Would love to know how much others buddget for gifts each year on their SOA? Help

Debt_Denier

I tried to add it all up and came up with a figure of £150 per month. This was queried so I have tried to justify it to myself here. I am really trying to get to grips with my debts and if people think this is really daft then I would love to know

AnotherJoe wrote: »

Are you seriously spending £150 a month on presents ? Wow. Probably as much as your new boiler. ........... Every year.

I would love to know what other parents/aunts uncles etc do?
I don't really know to be honest and really add it up. 12 times 150 is £1800. Is that really that unrealistic?
Usually I just add this sort of thing into my shopping trolley and not think about it.
Let's see we go to parties of children at school at least 1 per month I have 2 children (so one of them them has a party at least every other month) at e.g £10 per party so = £120 per year. , We have a party for each of our children and even if you just take 6 boys for a game of bowling and a mcdonalds it adds up - certainly no change from £150 so = £300 per year,
We buy them something small I always say I think the party is the present but let's say £40 each = £80
then we have Christmas where I tend to spend about £200 per child = £400,
presents for nieces and nephews overseas - I am careful and I buy small items but the postage adds up I would say at least £15 per child per year and we have 10 nieces and nephews all under 10. I will stop when they get older but = £150
plus a little something each at Christmas = £75 I mean really little
I don't buy for my sisters, brothers etc but my parents e.g for birthday's, mother's day, fathers day = £80
Presents for each other OH and me. We only do this at Christmas for the sake of the children seeing that we buy for each other no more than £20 each for b'day, anniversary, Christmas = £120
Then we have bits and pieces people at work going on maternity leave, teachers at school, the bus driver, childminder, dinner ladies etc at least £80 per year
= £1405
Then postage of all the cards etc as I said above I don't buy presents for my sisters etc but I do send them a card. Even when I bulk buy cheaper cards the post is at least £1.20 per item and that soon adds up with a large family like mine.
I posted Chrsitmas cards this year only to people we wouldn't get to see and who I genuinely do care about (they weren't just sent out of duty/habit) and it cost £30 not including the cards.
Then the odd wedding, christening etc...thankfully we are not really at this stage anymore...these are few and far between now so I haven't added them on here

What do others think?

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Grumpelstiltskin

What you have to do is prepare.


Make a list of what is coming up month by month. Then keep your eyes open for bargains.


Normally supermarkets are among the most expensive for buying presents, look around shops like Home Bargains B & M Wilkinsons and the £1 shops, you never know what you can find.


Cards bulk buy at shops like Card Factory and you don't have to go to places like MacDonalds, they just rip you off. Try and think outside the box and do something different and cheaper.

greensalad

£1800 does seem an awful lot to me, and I give gifts to a lot of people. How many people do you buy for? (Or rather, how many occasions as I know there are some times I don't buy birthday presents but do buy Christmas presents).

I buy for 10 people at Christmas and two people for birthdays. I spend a lot more on my partner and my Mum (around £120 for both Christmas and birthday) and probably £10 - £25 on all the other people (£25 for my grandparents but only £15 for my younger cousins).

If you want to know my rough budgets:

Partners birthday £120
Mums birthday £120
Partners christmas £120
Mums christmas £120
Granny #1 £25
Grandad #1 £5
Granny #2 £25
Grandad #2 £5
Cousins x 3 £15ea (£45)
Partners mum £25
= £610

A few things I picked up on from your OP:

We buy them something small I always say I think the party is the present but let's say £40 each = £80

"Something small" = £40? Wow. £40 seems like a "big" kids present to me. £10 would be something small.

If you do want to get them a gift that big why not do a party at home? 5 kids, sleepover, cook a filling but cheap dinner and do something fun like making your own deserts with crazy toppings/cream/sprinkles. Or bake biscuits and let them decorate them. So much cheaper than bowling + McDonalds.

£15 per child per year and we have 10 nieces and nephews all under 10

This is a very difficult one, that's an awful lot of people to buy for. I would reduce it down to £5-£7 per child. Also do you buy for your brothers/sisters? Unwritten rule in my family is you don't get presents for brothers and sisters when they have their own kids or when they turn 21, whichever is first.

bellaboo86

Thankfully my list of people to buy for is nowhere near as long as yours. However, I work in a school and buy the class a present at Christmas and at the end of they year. I always buy a book as they get more than enough sweets. I use the book people and buy packs of books ( can work out at £1 a book) You could do this and either gift the full pack or split them up. They also do offers for extra money off.
Hope this helps.

