh is self employed so income varies and arrives inconsistently. We've also had to fork out for nursery fees, and have both dropped 1 days work to do childcare so income is down...
So how do you stay motivated and manage the impatience? Thanks
I just wanted to ask how people deal with the impatience to sort everything out....am discovering that I want it all sorted yesterday, but it's going to take a lot longer than that.
We discovered YNAB this year, thanks to money saving exp and are finally budgeting smarter and better than before. We've approx £20k to pay off, with most of that on interest free credit cards, and we are making just above minimum payments...
One of my challenges is that DH wants to understand how much we need to live on, and live ok, rather than massively cut back to speed up paying debt off....so I feel like we are on a slow trundle to sort everything out, whilst I'd favour a bit more of a gallop.
It's not like we're wasting cash...we still don't have enough in budget I'd say to meet all funds needed (e.g. Christmas saving or emergency fund) with the challenge being that my oh is self employed so income varies and arrives inconsistently. We've also had to fork out for nursery fees, and have both dropped 1 days work to do childcare so income is down...
So how do you stay motivated and manage the impatience? Thanks
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Comments
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Morning
I think that feeling comes and goes for me. I think like anything new you want to throw yourself into it but as the old saying goes it is a marathon not a sprint for most of us.
I cope personally by focusing on small goals rather than the full amount . I think up ways to get to the next 1% paid etc and take part in the challenges on here which give a lot of support and motivation.
Good luck.
Bob" Your vibe attracts your tribe":D
Debt neutral 27/03/17 from £40k:eek: in the hole 2012.
Roadkill 17 £56.58 2016-£62.28 2015- £84.20)
RYSAW17 £1900 2016 £2,535.16 2015 £1027.200 -
For us it was a relatively slow process particularly as we insisted all communications be done in writing.
Once we got all our payment plans accepted it wasn't too long before the time came around for a review so we kind of started again!
On reflection I seem to spend half my life dealing with money or debt issues.
F x:j0 -
Its important that you and hubby agree a plan that works for both of you. Perhaps niether tortoise or hare, somewhere in the middle, pony perhaps?
In your situation the single easiest way to supercharge your debt repayment will be to up your income, promotion, new job, overtime or part time job. Throw all of this at the debt and this will help you smash your debt in super quick time.
I think this is a perfectly normal reaction, however we have to remember that these debts werent built up overnight and wont disappear overnight either. So settling down for the long haul can be a useful mindset to have with a quiet eye on the possibilty of sneakily doing quicker.
Good luck£1000 Emergency fund No90 £1000/1000
LBM 28/1/15 total debt - [STRIKE]£23,410[/STRIKE] 24/3/16 total debt - £7,298
!0 -
I totally understand where you're coming from and feel that its the same in my house!
I want to sort everything out immediately so that I have a plan and feel that I'm doing something while my husband wants to do things more gradually! Drives me mad!
I like the idea of having small and manageable goals though and the 1% suggestion is really good as I feel we make progress only to take two steps forward and then several back!0 -
Hi Ramblehan,
Effective budgeting is key but when one person is self employed it can make this harder. Have you tried doing a budget through the Business Debtline website - www.businessdebtline.org - it may help you to make sure that you have all of the allowances you need (such as Christmas, emergencies, birthdays etc.) If your OH knew these were building up somewhere nicely and that maybe you even have a small allowance to go out then it may feel a bit more relaxed for everyone - then once this is done you can overpay with confidence. Because you are still up to date with your minimum payments (and haven't done reduced negotiations) you can overpay when you can.
You would be surprised how much of a difference an extra £5 per week can make when you do it regularly enough. It won't cause any harm to pay what you and your OH have agreed to the debts and then if your OH gets an influx of money, and everything has been budgeted for - throw the rest at the debts - £2 here, £10 there - could shave months (or even years) off repayment terms. Good luck,
Laura
@natdebtlineWe work as money advisers for National Debtline and have specific permission from MSE to post to try to help those in debt. Read more information on National Debtline in MSE's Debt Problems: What to do and where to get help guide. If you find you're struggling with debt and need further help try our online advice tool My Money Steps0 -
When I was in your position, I used an IVA to clear my debts.
It all ticked along nicely, more or less, couldn't really hurry the process, so to pass the time I started advising on here............that was 2010 !!
Also played games with debt collection agencies to pass the time, that can be great fun, especially if they ring you, opens the door to all kinds of banter lolI’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free wannabe, Credit file and ratings, and Bankruptcy and living with it boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.For free non-judgemental debt advice, contact either Stepchange, National Debtline, or CitizensAdviceBureaux.Link to SOA Calculator- https://www.stoozing.com/soa.php The "provit letter" is here-https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2607247/letter-when-you-know-nothing-about-about-the-debt-aka-prove-it-letter0 -
Hi Ramblehan, I echo what Bobarella says... the feeling comes and goes.
