* It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year * - It's the 2016 Christmas Chatter Thread

mandco

nic2075 wrote: »

Evening,

I was having a good day until bath time. My 9 year old seems to be getting more and more angrier. He wouldn't go for a bath or shower. Then just got angry and starts shaking and just fighting against me. Today he was playing Minecraft and laughing and shouting that he was murdering polar bears. I sat and watched and it actually stabs them with a knife and they run around on fire until they die. I thought the game was pretty safe :-( I don't let him play games aimed at 15 yrs + etc, so I thought I was doing ok. But he just seem so happy at the violalance. I'm so worried about his behaviour. He is very smart and knowledgable, but he doesn't tolerate anyone annoying him with noises or singing etc. So he is constantly bickering with his sisters. He has no Interest in any sports or playing outdoors. He goes to guitar lessons and that's his only hobby. Apart from gaming. But I limit that to 1hr after school. But he does sit with a tablet when his sisters are at dance class. I have now banned all electronic devices for 1 month to see if it helps his behaviour.
Sorry for the long waffle. But he is getting to me and I worry I love the girls more as they are nicer and I'm worried he will grow up a pyscopath :-(

Nic honestly his behaviour seems pretty normal Ds is very similar I noticed it started about the same time as other changes not sure if its the hormones maybe but he can be a nightmare somedays I feel like all I do is nag/argue with him. I do think that some of the games even aimed at younger kids make violence seems far too acceptable/fun so the fact that he enjoys them doesn't mean there is anything wrong.
I have days when I do prefer one kid over another and even days when I really don't like one or another of them for some reason usually behaviour related doesn't make you a bad parent or mean you love one more than the other it just means your human. One thing I've always done with mine is to tell them that its ok to be angry at times but certain behaviour is unacceptable and while I might not like them very much at the time I still love them.
Have you had a talk with his teachers? Maybe see if you can have a chat and just say that you've notice a change in his behaviour at home and wondered how he's been at school.

Peppapig

Just a quick post. NIC I don't have any advice for you but I understand how worried you must be. I think these days we're all so much more aware of how some adult behaviours are rooted in childhood that it can make us question everything. I think MANDCO's suggestion about talking to his teachers is a good one and so is cutting access to electronic devices for a while. It's nowhere near the same but when my DDs were that age I definitely noticed that their attitudes were getting worse and I was sure it was because of the way the younger ones behaved on Eastenders (it had just started in those days). I stopped them watching it and there was a marked improvement really quickly. I do hope things improve soon and you can put your mind at rest. Sending you hugs.

DomRavioli

Hi NIC,

Just a teeny tiny bit of advice - sounds like aggression, not anger, and that's usually stemming from anxiety - I've had clinically diagnosed anxiety for the last 25 years (I'm 31) and although I don't personally have aggression (I've always held it all in), I've seen a lot of people with the same diagnosis with some serious aggression issues. It may not be, but anxiety manifests in a lot of ways. I'd have a trip to the GP to be safe, as the earlier it is treated and diagnosed (whatever it is), the better the outcome. It might just be one of those stages they go through, but better safe than spending years in therapy.

...

I bought a lovely blanket for my nan today off amazon which heats up (she's usually a nightmare to buy for), so that's her done. Only the OH to buy for.
I'm struggling with my own christmas list. I've got everything I want, don't wear make up, have enough perfume to start my own shop, and apart from buying Hotel Chocolat, I'm stuck! My only hobby outside of work and volunteering is computer gaming (specifically nintendo), I already get a lootcrate (12 month sub from my birthday), I have every console going back to NES, and every figure, tee shirt and accessory known to man - I'm a LoZ fan. The next console isnt due out until next year so nothing new has come out since my birthday. I feel I'm being super awkward! I got a gorgeous K-Mix last year, which I have used twice.

princesskitty29

I have finally managed to catch up, my head hurts now! I’m afraid there was too much for me to comment on so sending hugs to those who need them at the moment. There was so much to read that I think I went a little crazy, I thought I read Peppa saying ‘The gloves are off PLUMDUFF’ and I thought DomRavioli had written ‘I bought my naughty nan…..’!!!! Even when writing this post I wrote ‘I have finally managed to grow up’ rather than ‘catch up’! Oh deary me.