Debt_Denier

greensalad wrote: »

£1800 does seem an awful lot to me, and I give gifts to a lot of people. How many people do you buy for? (Or rather, how many occasions as I know there are some times I don't buy birthday presents but do buy Christmas presents).

I buy for 10 people at Christmas and two people for birthdays. I spend a lot more on my partner and my Mum (around £120 for both Christmas and birthday) and probably £10 - £25 on all the other people (£25 for my grandparents but only £15 for my younger cousins).

If you want to know my rough budgets:

Partners birthday £120
Mums birthday £120
Partners christmas £120
Mums christmas £120
Granny #1 £25
Grandad #1 £5
Granny #2 £25
Grandad #2 £5
Cousins x 3 £15ea (£45)
Partners mum £25
= £610

A few things I picked up on from your OP:



"Something small" = £40? Wow. £40 seems like a "big" kids present to me. £10 would be something small.

If you do want to get them a gift that big why not do a party at home? 5 kids, sleepover, cook a filling but cheap dinner and do something fun like making your own deserts with crazy toppings/cream/sprinkles. Or bake biscuits and let them decorate them. So much cheaper than bowling + McDonalds.


This s a very difficult one, that's an awful lot of people to buy for. I would reduce it down to £5-£7 per child. Also do you buy for your brothers/sisters? Unwritten rule in my family is you don't get presents for brothers and sisters when they have their own kids or when they turn 21, whichever is first.

Thanks for the replies. Before I started this SOA thing I would have said I spent about £600 per year on gifts. But when I started to genuinely add it up with postage etc...This is really helpful but I am still not sure where I can really cut down. We have the same rule hence nothing for brothers and sisters. We are a long way off children the nieces and nephews turning 21
I do have a lot of people to buy for. I spend about £10 per niece/nephew in birthday and then about £5 for Christmas. I don't but for anyone else in the family except for my parents/ my children's grandparents we are lucky to still have all 4.

re birthday parties my house is genuinely not big enough to have more than two children for a sleepover. I agree £40 for a small birthday present in addition to a party does seem a lot but what I actually get them is a football shirt and shirts which honestly get worn to death. I would genuinely say they get a football shirt each new season and they then wear it practically every single day for the whole summer and the rest of the year for sports activities. I can wash it out at night dry it on the clothes horse/line and they wear it again the next day. The first time I bought a premier league team kit I was horrified but it is literally their summer wardrobe.

Keep the suggestions coming though please!

HappyMJ

Let me think back...

It averages about £5 per month. I don't specifically budget for it. The money comes out of housekeeping/groceries.

foolofbeans

The annual sum you spend on presents seems exorbitant but actually when you break it down I don't think it is that unreasonable.
When invited to parties I aim to spend £5-£10 but prefer the lower end of that price bracket. I recently bought a present at Argos and it was part of a multibuy deal so got another for £15 for the both of them and they were amazing presents. I usually look around the shops for cheap deals and have a present cupboard. The poundshops do have some decent presents sometimes or mix and match books and coloring stuff for less than a fiver. That saves £60 a year.
DH has a huge family so we spent a lot on birthdays and Christmas. Other family members were struggling and suggested a limit of £10 per birthday and £10 per Christmas. The Christmas £10 was then reduced to £5 the following year and zero the year after. All the children got enough presents anyway so they never noticed the money wasn't coming in and nobody has complained.
The best thing is to talk to your siblings, they may be grateful you suggested reducing or eliminating the gifts. All we do now is transfer £10 to kids bank account or pop it into a card as it saves the hassle of buying a present for £10 that may not even be to the kids liking (and no postage costs). Each child then ends up with about £50 they can spend on whatever they choose or they have a £50 boost to their savings account for the future.
For kids parties you could probably budget £100 each and save £100. Look for bowling deals or use when off-peak and even an adults meal at McD's costs max £5.
Skip the presents to each other or limit to £10. More than enough to buy a book or bunch of flowers.
Limit kids Xmas to £100 each and you save £200 a year. Every parent wants to buy their children everything their heart desires but if you can't afford to then you have to limit it. If you asked for siblings to give cash at birthdays and Christmas your children could have this (or half and save the other) to buy their own presents and they learn to budget themselves.
I bulk buy cards and there's lots of places that do 5 for a £1 now so buy them in advance. Post early so you can use a second class stamp to save there.
I don't really understand the work/dinner lady/teacher spending. You can't afford to be generous and a card would usually suffice. £5 is generous when contributing to a work kitty for somebody.

