Confident

engineer_amy

Fake it 'til you make it!


I went from being a shy mouse that was scared to pick up the phone to being possibly the most confident person I know. And it wasn't down to one specific thing, it was a combination of things, over the course of a few years, and with plenty of practice.
I found that when I answered the phone, I was hunched over and my voice came out tiny. Simply sitting up straight with your shoulders back made my voice seem stronger on the phone, so I sounded more confident to the person on the other end.


even think about your posture when speaking with someone face to face - shoulders back and eye contact make all the difference.


Realising that most people are wrapped up in their own little world a lot of the time and are not concerned about how you look or what you are wearing. Stop worrying about what people think and be yourself. This was a big thing for me.


Look at someone that you perceive as confident, a manager, a family member or someone in media - watch how they hold themselves when speaking to people, look at their body language and pick up on the things that make them seem confident to you.


if you start pushing yourself to act a bit more confidently, soon it will become second nature to you, and you wont need to act confident, you will be confident

missbiggles1

engineer_amy wrote: »

Fake it 'til you make it!


I went from being a shy mouse that was scared to pick up the phone to being possibly the most confident person I know. And it wasn't down to one specific thing, it was a combination of things, over the course of a few years, and with plenty of practice.
I found that when I answered the phone, I was hunched over and my voice came out tiny. Simply sitting up straight with your shoulders back made my voice seem stronger on the phone, so I sounded more confident to the person on the other end.


even think about your posture when speaking with someone face to face - shoulders back and eye contact make all the difference.


Realising that most people are wrapped up in their own little world a lot of the time and are not concerned about how you look or what you are wearing. Stop worrying about what people think and be yourself. This was a big thing for me.


Look at someone that you perceive as confident, a manager, a family member or someone in media - watch how they hold themselves when speaking to people, look at their body language and pick up on the things that make them seem confident to you.


if you start pushing yourself to act a bit more confidently, soon it will become second nature to you, and you wont need to act confident, you will be confident

^^^^^^^

This ..

You don't have to beconfident but you should endeavour to appear so.

MacMickster

missbiggles1 wrote: »

^^^^^^^

This ..

You don't have to beconfident but you should endeavour to appear so.

Exactly. Think of yourself as an actor, playing the part of a confident person.

Observe others doing your job who appear to be confident, then at home literally rehearse acting like them on the phone. Try to visualise yourself handling phone calls well and, as others have already said, ensure that you learn your job well so that you not only sound as though you know what you are talking about, but actually do know your stuff.

If you don't know something then ask. This can sometimes be the hardest thing for someone who lacks confidence, but to paraphrase the signature of a prolific MSE poster, Thrugelmir, if you ask a question that others consider obvious then the worst that can happen is that you look a bit foolish for a few minutes. If you don't ask, then you will remain foolish forever. It may also be worth "rehearsing" asking questions of colleagues or your manager. Think about how you feel if people ask you questions because they regard you as an expert. Chances are that rather than considering them a nuisance, it actually boosts your ego a bit so you are pleased to help.

szam_

Personally, i'm incredibly unconfident outside the office when meeting or speaking to new people, i hate crowds and social situations because I never know what to say or how to act and often feel socially stupid. I'm incredibly reclusive and think alone time is the best time I have.

That being said, I'm confident in my role as a Consultant because I know what I'm talking about. The people I am speaking to are not my friends, they are people from business's who just want to get something working or want an end product. As such, I don't treat them in a social way, I treat my interactions with them 100% professionally. I don't care if they hate my voice/face/way of talking/accent - as long as I know i'm being professional and doing my job to the best of my ability, my employer will see the same thing and treat me accordingly. It's like a detatchment from my real self to someone else who is just going to treat the job as a job and nothing more.

But that's just my method for dealing with it

Leo2020

Practise for me. I was very, very shy at one point. Wouldn't look people in the eye. Then I got a job in a call centre. I didn't have a choice but to speak to customers. I think people have different ways of dealing with situations.

For example interviews, I have heard so many times that you should prepare, think about the questions they might ask. All that did for me was make me panic if I got asked a question I wasn't expecting. The only thing I do now before an interview is research the company as businesses like you to show some interest in them. Other than that I do it on the fly, this would terrify some but works for me.

Sometimes prep works, sometimes throwing yourself in the deep end does, sometimes practise. Everyone is different.

DCFC79

xapprenticex wrote: »

getting used to doing it basically. Exposure.

and understanding that nobody cares about you (as in how you speak on the phone etc), we all think about ourselves, whats on TV tonight, what we are eating later etc etc.

Exactly this, the more you do it the easier it will be.

20aday

Practice makes perfect.

I still get tongue tied from time to time but I think ahead of what I'd like to say, take a couple of deep breaths and get it 'out of the way'.

Sometimes I do procrastinate (which is when I often end up tongue tied!) but there are times when you have to leap into the unknown.

People sometimes think I'm confident when in reality they couldn't be further from the truth.

Timpu

Try joining local public speaking meetings, it's a chance to practise and everyone's there because they want to improve.

lincroft1710

SharpShooter wrote: »

They cant sack you for not being confident. But you and the employer should take active steps to address this- maybe a lack of knowledge in you work?

They can sack you for underperformance etc.

Oh yes they can! You can be dismissed without reason in the first 2 years of being employed and if the employer thinks you're unsuitable because of lack of confidence, out you go! Employers are not obliged to help employees overcome their weaknesses.

It can be argued that lack of confidence is a capability issue, the employee is not confident enough to carry out the task required.