She says I owe her money, I say I don't. What's the next step??

Kiplin7

Hi, I'm looking for advise on where to go next.

Firstly the background story....
I was married for 9 years, when we separated 20 months ago myself and my exs mum were of the impression that myself and my ex had equal debts in our own names of about 12k each and joint debt of 7k. When we split myself and her mum agreed that i'd pay off the joint debt and myself and my ex would be responsible for our own, which I kept to.
Our separation wasn't very amicable and I had to go to the police on one occasion and a friend on a mother seperate occasion to complain about harassment from my ex and people associated with her.

Roll on 6 months and I get a letter from my exs solicitor saying that my ex has 23k of debt in her name and I'm to pay it back at £100 a week!! I denied any knowledge of the total of this debt, have never seen proof though they claim they have it all documented.

January this year we went to a financial separation court hearing to have our financial dispute sorted in court.
I declared all my finances with no problem, she on the other hand didn't saying to the judge "I don't want him to know my situation". The fact is she wanted to play the poor single mum card and try to hide the fact that she is now living with a rich fella and she didn't want to disclose this.
She tried mentioning this 23k debt but the judge shot her down and issued us a compete financial clean break order.
Now since February I have had 4 emails and letters from her mum stating that she paid off this £23k best of my exs and that I owe her half as that was the agreement between my ex and her mum. I have asked on each occasion (nicely) that if is not my debt and I wish to be left alone. She is also trying to threaten me with interest at a rate she decides.

Since February I have been off work due to a stress related illness brought on by the divorce/court situation.
Everyone I've spoken to has assured me that she is in the wrong and has no legal standing however this is not helping my stress.

My question is...What/who do I go to to get this to stop once and for all?

jamesd

The judge has resolved the matter.

She is harassing you and demanding payment for monies not owed. Send her a letter recorded delivery saying that:

1. the judge decided that the money was not owed and that decision is binding.
2. if she continues to demand money that a court has decided is not owed you will report the harassment to the police.

Then do exactly that if she does it again, moving on to seek a court order that nobody is to contact you about this matter again.

swampduck

Any arrangement decided between your ex and her mum is their business and has nothing to do with you.
The judge has declared a clean financial break between you and your ex and her mum is contravening this by continuing to harrass you for money.
You are quite within your rights to seek legal advice from a solicitor if necessary obtaining a restraining order so that you can move on from this toxic state of affairs.
Limit the ways this woman can contact you - change your email and return any letters unopened. Start looking after yourself and maybe think about attending an assertiveness course - this will help you with dealing with people who are essentially bullies.
Good luck with moving on.

Swampy

sourcrates

Unless she has a written agreement backing up her claim, it's all hot air she's spouting.
Verbal agreements have no basis in law, it's that simple, she can say what she likes, unless she has a written, signed agreement to that effect, forget it !!!

Also any debt in your ex's name, is exclusively hers, nothing at all to do with you, not by association, or anything else, debt does not transfer between people married or otherwise.

Soph86_2

Agree with the above - once a financial separation has been done, she doesn't have a claim for any more money.

greensalad

Send Mum a stern letter stating:

- The debt is not yours
- You will not be paying
- Any continued contact will be considered harassment and will be reported to the police. For example

Dear X,

As decided by X court on X date, the debt of £23,000 is not in my name and I am not to be held liable for it.

Please do not contact me regarding this matter again.

Any contact from you, your daughter or any other acquaintances in relation to this matter will be recorded and reported as harassment to the police.

Yours sincerely,
Kiplin7

Post this to her. Not email or text or anything. Post it. Retain a copy.

From then on do not answer a single text message, email, contact, anything. Do not engage. If she calls you say "you received my letter. Do not contact me again" and hang up.

Keep a record/diary of all contact made. If it still continues after, say, one month then do indeed report it to the police. You'll be able to show them the court documentation and the firm letter you sent to them and they will probably go round and give her a telling off. But hopefully the letter will make her go away.