Sooooo I'm debt free but....

Muhren

.... it feels rather anticlimactic.

So what has happened, back in 2012 I hit rock bottom and I mean rock bottom through depreesion and massive gambling debts. I had to bite the bullet and move back home with my parents and they borrowed money to pay off my debts.

Fast forward to today and things are so much better, on the whole my depression is under control as as the title suggests I am debt free, although I feel like I have cheated somewhat. Basically my folks have been paying the interest on the money I borrowed to help me pay it off quicker and I was fully expecting to pay it back, however they have told me that they don't want it back.

I know to a lot of people something like this would be a godsend and that I should count myself lucky, however it kind of leaves me feeling a bit empty as I haven't righted my wrongs if you like. Has this happened to anyone else?

I want to do something nice for them so I'm thinking of saving up to send them on holiday somehwere.

After this somewhat downbeat post isn't there a thread somwhere that I can post about all the positive experiences along the way?!

Willowpop

Muhren,
Firstly I'm glad you have your depression under control, and what a lovely gesture from your folks.

However, you're not lone in feeling a bit 'funny' a bit being debt free.
I make my last payment to my credit card next week, on payday after 4 years of hard work paying something around 15k off... and I thought I'd be over the moon. Instead I'm kinda feeling bad at how much I've been paying, and therefore how much I've not been able to save up. So yes, I can save from now on, but I guess I'm just cross at my elf for getting into the debt in the first place... what I am trying to say is that I think you shouldn't worry about it feeling like an anti climax.

Getting something for your folks would be a lovely idea... what about a nice meal for you all? I'm sure they are just glad yure out of debt and seeing you saving money will be all the thankyou they need.

Hugs.

x

Willowpop

Lol. I'm not cross at my elf. I'm cross at myself.
Though I might blame my elf for the anti climax. Would you like to blame the elf too? :rotfl:

Muhren

Willowpop wrote: »

Lol. I'm not cross at my elf. I'm cross at myself.
Though I might blame my elf for the anti climax. Would you like to blame the elf too? :rotfl:

That did make me smile! Looking back it did feel like I was someone else back in 2012, maybe it was the elf!

Thanks for your comments.

Hermia

I think the anticlimactic feeling is quite normal when something good happens. I know people who have got to their goal weight, got their dream job or got married who felt like that afterwards. I think we have too many expectations about what achieving a goal feels like.

I wonder if your parents will worry about you spending money on a holiday given you have had money issues. It might make them concerned. I think a meal or a nice day out with you would please them.

Meepmeep

I understand how you feel. I was 25k in debt, worked hard andpaid off about 5k. Then I was left some money in a will (this was a total surprise, completely out of the blue). I used the money to pay off the debt in its entirety. I remember calling up each credit card company and clearing each balance. I thought I'd feel good doing this, but actually I felt quite sick with guilt that I needed to use the money for debt and then empty.
Certainly not how I imagined I'd feel. For ages I also felt I'd somehow cheated - because I didn't pay it back by my own volition.
A year or two has passed since then and I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt still, but now the overall feeling is one of relief that I'm no longer a slave to debt.
Give it a bit of time and I think you'll feel better about it.

Muhren

Meepmeep wrote: »

I understand how you feel. I was 25k in debt, worked hard andpaid off about 5k. Then I was left some money in a will (this was a total surprise, completely out of the blue). I used the money to pay off the debt in its entirety. I remember calling up each credit card company and clearing each balance. I thought I'd feel good doing this, but actually I felt quite sick with guilt that I needed to use the money for debt and then empty.
Certainly not how I imagined I'd feel. For ages I also felt I'd somehow cheated - because I didn't pay it back by my own volition.
A year or two has passed since then and I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt still, but now the overall feeling is one of relief that I'm no longer a slave to debt.
Give it a bit of time and I think you'll feel better about it.

It is a relief to hear that I am not the only one that has felt like this.

I found this out on Tuesday but didn't feel like posting then. I hope you are right and I will feel more comfortable with it in the near future.

ViolaLass

Life is about enjoying the struggle.

Pick a new target. Want to save for something new? Or do you want to use your time to take up a new hobby/sport/volunteering opportunity?

Jeems

It is anticlimatic naturally because you have been working towards a goal for so long, and you kinda expect something at the end of it, but instead you get a big fat 0 - which is good in this case! Appreciate that your parents are so willing to help you out.

I suggest 2 new money targets - one, start building a saving pot for yourself, and two, money to take your parents out for a nice meal/away for the weekend. Doesn't have to be anything fancy. I think they'll be really happy if they find out you've saved money to get them a small treat AND are making savings towards your own financial future. Good luck!

fusionx212

you know what it is, money is quite secretive. you never really disclose how much you earn or pay out to people so the fact is as soon as you reach a mile stone and a big milestone of going debt free. you want to tell everyone but then everyone gives you that judgemental oh you're stupid for getting into trouble in the first place look. Pah.. i say Have a victory dance yes your folks helped you but if it was my kids,

I'd do everything I can to sort them out on the straight. I can guarantee you the discussions about borrowing and debt will be had with them.

I am going to sit down with them and show them how to pay council taxes rent mortgages. this is what i did not have, no pointing fingers at my parents but they were are still are terrible with money.

This definitely rubbed off on me and sometimes I'm like oh I can put that bill off or delay it.. but then I think about how stupid that is, it's a shame my wife is so poor with money also. I earn the most in our household I've got my budget sheet now and although sounds extreme we look at what we have in the budget and follow it religiously.

Jagraf

I had been in debt for years and paid the last off last year. I cannot even admit what I owed, even on here, but it was tens and tens of thousands.

I didn't feel elated, just calm. I look back now at how much interest I paid which woukd have bought me a house outright. I then get offers from credit cards which makes me cross but gives me some comfort in that I don't owe them a penny. I have learned so much.

Don't spend a lot of money on your folks - they don't want to see you spend, they want to see you happy and secure. Cook them a meal or spend some time with them.

Just enjoy the peacefulness that being debt free brings - don't owe anyone money again - and breathe x