Leaked papers reveal extent of financial scandal

Thrugelmir

Interesting news I thought it worth sharing.

The Department of Health has ordered an investigation after leaked documents showed that billions of pounds of public money had disappeared without trace after being laundered through a complex network of shady organisations known as “the NHS”.

The documents, known as the Provider Papers, reveal how the financial trail was covered by an elaborate scheme involving numerous shell companies set up for no other purpose than to make it impossible to know what was going on.

One of these, NHS England, has instructed CCGs to check all contracts for evidence of dealings with so-called “providers”, as shock waves from the biggest financial scandal in history continue to reverberate throughout the known universe.

The review was ordered after it emerged that David Cameron’s father had used the NHS on several occasions.

Mr Cameron senior’s links with top politicians came to light after pictures published by all news media showed him in clandestine meetings with the prime minister. The association between the pair is known to date back to 1966.

In one, Mr Cameron senior is seen pushing the future prime minister on a tricycle thought to have been manufactured in a former British colony frequently used as a tax shelter by the rich and powerful.

In another, he is caught on camera giving “pocket money” to the young David Cameron. The prime minister insisted that he had done nothing wrong and that far from concealing the income in offshore funds run by companies registered in South America, he had used it to buy an ice cream.

In a scathing response, Jeremy Corbyn declared that ice cream was a luxury few could afford. The leader of the opposition called for an immediate investigation into unfairness, the resignation of Iain Duncan Smith, and a Mr Whippy with a double flake and a squirt of strawberry sauce.

The health secretary, Jeremy Hunt, said: “This confirms my long-held suspicion that every junior doctor in the country is a millionaire tax cheat. Fortunately my popular new contract makes it possible to close this loophole with a clause that allows me to do anything I like at any time.”

A far-reaching investigation lasting at least ten years will attempt to discover how money destined for frontline health services was instead used to fund a labyrinthine system of regulators, bureaucrats and advisers providing no benefit whatsoever to the public or the UK economy.

Moby