In a mess and ashamed

kendall17

Yeah you're in a mess but its a mess that can be sorted.

Glad you contacted StepChange. What was the outcome there?

The solicitor you're paying £100p/m for - is this an ongoing case or one that has been settled?
Agreed with satellite TV - freeview? Landline/internet - any better deals out there? My TV, broadband & landline is £37.50 a month on a basic package with Sky.

foolofbeans

You have child related expenses at £550 per month. Is this child maintenance? As you mention shared care I assume you have the children at least one night a week. If so, your maintenance contribution on gross income of £31,000 would be £82.
While I understand and commend anyone that pays over and above the bare minimum of child maintenance you are unable to afford to do so and I am assuming you still have to pay for the children to stay with you (including the extra cost of a bigger rental property).

ViolaLass

foolofbeans wrote: »

You have child related expenses at £550 per month. Is this child maintenance? As you mention shared care I assume you have the children at least one night a week. If so, your maintenance contribution on gross income of £31,000 would be £82.
While I understand and commend anyone that pays over and above the bare minimum of child maintenance you are unable to afford to do so and I am assuming you still have to pay for the children to stay with you (including the extra cost of a bigger rental property).

I agree with this. I think your child-related costs (maintenance, food, haircuts, all of it) could be reduced but without knowing how much you have them to stay, we can't say where.

Muhren

I haven't really ot any advice as such but I just wanted to offer my support as I too suffer with depression. Although mine is under control at the moment I know how you must feel but things can and will get better for you, I know that it might not feel like it right now but there is little at the end of the tunnel.

You have done the right thing contacting Stepchange as they will be able to advise you on your situation. Try and keep your chin up and keep posting here as there are some very knowledgable and helpful people here. If nothing else it is a good place to vent your frustrations and get things off your chest.

All the best in getting your life and finances back in order.

JaJaNeo

With regards to maintenance, for a year before I left and when I left I was working 5 long days to try and earn extra to pay off the debt and then to support my new place and him after the separation, so the figure is based on my earnings when I was doing extra, that was making me ill and had to stop doing the extra day, but child maintenance won't review the amount I pay as it hasn't reduced by 25%, it has reduced by just under that thought! Grrrr, I'm waiting for the review of that which should be in April and hopefully it will change. I have them average 1-2 nights per week but hoping this will increase to 2-3 nights per week average soon, so I'm a bit screwed with this payment for now. Step change has suggested. DMP so Waiting that to come through and will sort that

The solicitor is a standing order, as she is acting on my behalf regarding a court order for access and then for the divorce eventually

Sky is next on my agenda to see if I can negotiate anything, I've been a loyal customer for 16 yrs so time to see what they can do

Nargleblast

Good to see you have started on the road to sorting things out. It will take a while but you will get there, and you will look back and see how you survived.

If you start a Debt Management Plan there is a DMP Mutual Support thread you can join. Also look on the Old Style Moneysaving forum for threads on how to live well on less income.

JaJaNeo

Violalass my gross income is £40000 but due to a tax !!!! up on their part I'm repaying an underpayment in tax of £2500 which is not taken into consideration, and the payment is based on when I was working 5 long days where I earned an extra £9000 in overtime, I'm now now longer doing that and back to the original gross of £40000 and I'm currently off sick and just found out from 31st Jan I'm then on half pay and SSP, great, down even more, looks like I'm forced back to work at the end of February then ��

midnitegremlin

sourcrates wrote: »

I would recommend you get in touch with stepchange, they are a national debt charity, who will be able to organise some kind of solution to this for you, they are free to use, and are impartial, lots of people on this forum have them to thank for helping them out of a rut.


http://www.stepchange.org/


Have a look on there website, see what solutions they recommend for you.

Thats basically a suitable reply for like 95% of the posts on here.

fatbelly

This looks like a dmp situation, probably with regular reviews as the situation changes.

If any creditors get aggressive or your surplus plunges to zero, then there are insolvency options and you are close to being eligible for a DRO

Sazzie23

Hi

I just wanted to say I thought it was the end of the world when I couldn't pay by debts and my relationship broke down, but it wasn't and I've survived thanks to Stepchange, their system is not perfect, but it's a great place to start and will get you going until you can get your head round things again.

Facing debt is really confronting, as I think you found with SOA but often the first step is the hardest, and the rest follows smoothly so keep going.
And good luck.