Hope the above helps and the best advice is to talk to siblings and agree lower limits for presents as really you are all just passing the cost back and forth. Good luck with your budgeting.

cms-help

If you're in debt then £150 a month on presents is very high.

Why not send e-cards to those overseas, that will save the card cost and the postage?

I'm very curious about the misc costs though. How often exactly do people go on maternity leave? We have had two in the last 5 years and one of those was me! Why are you spending so much on teachers, bus drivers, dinner ladies? I am a teacher and we don't expect it. If you feel the need, buy the staff room a box of biscuits at Christmas.

greensalad

Debt_Denier wrote: »

my house is genuinely not big enough to have more than two children for a sleepover

OK there you go. Your sons can have two friends over for a sleepover for their birthdays.

I have to say I find it really shocking how much I hear kids seem to get nowadays. Unless I was just oblivious as a kid. We were neither rich nor poor but I still only had one or maybe a maximum of three friends for parties/birthday outings. I remember most of my birthdays clearly. I heard the other day one of my colleagues is buying her kid a Kindle Fire tablet for her birthday? The kid is 10!

Honestly I don't think you've had your lightbulb moment.

As for if you did want to have more guests, there are so many things to do. Do you have a garden? Get a couple of tents (you should be able to ask the parents of the kids who are attending to help you out), get the kids outside, roast marshmallows round a fire pit and tell ghost stories. You can do that with a reasonably small garden. Or you can book a pitch on a campsite and provide some tins of beans and marshmallows for a lot cheaper.

But really, I think the key is reducing the number of gifts you give.

Give your niblings £5 each pressies for birthdays, and then when it comes to Christmas get them a joint present. For example, my Mum buys her niblings/my cousins a joint present every year. This year they got Mousetrap. Year before they got a cookie jar. Year before that, cinema vouchers. You can really reduce the cost by buying a joint gift.

You have £8000 in debt. Tell your sisters this. Say to them, "sorry, I'm doing a bit of a skint Christmas to help out my financial situation. Things will change soon I hope, I've just got to focus. In a few year's time we'll be in a better place financially and we'll be able to do better gifts." You might not even know it but maybe your sisters are also in debt and maybe it's a bit of a relief for them too. Maybe you'll both do a cheaper Christmas that year and won't feel guilty about it.

midnitegremlin

This is a really interesting thread, as it touches on some other issues. We are, I guess, living in the Age of Debt? People owe £10000s but still live decent lives. Fair Enough.

I am old enough to remember a time when not having money really did mean not having money- if you couldn't afford something, that was that. But then that's changed, and there are social/society pressures to eg buy people gifts.

I dunno, and don't have children so really can't comment. I remember though, I was with a freind and her son (she is majorly in debt, the child is 3) and treated him to stuff toys worth £20, just a random whim buy as they were in the shop. When I was little, if I got treated, it would be a chocolate bar or a comic!

It's good to be thinking about what you spend, but clearly if you are in debt and struggling then it needs to be cut back. That said, looking at your other posts, the OP isn't in a "wolf at the door" type situation, so it's not too unreasonable spending on gufts.

Debt_Denier

midnitegremlin wrote: »

This is a really interesting thread, as it touches on some other issues. We are, I guess, living in the Age of Debt? People owe £10000s but still live decent lives. Fair Enough.

I am old enough to remember a time when not having money really did mean not having money- if you couldn't afford something, that was that. But then that's changed, and there are social/society pressures to eg buy people gifts.

I dunno, and don't have children so really can't comment. I remember though, I was with a freind and her son (she is majorly in debt, the child is 3) and treated him to stuff toys worth £20, just a random whim buy as they were in the shop. When I was little, if I got treated, it would be a chocolate bar or a comic!

It's good to be thinking about what you spend, but clearly if you are in debt and struggling then it needs to be cut back. That said, looking at your other posts, the OP isn't in a "wolf at the door" type situation, so it's not too unreasonable spending on gufts.

I just want to say a genuine thank you to everyone who has replied. I was horrified when I toted it up. I genuinely never once thought about the cards, gifts etc during the year I only ever though about Christmas and the 2 birthday parties. I think I have had a real wake up call. Maybe not a LBM yet. But I am trying.
We aren't in a wolf at the door situation but I grew up like that (maybe that's a red warning triangle) and I never ever want to me there with my children. I think the suggestions have been really helpful. I have spoken to a few mums this morning about sharing parties etc and I think we will do that this year. That should save money.