Still putting it off...

foolofbeans

DH and I have over £30,000 of debt. We have a good income and no housing costs but live hand to mouth due to debt repayments. I have two major problems - (1) getting DH on board with tackling debt and (2) shopping costs.
I have done the SOA and showed DH so he can see in black and white that we can't afford to pay the outgoings on our income. He acknowledged it but no change has been made to our lifestyle. I have carried on regardless too as I don't see the point in scrimping on groceries when he can spend £100 a month on cigarettes and going out.
I know I need to contact StepChange but I'm scared they are going to propose actions I don't want to do. Ideally I'd like to struggle through paying the debts off slowly but that can't happen when we can't even afford minimum payments.
I'm not even after any views really....I know what needs to be done but once again I'm dragging my heels and doing anything but. Hopefully this post will click something in my brain to get on and sort things out so I no longer feel like I'm treading deep water.

National_Debtline

Hi

You could always try self-negotiating with your creditors first. That way you’ll be in control of the outgoings shown on your SOA. It’s ultimately up to each creditor whether they find your figures acceptable.

It sounds like a frustrating situation with your husband. Hopefully posting on here will give you the inspiration you're looking for.

James
@natdebtline

another_casualty

Well, you've been a member here since 2013.
Keeping your head in the sand for another 3 years not doing anything , will only make things worse.
£30,000 for the two of youn, is less than I owe pro rata.
I don't see anything here to go on, but you need to get a grip financially speaking and stop,it building up.
Good luck:)

Bouncybubbles

STOP PUTTING IT OFF!!! I put it off for over two years and I wish I had done it sooner as I could have been debt free this year instead of 2018! Anyway yes stepchange will probably suggest something that you may not want to do but you don't have to do anything. you can struggle on and barely afford to live or you can take the bull by the horns and deal with it now

Kitten868

Dealing with two peoples debts when one person isn't on board is really hard. My approach has been to take over the finances and give him an allowance. I know how much he is going to waste each month - it's budgeted for and once it's gone it's gone. In his own way he's budgeting. AND for the first time both of our debts are going down!!! It wound me up no end that however much mine went down he's went up more. Just not having to worry about his debt increasing is fantastic but to see it going down is amazing!!!!
Just an idea. And he's seeing the benefits now and getting on board

Bite the bullet!! X

foolofbeans

Thank you all for your kind words and online kicks-up-the-backside. I know what I need to do but I guess I was still hoping for a magical solution
I have negotiated with one creditor and I was lucky that they were more than fair and were very understanding - I realise that not all creditors will be like this though.

Kitten868 wrote: »

Dealing with two peoples debts when one person isn't on board is really hard. My approach has been to take over the finances and give him an allowance.

I deal with all the finances already but DH still has his bank card which I've been loathe to take off him as he's an adult and I shouldn't have to be his keeper. But seeing as he has no control even when he acknowledges we have to tighten our belts this might have to be the last option.

pennystretcher

If he is spending £100 a month on entertainment, you should squirrel away same amount into savings and treat yourself every now and then..

Seriously though, what kind of debts are they? Loans or CCs or both? And are they in his name or yours?
Obviously move CCs to lowest possible rate - and check possibility and rates for loans before you call the creditors to negotiate - if you can tell them you can get a better deal elsewhere they might be more willing to drop rate...?

And give your DH weekly allowance (like you would a child) if he can't control what he is spending.