Pensions when divorced

atush

yeah, and the point I AM MAKING is, those children born outside of marriage statistically do worse in both education and life chances.

Dont take my word for it, multiple studies incl one over 60 years long in the UK.

So if you love your kids, marry their mother.

choccielover

So you just think that fair division of assets is wrong then? In the archaic belief of course that it's always the men that provide the bulk of such.

Still not getting the point are you.

A) it should be a fair split including pensions.
I know it's hard to believe but sometimes the woman in the relationship is the higher earner. Not complaining about them having to share assets are you???

grey_gym_sock

atush wrote: »

yeah, and the point I AM MAKING is, those children born outside of marriage statistically do worse in both education and life chances.

Dont take my word for it, multiple studies incl one over 60 years long in the UK.

not a very conclusive argument. there are lots of possible explanations for that correlation.

So if you love your kids, marry their mother.

even if you are their mother?

mark5

Op,

What happened to the other assets when you divorced?

House, cars, savings etc?

Kynthia

Bootsox wrote: »

Well, daft and blinkered comment or not, the UK divorce rate is a whopping 42%.

..and I bet there's a fair chunk of the remaining 58% who are living in abject misery.

It's just as easy for a man to live with a woman and have kids without getting married (in 2013, 48% of children were born outside marriage).

The point I am making is that the law is so heavily biased against men that is has had the (presumably) unintended consequence of making marriage virtually untenable.

...and don't give me all that lovey-dovey nonsense, save that for the TV.

So are you advocating having a life together and making choices about who earns, who builds pension and who provides childcare; however if you split not fairly dividing the assets that were accumulated by both of you during this time? Disgusting that you would do this to the person you loved and are one of your children's parents.

If a couple decide that one of them will have a good job and pension while the other supports the family by non-financial means, then it was intended that the pension was to support both of them. So why wouldn't it be split??? It doesn't only belong to one of them. They could have decided together to both build a pension if it was so important to them, which may have meant sacrifices elsewhere.

Kynthia

grey_gym_sock wrote: »

not a very conclusive argument. there are lots of possible explanations for that correlation.



even if you are their mother?

Maybe one of the explanations is some of them have dads that want to 'keep what is theirs' rather than become a family, and prioritise themselves over those they care about.

(That's not me saying all unmarried parents are like this or are uncommitted as I know many many families where there is no difference to families where the parents are married and are wonderful.)

jimi_man

Bootsox wrote: »

Well, daft and blinkered comment or not, the UK divorce rate is a whopping 42%.

..and I bet there's a fair chunk of the remaining 58% who are living in abject misery.

It's just as easy for a man to live with a woman and have kids without getting married (in 2013, 48% of children were born outside marriage).

The point I am making is that the law is so heavily biased against men that is has had the (presumably) unintended consequence of making marriage virtually untenable.

...and don't give me all that lovey-dovey nonsense, save that for the TV.

Alternatively why not turn out round the other way. 'Why blokes (or any sex for that matter) bother getting divorced is beyond me'.

Maybe people could try putting some effort into life and make sure they choose wisely in the first place and then actually work at it, instead of giving up at the first hurdle.

jamesd

Kynthia wrote: »

if you split not fairly dividing the assets that were accumulated by both of you during this time? Disgusting that you would do this

It may be disgusting but it's the law. The split of assets is not just was accumulated during the marriage in most of the country.

Bootsox

atush wrote: »

yeah, and the point I AM MAKING is, those children born outside of marriage statistically do worse in both education and life chances.

Dont take my word for it, multiple studies incl one over 60 years long in the UK.

So if you love your kids, marry their mother.

So, with 48% of children born outside marriage, are you suggesting that society is heading for some form of meltdown?

From my own point of view, my child was privately educated.

..this was possible for one reason, and one reason only, I refused to get married.

This put me in total control of the finances, i.e. no money wasted on thieving solicitors and mother protected from her own financial ineptitude.

mark5

I don't think it's marriage that make children do better, I think it's generally the backgrounds of those that choose to marry are that they are higher achievers and the children follow suit. If that makes sense?