Invite Heartache

UnderAnotherName

Hi guys
First time poster,long time lurker.

Wonder if anyone coud help me out.

Getting married in just over two weeks and everything sorted and ready to go.
Recieved a phone call this afternoon from a guest regarding a mutual friend who was upset they had not been invited to the wedding.
I admit we did forget about them until it was too late-I've no contact number for them and haven't interracted nor in fact seen any trace of them on twitter for months and this was generally how we genarated our list (once we'd got obv family and friends down)

Once I'd realised my eror I thought long and hard and decided not to send a late invite-it's only 2 weeks after Christmas and she has a wee girl,I didn't want her to feel pressure to spend extra money.plus her brother gets married about a month after me so I kinda assumed she was hate the thouht of an extra wedding....I know I woud!!

Anyway what shoud I do?I'm trying to write down an explannation on messengar but it sounds fake-I can't put the words together right.

I didn't mean to hurt her feelings ,I spose I shoud have contacted earlier to explain,rather than presuming she woudnt wanna go but it's too late now.

No dout you are all sleeping sound waiting on tomooro but this has made me feel so sick with gilt all day.

Hope someone can help thanksx

7roland8

Well looks like it's keeping you awake.

How much of a friend is she, or is it just a friend of a friend?

Just because you don't hear from someone for a while doesn't mean they arnt a friend and life does go on outside Twitter.

It doesn't look as if you made an effort to contact her and as you forgot about her she's either not much of a friend, or you arnt.

As you don't want to do a patient's you might as well tell her what you have told us. It does sound a bit lame and it would have been nice for her to make the decision if it was too much to attend.

But if a friend had forgotten about me I would realise where I stood with them.

No point in worrying over what's happened.

Get in touch, put it behind you and enjoy the wedding.

7roland8

Patients should read, late invite!

Mojisola

UnderAnotherName wrote: »

Recieved a phone call this afternoon from a guest regarding a mutual friend who was upset they had not been invited to the wedding.

I admit we did forget about them until it was too late

I can't think of anything you can say that won't make things worse.

If you haven't contacted other people to explain why they aren't invited (which would be weird), I wouldn't explain to this friend either.

She must know that not everyone can be invited to weddings.

lika_86

If you don't have a contact number for them, how much of a friend are they? Also, if this friend is that upset about it then they should raise it with you, not with a mutual friend. Unless they do get in touch directly then you shouldn't feel you have to explain yourself.

UnderAnotherName

Thank you all for takin the time to reply.

In responce to the questions,
We were good frends many years ago, when we both worked together,tho we were introduced by this mutual friend. But our lives took different paths, I moved to Manchester for a few years and she went to Australia. I haven't physicaly spoken to her in quite a while,probably last time was another friends wedding over a year ago.

I have had it on my mind all day. We are only having a small wedding, approx 70 people and I'm dreading if an atmospheere is created if she has mentioned this to anyone else.

I think I will just send her a message explaining, as you have said, I can't make it much worse.

Thanks again to everyone, it has actualy felt a little better to just put it down on screen.

Torry_Quine

Maybe it's just me but it seems strange that someone you have no contact details for would even think that they would be close enough to invite

UnderAnotherName

I think it's possibly because we are part of a larger group,about 9 or 10, that worked together and became quite close and some of the group still sees each other regularly.
Now out of this group, four are invited to the wedding;2 I see every week, one I see about once every 2/3 months and the fourth lives in America but I speak to regulaly.

This uninvited girl probably would be in close contact with more of this group than I woud be so unless maybe she has assumed everyone would be invited,like they all were at the previous wedding I mentiened.

I've assembled a reply of sorts,I'm going to get tomorrow over me and then send it on Sunday.Don't want this hanging over me for the next 2 weeks!

7roland8

Well people do drift apart over the years. I would just say to anyone who mentions it that you arnt really in contact any more. As my friend used to say, never apologize and never explain.

Mojisola

UnderAnotherName wrote: »

I think I will just send her a message explaining, as you have said, I can't make it much worse.

I think it could get a lot worse if you reply!

74jax

I would something like...

Hope you had a lovely Christmas. I was speakimg to a friend who mentioned you were upset at not being invited to our wedding. I'm sorry, we have limited numbers and have invited close friends and family only. If only we had won that big lottery win. How are you? Is work still ok blah blah. Have a great new year.