Live with "toxic" parents in order to BUY or RENT, save then BUY?!

ambitiouspanda

I have worked out that after all my tax, overdraft, NI etc is deducted I should have:
£2356 for expenses if I were to live with my parents. The aim is to buy my own place (flat) but at 23 with a narcissistic mother and travelling (work) father I am really considering the options of renting in London for peace of mind.

I was thinking about living at home until Septemeber to get a feel for the commute into the city but I don't know if I can wait.

However, if stay at home with my parents I can save £1500 x 5 (August to December 2016) + the following 1 year or 2 for a deposit in a flat. Not necessarily in inner London.. outskirts etc.

But if I rent, £800 will go to rent, leaving me with little to nothing to save towards a deposit. My finance brain in saying stick it out -- you'll be out the house 6am, back by 8-9pm. You'll hardly have to deal with them. But, I know how toxic my parents can be and have been!

I am only 23 and I want to start life upwards!

gingercordial

If you move out it won't just be £800 in rent but also council tax, gas, electricity, water, phone line/broadband and so on as well as groceries for one which can work out more expensive.

Have you looked at renting a room or flat share? Spareroom.co.uk has over 5,000 listings in London at less than £600/month and I expect some of those have bills included.

On the other hand will your parents let you stay in their house rent-free, or do you have to make some contribution to all of the above household bills including your food? If you are working you really should be paying your way and so you need to factor that into how much you can save.

As to whether you can deal with your parents, that's not something any of us can answer.

bouicca21

If you can really stick to that budget you will still be looking at a 1 bed flat on the very outskirts of London, if not as far as the Medway towns or Harlow. Unless of course the economy tanks and property prices plummet. If you move out it will take even longer.

I know, it sucks. Rock and hard place. But at least if you move out you can have a bit of fun - life is to be enjoyed not endured.

Grenage

If we're talking a year or maybe two, by all means suck it up for while. Anything more... well, you only live once.

Of course, London houses prices in two years may once again be unaffordable.

ambitiouspanda

bouicca21 wrote: »

If you can really stick to that budget you will still be looking at a 1 bed flat on the very outskirts of London, if not as far as the Medway towns or Harlow. Unless of course the economy tanks and property prices plummet. If you move out it will take even longer.

I know, it sucks. Rock and hard place. But at least if you move out you can have a bit of fun - life is to be enjoyed not endured.

I was looking around and I should be able to afford a place in London or the nearby outskirts so long as it is £200K and under.. SURELY?! Essex is a bit far!

ambitiouspanda

gingercordial wrote: »

If you move out it won't just be £800 in rent but also council tax, gas, electricity, water, phone line/broadband and so on as well as groceries for one which can work out more expensive.

Have you looked at renting a room or flat share? Spareroom.co.uk has over 5,000 listings in London at less than £600/month and I expect some of those have bills included.

On the other hand will your parents let you stay in their house rent-free, or do you have to make some contribution to all of the above household bills including your food? If you are working you really should be paying your way and so you need to factor that into how much you can save.

As to whether you can deal with your parents, that's not something any of us can answer.

Yes, I was looking at spareroom -- £800 max for bills included etC AND you are right.

hazyjo

ambitiouspanda wrote: »

I was looking around and I should be able to afford a place in London or the nearby outskirts so long as it is £200K and under.. SURELY?! Essex is a bit far!

So long as you don't mind a studio flat in London, yep.


Jx

Cakeguts

My advice would be to not live with them under any circumstances. "Toxic" parents cause health issues which I don't want to go into here but basically the least contact you have with them the better for you.

Any chance that you can change your job and move to a different area of the country? Without being seen as terribly mean you don't want to have to deal with them if they are ill.

ambitiouspanda

hazyjo wrote: »

So long as you don't mind a studio flat in London, yep.


Jx

No I don't mind. First investment.

mildredalien

If £2356 is your take home pay then even after you deduct £800 for rent + bills, that could still leave you with a decent amount to save per month if you are careful with other expenses. You would really need to do a proper budget and make sure you stick to it - you mention overdraft so that's the first thing to get a handle on!

Personally I'd move out, I've always valued my independence highly even without toxic parents and you are still young.

ReadingTim

Well, you've managed 20+ years with these "toxic" parents, so a couple more can't really kill you can it?!? That said, moving back home can be difficult if you've lived away, for example at university, so I can sympathise.

However, part of the hopelessness you may feel at the situation might be because you can't see a way out - if you grit your teeth and remind yourself that it's only for a set period of time, it'll soon be over - just make sure you don't spend what you're supposed to be saving on going out, to avoid being at home with your mum & dad in the evenings!