Witnesses to sign register

firebird082

Hi everyone,

I'm having a bit of a dilemma. We're having a church wedding in May this year, and were intending to ask my fiance's sister and my 'chief' bridesmaid to be our witnesses. However, I am facing some pressure from my Mum, who thinks it is 'traditional' for the fathers to be the witnesses. I've never heard of this before - none of the weddings I've been to have ever had this, and it just feels a bit odd, since the fathers details are on the form anyway.

Three questions:

1) Can we have more than 2 witnesses? I thought I'd heard somewhere that you can have up to 4? (or have I imagined that?).

2) Does the form now include the mother's details as well? I vaguely recall reading somewhere that this had changed too. I can't find an up-to-date example version of the form to check!

3) If we decide to go ahead with our alternative witnesses, how do I let my Mum down nicely? She's been an absolute star through most of the planning, and I was starting to think we wouldn't have any disagreements about anything! Oh well, it had to end somewhere I suppose.

Thankyou in advance

TBagpuss

The legal requirement is 2 witnesses. It isn't illegal to have extras but it may make it harder to read the certificate as there isn't really space for more, and you should check in advance with your officiant.

There is no specific tradition about who should be the witnesses, except that it is most common to have one witness 'each' as it were, (i.e. one of your friends or family member sand one of your spouse's ) and if you chose to have (say) your mum, it would be normal to have your fiance's mum as well.
Do you have a sibling? IS it possible that your mum is upset that one witness is a member of your fiance's family , but the other is a friend rather than a family member?

I don't think that the form includes the mothers' names. I believe that the government did say they were going to make that change but I don't think it has been done yet.

If you decide to go with your original choice of witnesses, I's suggest that you approach it with your mum by stressing the other key roles which she and your dad have in the ceremony - e.g that your Dad will (if you are going down the traditional route) be 'giving you away' and perhaps making a speech, and the support she is giving (you've told us you apreciate her help - have you said that to her, too?)

System

If there is any sort of tradition then it is normally the best man and chief bridesmaid who are the witnesses, that is one of the original reasons for having them

It is normal for the parents to go through to watch, rather than witness, the signing

carlislelass

!!!!!! wrote: »

If there is any sort of tradition then it is normally the best man and chief bridesmaid who are the witnesses, that is one of the original reasons for having them

It is normal for the parents to go through to watch, rather than witness, the signing

I`ve always known the witnesses as above

Topcat1982

There's space for four, but do people really see this as an honour?

I mean normally it's the best man and MOH, they're up on the alter anyway.

firebird082

Topcat1982 wrote: »

There's space for four, but do people really see this as an honour?

Apparently my Mum does! I suppose I can sort of see where she's coming from, but equally it's my wedding, and the friend I was going to ask to do the deed has been my friend for 30 years!

I guess we'll have a word with the vicar and see what he has to say about it. That's good at least that's it's normal for the parents to be up there at the signing - I don't have a problem with that!

TBagpuss - that's a good point about family, I do have an older brother who will be an Usher. He'd just see it as a chore though, so it seems a waste to ask him!

Good points all round - I'll try and get to the bottom of it all when I see her at the weekend

gettingtheresometime

Well my dad and fil were witnesses on our marriage cert but fil was best man anyway lol.

I thought that the job of witnesses were given to people who didn't really have a role but the happy couple wanted them to have a role (if that makes sense)

Prothet_of_Doom

I always think that the witnesses should be the youngest and fittest. You might want them to be around if the wedding is ever disputed.......has anyone ever actually had to stand in court and say "Yes them 2 were married and I witnessed it" ??????

System

Prothet_of_Doom wrote: »

I always think that the witnesses should be the youngest and fittest. You might want them to be around if the wedding is ever disputed.......has anyone ever actually had to stand in court and say "Yes them 2 were married and I witnessed it" ??????

The signature fulfils that role, as it does in other legal documents such as wills etc

TonyMMM

Legally you must have two witnesses. They can be anyone present at the wedding, so long as they understand the ceremony and the importance of what they are being asked to witness. There is no upper, or lower age limit.

The marriage register can easily accommodate more than two witness signatures- four isn't that uncommon and I have seen more on older certificates.

The change to include the mother's details on a marriage register ( name & occupation) the same as the father's has not yet been put in place.

bcu67

Hello

As an officiant at church weddings I only ever have two witnesses as that is what the space is on the form. Any more and the form would look untidy. No one has ever asked for more.

Still no space for mothers on the marriage form which I think is stupid. It would entail changing all the registers which could be done, even if the registers are not full.

Traditionally the witnesses are one from each side and are usually the fathers, the mothers or best man/chief bridesmaid but lots of people do different things and there are no rules who the witnesses can be (apart from: can hear, sound mind, not drunk and were there) They don't even have to be able to sign their name but just make a mark.

Usually all those who are processing out go to the front at the signing of the register. I do it in church rather than the vestry so that every one can see and it also makes the photographer go quicker. Again everyone does it differently.