Advice giving advice

Cazharfeatures

Hi, wasn't quite sure where to post this.

My sis in law has confided in me that they are currently overdrawn on their overdraft and her partner doesn't get paid until 15th. I asked if she's ok for food and she told me that she has,a bit on her CC to do internet food shop. They're a family of 5, youngest is 2 1/2. I want to help but like a lot of people we're worried about money stretching to the end of the month ourselves. I thought about a food parcel and asking other family members to contribute but I know she will not be happy about me telling others about her plight. What are her options? She does work too but only as a part time nurse, so money not great. Sometimes she works to early hours has,4 hours sleep then gets up for the kids. So please don't judge.

HappyMJ

Cazharfeatures wrote: »

Hi, wasn't quite sure where to post this.

My sis in law has confided in me that they are currently overdrawn on their overdraft and her partner doesn't get paid until 15th. I asked if she's ok for food and she told me that she has,a bit on her CC to do internet food shop. They're a family of 5, youngest is 2 1/2. I want to help but like a lot of people we're worried about money stretching to the end of the month ourselves. I thought about a food parcel and asking other family members to contribute but I know she will not be happy about me telling others about her plight. What are her options? She does work too but only as a part time nurse, so money not great. Sometimes she works to early hours has,4 hours sleep then gets up for the kids. So please don't judge.

Don't mention anything to anyone else ever. You'll lose a friend over it. She might be your sister-in-law but she doesn't have to talk to you. Some people just do not want others to know they've run into a bit of a cashflow problem. Advise her to look at what expenses are coming up and think about deferring payment. Council tax can be paid late this month as long as it's paid in full when the pay comes through they'll hold off on court action. Any direct debit for water can be cancelled and sorted out later. They cannot cut you off. I would cancel the TV licence (and get a refund on unused quarters) as well and stop watching TV of course...DVD's will have to suffice for the short term.

Her partner...is that your brother? What's he doing to help?

They have access to money on the credit card so they'll be fine. They won't be entitled to a food parcel. Food parcel's are for people/families who really cannot get any money whatsoever from any source including borrowing it on a credit card. Although many do take advantage by saying they have no credit to be eligible for one. I wouldn't.

When are the tax credits due to be paid? When is child benefit due to be paid?

La_escocesa

Hi Caz,

Happy MJ's has given sound advice there.

When we were in a similar situation the best thing that anyone ever did was a food shop for us. I know you said you were thinking about your ends meeting this month but even if you could cook them up a big lasagne or chilli or something I bet they would really appreciate it, or have them round for dinner and have so much left over that they'll just 'have' to take some home.

Sometimes if people have never had money problems before they won't think about the other ways to make money - e.g. if they have an old watch lying around they could get £100 perhaps, sell off old furniture/clothes.

HTH

dancingfairy

Most immediate is obviously food and any money needed to get to / from work such as petrol or bus money. Most other things can probably wait until after payday.
January is a difficut month for a lot of people. Maybe in a few weeks you can suggest trying to put aside a bit each month for Christmas?
You could also mention someone at work who's used national debtline, your local cab or stepchsnge and how helpful they are and suggest if she's in a pickle and rings one of the charities?
Df

CalumHeath

The advice so far, as ever, has been great. I'd like to add a little further:

Has your sister in law actually asked for help in some way? Has she asked to borrow money? She may just be confiding in you to unburden herself.

You should definitely respect her her wishes and not discuss it with the rest of the family. If she's asked you to keep it to yourself, then do just that until she says otherwise - it is only two weeks away afterall.

If you decide to lend money don't lend anymore you can afford to do without. I know you say she's holding out until she/they get paid on the 15th and the January pay day seems like it occurs months after the December one but Christmas does occur on the same date every year; the money troubles she is discussing now could be the sign of something more regular and a bigger budgeting problem generally.

All things considered your options are limited without involving more people - which I stress you must only do at her request. Invite them round for tea as many times as you can stretch to between now and pay day, that way you help them out stealthily.