How hard do you find it, being a vegetarian?

Ben84

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I think that's awful behaviour:eek:

Thankfully - I've never been on the receiving end of such bad behaviour. If I was then I wouldnt be sure which reason rated highest on the list as to why I would literally get up and walk out on the spot - I'd have a whole list of reasons why I no longer wanted to know them in my head (the fact they were selfish, a liar, lazy, ignorant). I would work out the details as to which was the top of my list of reasons for not bothering with them any longer five minutes after I'd already got up from the table and was the other side of their front door.

Perhaps the reason for that is that, in my home area, it is very much the way of thinking to "not go there again" if individual needs/wishes arent catered for appropriately? and we do tend to "walk" (if sometimes after the event)....

It is a shoddy way to carry on. It is also harder to tackle when it's your partner's mother though. Still, second time she did it I had a defensible reason to not go around there any more unless really needed, which, frankly I was so glad to have. She was a very emotionally draining person to spend any time with, nothing but moaning and slagging people off. A helpful friend once asked me to say something nice about her in the hopes of finding a glimmer of positivity. I managed to say this - the universe is infinite and she can only be in one place at one time. To be honest, after so long being nice and getting meanness in return, my politeness wore off in time. I really enjoyed the look on her face when she moaned the council would probably 'move some lazy single mother' in to her house when she died (there were some words she used I probably can't post here), and I said "if they had any sense they'd demolish it and remove ten foot of top soil to detox the leached in bitterness." No idea why I said that, it was one of those moments when you say what you're thinking and realise afterwards. She made this wonderful, sort of coughing frog noise and everyone pretended it hadn't been said while trying not to laugh. They needn't have repressed it, she probably didn't know what laughter sounded like anyway.

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth

Ben84 wrote: »

Between this and your other couple of posts I saw in the thread, you seem to have an axe to grind.

I can swing either way. What gets my goat, as I explained is that we have a renown organic caf!, that sells vegan foods, that I frequent and eat, that my BiL cannot go in there because it also sells red meat!

Nor can he have tomato bolognaise cooked at home, with tinned tomato, mushrooms and kidney beans. Just sits there and looks blankly at the food presented, because I refuse to fry the mushrooms in an emulsion solution. Why should I now go out of the way to satisfy the fact that he is not a true vegan, but cannot eat at the table, where others I work with can. And I have eaten with more vigorous ones than my BiL. That is why I say IT RESTRICT HIS LIFESTYLE

Not a gripe!

Ben84

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth wrote: »

I can swing either way. What gets my goat, as I explained is that we have a renown organic caf!, that sells vegan foods, that I frequent and eat, that my BiL cannot go in there because it also sells red meat!

Nor can he have tomato bolognaise cooked at home, with tinned tomato, mushrooms and kidney beans. Just sits there and looks blankly at the food presented, because I refuse to fry the mushrooms in an emulsion solution. Why should I now go out of the way to satisfy the fact that he is not a true vegan, but cannot eat at the table, where others I work with can. And I have eaten with more vigorous ones than my BiL. That is why I say IT RESTRICT HIS LIFESTYLE

Not a gripe!

I think I better see what you mean now - although I got a bit unclear about the 'emulsion solution'? Anyway, I think it best to work things out before you reach the point where it's awkward. I just give visitors a list of what will be going in the food when I invite them over and see what they say. In extreme cases I'll cook something my way and something for them, but usually find a compromise between the two in one thing.

BrassicWoman

Blackbeard_of_Perranporth wrote: »

Nor can he have tomato bolognaise cooked at home, with tinned tomato, mushrooms and kidney beans. Just sits there and looks blankly at the food presented, because I refuse to fry the mushrooms in an emulsion solution.

Do you mean you only cook in butter and therefore he won't eat it?

If he is vegan for ethical reasons, his abstinence seems fair enough to me.

NewShadow

I think there is a general thing - be you carn/omn/veg-iverous

If your diet is one of exclusion - meaning you will not or cannot eat what will be cooked due to ingredient or cooking method (or apparently proximity of other ingredient?) - you have some personal responsibility to arrange an alternative.

That could mean bringing and cooking your own, it could mean getting in touch in advance to discuss alternatives, or bringing a pack-up.

Complaining your host is being unreasonable when you are demonstrating no personal responsibility for meeting your own needs just reflects a sense of entitlement that seems unfortunately prevalent in our society.

moneyistooshorttomention

When I am in "host" role - I take the personal responsibility to do my duty as a good host by asking my guest-to-be if there is anything they can't or won't eat.

Very often there will be something or other that I need to avoid using in the meal (be it because of their decisions as to what to not eat/things they dont like/things they are allergic to) and I duly do so and make sure the food is suitable for them.

They don't have to tell me in advance - it's my responsibility to ask is how I see it.

So - it's fair enough to expect the same treatment back in reverse (ie the host asking me what I cant/wont eat). I do go one step further personally as a guest to what I expect my own guests to do - and will say, in advance, "BTW I dont eat meat". If it's a pub or restaurant - then I just turn up (ie the same as everyone else) and expect choice (the same as everyone else has). Its the 21st century now - and if a pub/restaurant wants to be stuck in the mid-20th century and not cater then they have the right to go out of business by not catering appropriately:). In 2016 I expect to see it indicated on the menu as to "vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free" on restaurant/pub menus.

Doom_and_Gloom

I don't find it hard to be vegan. It's a lot easier than it was when I first went vegan over a decade ago. More choice in general and better labelling too.

I slipped up years ago as honey had been added to some houmous I used to get. My partner got it for me and didn't check the label. First taste and I spat it back out, it was horrid. My partner couldn't believe how easily I tasted the difference. Partner doesn't eat houmous so was chucked. Since that I always get him to check lables and I always read before buying and have been known to re-read before eating just for good measure.
Home made food from non processed ingredients is more prevalent at ours.
When I go out I always take food with me.

Went to a friends parents wedding anniversary party not long ago. I took food even though I was told food would be provided. I was served separately and yes it was perfectly vegan. However I only had 1 plate of food vs the buffet for everyone else so not very good in that sense:beer:. I was very glad that I took a large selection of vegan snakage food.
We rarely eat out and when we do it's usually to veggie/vegan places so it's easy. However sometimes we go places with other people to places that don't cater exclusively to veggies/vegans. I usually get a plain baked potato with salad and/or beans at those places as that is usually all they have that is vegan. It aggregates me paying soo much for such a meal.

JIL

I don't eat meat and it annoyed me that when I was at the in-laws for dinner I was not catered for. But this was only for the simple reason that if they were at my house I was reminded at every opportunity than one of them did not eat red meat and could I cook them some chicken if was doing beef or lamb?
I don't really mind if I am not catered for, I chose to be different so I can get by on veg and other bits most of the time.

moneyistooshorttomention

JIL wrote: »

I don't eat meat and it annoyed me that when I was at the in-laws for dinner I was not catered for. But this was only for the simple reason that if they were at my house I was reminded at every opportunity than one of them did not eat red meat and could I cook them some chicken if was doing beef or lamb?
I don't really mind if I am not catered for, I chose to be different so I can get by on veg and other bits most of the time.

They were trying to have it both ways there! That being - you must cater for them - but they werent prepared to cater for you.:eek:

That's hardly very fair of them....

I admit I would have told them straight "Sorry - its not fair to expect non meat-eaters to do something as gory as cooking meat. Anyway - you won't do MY food - so why would I do YOUR food?".