I'm in so much debt and so, so ashamed :-(

ElleWoods

Hi everyone, thank you so much for being so kind and non-judgmental. It's overwhelming. Sorry I didn't respond last night but I was feeling really down and hopeless and wasn't in a good place to post. I can see there's a 'quote multi-posts' feature but can't work out how to use it, so I'll answer your queries as best I can without quoting.

I'm desperate to find work and/or increase my earnings somehow, preferably without resorting to prostitution (which, believe it or not, I have considered). I spent last night looking online for jobs, doing up my CV and looking at my options, and I'm considering advertising as a cleaner in the local area. Even just one or two clients a week would help. I'll need the car for that though to cart my supplies and vacuum around!

The £5k in assets is my car. I estimated that amount as I'm unsure what it's currently worth, it might be worth slightly more. The car loan is a motor finance loan which I took out with the finance company through the dealer when I bought it. I'm not halfway through the repayments yet, I've had the car just over a year and I've got just under 3 years left to pay on it. I paid for my last car the same way - took out finance, paid it off over 4 years, then ran the car into the ground for the following 7 years. Obviously my situation is totally different now but I'm planning on doing the same with this one (if I keep it, that is). The petrol is a teeny amount since I left my job - it used to be 3-4 times that amount per month but I now mainly use the car to get to my parents house, do a food shop or drive my son to parties or to see friends that are outside the local area. In my head I saw that reduction in petrol as a saving but clearly as one savvy poster pointed out, I'm spending three times that amount per month in road tax, car insurance, parking costs and car maintenance! Out of interest, I assume that if I sell the car I won't get any of my annual car insurance refunded? I paid annually in November.

The £199 other income is child maintenance (which is often late). The £19.99 education is a business course I registered on a few months ago and I'm contracted to repay that amount monthly until October.

I'll call Sky to see if they'll reduce the TV bill as I'm no longer in contract for TV but I can't change the phone/landline/broadband as I only recently swapped to them, so I'm tied in for 12 months.

I get free prescriptions but the £35 per month medical stuff covers contact lenses and the hayfever meds that I need for 2-3 months every year. I worked out the annual cost for these and divided by 12. My glasses are about 11 years old and my prescription has changed slightly since then, so I only wear them in the evenings. I can't afford new glasses at the moment so need the contacts. I'm blind without them!

I only get my hair cut twice a year and colour the greys myself at home but my son needs his doing every month so it's neat for school. I'll look for somewhere cheaper though.

Totally agree that the entertainment/sport/hobbies needs to go. I'll stop my classes and exercise at home. I'm tied into my son's swimming lessons for another 6 weeks and then I'll cancel. He can do without them until I'm back on my feet.

I accounted for pet food in with the groceries. In terms of groceries I'm on a mission now to cut this cost down to a max of £150 per month by meal planning and shopping at Aldi.

I hardly ever buy clothes for myself and when I do it's usually from charity shops/Primark. It helps that I hate shopping! My son is nearly 10 and is shooting up, so most of the clothes/shoes cost is for him but I'll aim to cut that down as much as I can.

I don't have any savings as I used mine to live on over the past few months, so I'm starting to build them up again. I pay £20 into my account each month and a fiver into my son's account, as psychologically I feel like I should be saving something. Think I need to stop for now though and that'll be another £25 cut.

I messaged Stepchange yesterday on their live chat system but at that point I hadn't done my SOA, so it was hard for them to help me but now I've done it I'm going to call them tomorrow to go through it all. I know this sounds daft but I'm really scared about doing that because I feel like such an idiot for getting into this mess. I'm unsure about doing a DRO because I feel like I've got myself into this mess and need to get out of it myself by paying it all off. Getting it wiped seems like too easy a way out. Daft, I know. It's like I'm trying to punish myself for getting into debt and I have to serve my penance.

