Bring Forward or Put Back?

Darksparkle

Just looking for a few opinions.

Wedding currently booked for June 2017.

However we have just found out I am pregnant (most likely already over 20 weeks!) :shocked:

Going for private scan tomorrow to find out more as GP said could take a couple of weeks to get an appointment with a midwife.

I would rather be married before baby comes so want to bring it forward but OH worried that I'd regret having a smaller wedding and thinks we should wait until summer 2018.

We couldn't afford it now in 2017 as looking to buy a home, future childcare etc.

What do you think?

Also any ideas for a small wedding would be great. Original plan was hotel booked and day time about 80 and another 100 at night. Both come from big families.

Parents, grandparents and siblings are about 25 alone.

Thanks!

Sleepy_Hollow

Congratulations!

If I were in the same boat as you I think I'd move it forward and have a small wedding (but saying that I am having a small wedding anyway).

Once the little one arrives you will probably find that you have other priorities for your money and that you may push the wedding further back anyway.

I think it depends on whether by bringing it forward you'll have enough time to get everything sorted without getting too stressed out, and that you'll have enough money to afford it and still put money aside to cater for your new arrival.

Maybe you need to write up a list of pros and cons for a pre and post baby wedding?

Darksparkle

Sleepy_Hollow wrote: »

Congratulations!

If I were in the same boat as you I think I'd move it forward and have a small wedding (but saying that I am having a small wedding anyway).

Once the little one arrives you will probably find that you have other priorities for your money and that you may push the wedding further back anyway.

I think it depends on whether by bringing it forward you'll have enough time to get everything sorted without getting too stressed out, and that you'll have enough money to afford it and still put money aside to cater for your new arrival.

Maybe you need to write up a list of pros and cons for a pre and post baby wedding?

Thank you!

Bringing it forward is definitely what I want to do. Being married is more important to me than the day itself. I'd do it tomorrow if I could.

My mum would help make plans etc so hopefully could manage it. Really will depend on due date.

I agree about after baby is born, that's what I was trying to point out to OH. This baby wasn't planned (but in no way unwanted). We've no idea what might happen in future and I don't want to keep putting off.

firebird082

More congratulations here! I had considered what I would do in your situation, and I would bring it forward. Your other half is obviously putting your feelings first, and reminding you what you had originally planned, but now things have changed. Agree with the above poster, write down all the considerations for both, and then go for what you want. At least that way you'll know that you've considered every angle and made the right decision for you guys at this time

Edit: If you do decide to go for it before baby, work out who the really important people are (you may not need to reduce numbers, but an evening party may be less appealing depending on how far along you are the time of the wedding).

lika_86

If you don't get married then have a think about how much it might cost you to sort out legals to ensure that you're both ok if something happens to the other or if something happened to both of you. This alone might cost a few hundred pounds so is worth factoring into your decision.

Personally I'd book a private dining room in a hotel or restaurant and just have a slap up meal after a nice quiet ceremony just for the close family. If you're having a baby it's the legal stuff that's important, not all the hoopla.

Anatidaephobia

Darksparkle wrote: »

Bringing it forward is definitely what I want to do. Being married is more important to me than the day itself. I'd do it tomorrow if I could.

You already know what you want so you should bring it forward.

On the subject of your OH's concerns about a smaller wedding, you might find that you'd end up having a smaller wedding anyway. By 2018, your priorities are going to be completely different so the amount you are willing to spend on a wedding is likely to have changed. If you're going to end up having a smaller wedding regardless then might as well do it now.

Oh, and congratulations

ERICS_MUM

A big wedding will be completely dwarfed by the utter excitement of having a baby so might as well have just a small wedding ASAP without a lot of expense. Once baby starts growing, you'll need very penny that would have gone into the wedding !

Congratulations. Xx

Darksparkle

Thanks everyone. Hopefully after the scan tonight and we know dates, we'll have a better idea of time etc to be able to decide.

We're also trying to look for a house and I'm in the middle of exams for work so everything happening at once. All I want to do is sleep!

I'm hoping that the hotel we originally booked would let us move our deposit to an earlier date and then we could have a small wedding and meal there then a party type thing elsewhere. There's a place a lot of my family use for functions that I know is fairly cheap. Hotel don't seem to want to budge though.

OH is still very against bringing it forward, he thinks it will be too much stress etc. Tried to explain to him that it's being married that's important to me, not how big it is. I can understand it from his side too though.