Slow trundle versus fast gallop is a difficult one. I started out on the slow trundle with my £20k debt a couple of years ago. It was all perfectly manageable and things were ticking along nicely but then thoughts of what might happen if I lost my job, or got ill and couldn't do my job, or my landlady wanted her property back, or another large bill landed on my doormat etc suddenly set me off into a gallop!
My main motivation is just thinking that the sooner I get rid of all this debt, the sooner I can start saving, stop worrying about all these 'what if's' and just get on with my life. Once I'm debt free and have some savings behind me, if any of the 'what ifs' were to happen... well, I reckon I'll be in a much better position to deal with them than I am now lol
Good Luck with your journeyIf you can dream it, you can do it - Walt Disney0 -
Rablehan,
I hear you, friend . If there were Olympics for impatience I'd be out there in the finals with you. Having said that, we did pay off £100,000 in three years and one week so impatience can't be all that bad.
Having said that, it has to be controlled. My way yo do that was: one, to break down my big goal in smalleer ones so I felt progress every week and month; and two, to refocus from 'paying off all debt' to 'let's see how much extra money I can make this month'. Works like magic.
On a side note, your husband is right but you'd need to sit down together and be very specific exactly what 'living well' is for you. Next step would be what I call the 'ERR strategy for money management' - start eliminating all waste in your spending, replace (change) the way in which you get the things inprotant for you and reduce consumption (surely not all you consume and do at the moment is that important for you).
Hope this helps and good luck.
Firewalker0 -
Hey There!
I am about 6 months into my debt clearing with another 6 months to go. So far I've cleared over 7 grand of debt. It's is very frustrating sometimes, and there are times where I've just wanted to give up.
However, I'd offer some advice to you that helped me:
1) Budget, budget and budget. YNAB is superb, but you have to stick to it. Make sure you record all your receipts into it each day and check against your bank balance. After 6 months, I use YNAB as part of my every day life. I don't even rely on my bank balance anymore. Use it and embrace it. It will change your life.
2) Set yourself short term and long terms goals. For example, my goals were to first clear CC 1, then CC2 then CC3. Long term goals are to be debt free (obviously) and save 800£ a month after debt is gone. This way I can look forward to completing a goal every couple of months, rather than thinking "I am still in debt 6 months in".
3) Accept that it won't take overnight to fix. Getting out of debt is a slow and deliberate process and one that will make you understand the value of money hopefully for the rest of your life. Embrace the process and turn it into a positive. Learn from it.
4) Take every day as it comes. I feel frustrated every day. I want to buy things. To make me stop, I always take a day to decide whether I need something or not (no on the spot decisions anymore), and I check YNAB religiously. I see the CC balances on there, and it reminds me to keep going. I just think 'No, I won't buy that, just one more payday and CC 2 is paid off'.
5) Get into the mindset of giving your money jobs. Don't think - "I can't afford that" but think "That money is better going to the debt" or "That money is better spent on the kids' shoes". Remember, you can only spend money once. But you can plan it infinitely.
6) Give yourself a realistic budget. There is no point paying off debt if you are completely miserable. There has to be a bit of a balance. I still budget to have the odd meal out and the odd takeaway. OK I pay my debt off a month or two later. It's nothing in the big scheme of things. You have to be realistic with your expectations.
Hope this helps, and good luck! Come back here anytime if you are feel frustrated.
And one I almost forgot:
7) make sure you stop spending on your CCs. Put money aside each month for your car repairs, insurance, MOT, servicing, etc. Make sure everything is planned. You want to aim to have a few hundred pounds of emergency funds to cover eventualities so that when they crop up you have the cash to pay for them. I divided my car insurance premium by 12 and put that amount away each month. I also put about £100 away for car repairs (this includes everything to do with the car, even MOT and servicing), I also put away about £50 each month fro christmas and birthdays. These things happen so you need to plan for them. Some people think you shouldn't do this, but I do think it's important right now to stop using CCs to pay for things. It helps to change your mindset.October 2015 = -13242.16 DFD 28/10/2016 £0 :T0 -
Thanks ever so much for your replies. Just knowing I'm not the only one to feel like this helps in some way.
Love the idea of being a pony...and if I'm honest, I know we have not yet fully cracked budgeting, even with ynabs help.
Thanks again. You're all ace!0
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