I'm helping my parents but don't think I'm entitled to carer's allowance as I'm not required every single day (yet!). I'll look into it though. I've considered moving in with them before but their house is pretty small and even though it has three bedrooms, the small one is so tiny that even a single bed won't fit. I can't see how a growing pre-teen will cope with that. Also, I need some respite from the caring I do, which I wouldn't get if we all lived in the same property. They live in a council property, so I'm not sure how it would work with regards to the council - I assume I couldn't just move in and start contributing to the rent and bills as that would mean they'd be sub-letting. My parents have actually been talking about asking the council to downsize them to a 1-bed bungalow/flat as they're struggling with the upkeep of the house and garden, so any possibilities will need to be made and discussed with them quite quickly.

Hope I haven't missed anything. Thanks again for your responses, there are some suggestions I hadn't thought of and now I feel [STRIKE]a bit[/STRIKE] more able to start making some changes.

GaleSF63

SoftKittyWarmKitty wrote: »

I get free prescriptions but the £35 per month medical stuff covers contact lenses and the hayfever meds that I need for 2-3 months every year. I worked out the annual cost for these and divided by 12. My glasses are about 11 years old and my prescription has changed slightly since then, so I only wear them in the evenings. I can't afford new glasses at the moment so need the contacts. I'm blind without them!

Did you complete an HC1 form for free prescriptions because it should have covered glasses as well. When I last applied I wasn't quite eligible for prescriptions but still got vouchers for glasses. You might not be so keen on glasses but it looks as if it could save you quite a bit of money a month.

ElleWoods

GaleSF63 wrote: »

Did you complete an HC1 form for free prescriptions because it should have covered glasses as well. When I last applied I wasn't quite eligible for prescriptions but still got vouchers for glasses. You might not be so keen on glasses but it looks as if it could save you quite a bit of money a month.

I'm not sure but I've got the letter that came with my certificate so I'll give them a ring, thanks.

MERFE

Get you doctor to prescribe the hayfever medication then it'll be covered with your free prescription card. Even when its only a couple of months a year they can do it on repeat if you have had it before to save having an appointment every year. I am guilty of buying my sons even though we could get his free too because its just easier, but I cant afford to this year and neither can you otherwise you wouldn't have the card.

Are you getting all the benefits you are entitled to? Have you claimed LHA? Maybe worth making an appointment at the job centre and going through all your options with someone there.

shazzer22

Hi, just read your post and the great suggestions that have been made by others. Whilst I can't immediately think of anything further to add, just thought some words of encouragement might be helpful!

You said that you've previously been in debt and got yourself out of it, thats amazing, so you know you can absolutely do this. Whilst you might be feeling ashamed right now, an act of courage such as posting on MSE and reaching out for support will soon kick that shame out of the park. You're back in control now and taking action, go for it!

nkkingston

if you know your prescription, who can order glasses online for a fraction of the cost of buying them in an opticians - http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/cheap-glasses. You need someone to measure the distance between your pupils, and they take a while to arrive, but they're about the same as a month's contact lenses prescription.

Sanctioned_Parts_List

Didn't want to read and run.

Have you tried micro-jobs, for example Amazon's mechanical turk for some extra funds in slack moments? Unless you have a very specialist skill, it'll never replace a real job, but money's money.

LPMS

In order to claim Carer's Allowance you need to care for someone 35 hours per week, so it doesn't really matter if you are not there everyday just yet, as long as you care for 35hr per week.

https://www.gov.uk/carers-allowance/eligibility

anna_1977

Do call Stepchange again, they are so helpful

With regards to the car insurance you will get a refund but there is probably a cancellation charge somewhere.

greensalad

SoftKittyWarmKitty wrote: »

I'll need the car for that though to cart my supplies and vacuum around!

When I had a cleaner I bought all the bits and she used them. Like everything. She'd give me a list and I'd buy it and then she'd write a note on the fridge when something needed replenishing. I'm pretty sure that's how it always works. Even a work cleaner will use the office cleaning supplies and hoover.