I loved all of the September snow challenges – lovely and so creative! Well done to you all. I’m afraid I can’t join in with these challenges at the moment as I have my own projects I need to get done, but hopefully I can in the new year if it carries on.

murie thanks for asking, we’re not packed up as DH is insisting the removers pack us, we treated ourselves to this last time as we had a long distance move and it was less to worry about and said we’d do it ourselves this time as we’re only moving down the road, but now it’s come to it DH wants the same service again! I was quite happy to do it myself this time as I don't think we really need to be spending money on that but once DH gets an idea in his head it's not worth persuading him otherwise. I’ve left him to do the budgeting!

vulpix yes I am feeling much more settled in our new area now, thank you for asking. I have made a lovely group of friends much quicker than I thought I would so that’s been fantastic and made all of the difference. We’ve even started a little bake off where one of us bakes a cake each week so what could be better – new friends and lots of cake to eat!

vulpix

Pk 29 That sounds lovely.I wouldn't mind making friends like that myself.x

Nic,I think you have had some good advice already.I had similar with my son but when he was about 16 and more difficult to ban games.His sister and I noticed that he was surley and rude when he was playing a lot.He grew out of it and at 25 is no longer surley or rude or spends much time on computer games!So there is hope! I too still prefer the company of certain children for certain times.Son is funny and witty,DD1 practical and helpful,DD2 just so eager to please,and they all at times have completely hacked me off.

As long as he has friends at school and can interact correctly with people I don't think it is a massive problem at the moment.I notice that when i read a book it affects me for a couple of days,so I suppose it's similar for gamers but more intense.

Vx

nic2075

Thank you for all the advice. I feel a lot better reading it and knowing others have been through similar. He is very polite and always get comments from other parents on hiw well he behaves and how polite he is. He is confident but not precocious.
It is just the way he turns so quickly and his glee at killing virtual animals. Apart from bickering with his sister and the odd hit out between them, he never hits others.
I have spoken to his teachers recently at parents night and apart from the fact he hates sitting writing long stories, he is really well behaved and funny.
Ive taken the x box and his tablet away from him for a while. So I'll see if it helps. When I talk to him about why he feels like that, he says people just wind him up. I guess he just doesn't know how to deal with these feelings. He is very stubborn. I just worry I go about things the wrong way and wil make him worse.


Today we are going to a couple of garden centres to look at theor christmas decorations. We went to one yesterday and the girls loved it. So today I'm taking them up to Glasgow to a big one that has a great selection and a great park for them to play in for a while. It looks like it's a lovely day.

System

Just had an interesting conversation with my DD , she commented that she couldnt do division and its not like she needs it any way. So i said sometimes you do need it if you had a cake and wanted to share it with someone you would need to half it , her answer was it wouldnt matter how she cut it as she would have half now then half later as theres no way she would be sharing any cake with anyone !
You win some you lose some !

We have decided to go for her laptop on Thursday which would make us officially finished presents/sweets and booze [ the whole 2 bottles we drink over the whole period]
This is early even for me im so chuffed.

MoneyMission2015

I hope everybody had a nice weekend. I made a chocolate cake in the slow cooker yesterday and it was a success! It was a bit like a brownie, chewy on the ends, gooey in the middle. I don't normally like chocolate cake, or any chocolate dessert really, but this one was really good even if I do say so myself :j


PrincessKitty - Nice to hear from you. I know what you mean about catching up. I was away for 2 weeks and just couldn't keep up with the thread as it's moving so quickly now! I hope the move goes well. I remember when we moved from our first house into the house we're in now & it was so stressful packing and moving everything as we did it ourselves, so having somebody do it for you sounds ideal . I love the bake off idea with your friends, I'd love to do that but none of my close friends particularly like baking and I know my best friend can barely even cook, let alone bake a cake!


Nic - I definitely think the electronic devices have an impact sometimes. Our 8 year old daughter can be a right stroppy madam at times and I notice it seems worse if she spends a lot of time on her ipad, so I try to restrict it now. She spent a lot of time colouring and doing some cross stitch yesterday and she was the happy little girl that we know she is.


DomR - I'm the same, my OH always tells me I need to give him a list because his family ask for ideas but I can never think of anything. For the past 2 years I've just ended up with a new bag even though I don't need one, because I couldn't think of anything else. I did have a list of books last year that I wanted, which I did receive but I haven't had chance to read them all so I can't really ask for anymore because we're currently trying to minimise the clutter around the house. Last night I did think to myself that maybe I'll ask for a nice fluffy robe this year, but then I also like the idea of the waffle robes that you sometimes get in hotels so I'll see if I can find any decent ones.


Vulpix - I'd love to make my own candles, maybe I'll give it a go as your gift ideas sound very cute.


GTQ - I managed to pick up some Quality Street and Celebrations a few weeks ago when Tesco were doing 2 tubs for £5. I'm glad I managed to catch the offer because it does annoy me when they are selling them for £5 or £6 each when they can clearly make a profit even at the lower cost. I bought 4 tubs altogether (a mixture of the above) and my OH has now banned me from buying any more chocolate for Christmas as our treat cupboard is almost full :rotfl:. However, he has forgotten we need chocolate oranges and mint matchmakers so he will have to allow me a few more purchases between now and Christmas.


Free - we bought some Halloween decorations on the weekend. We don't really do a lot for Halloween. For the past few years we've been invited to a friends house so the kids can go trick or treating together, but this year we'd like to stay home so I think we'll invite them to ours for a change. I think this year is the first year since our youngest started school that Halloween is on a school day. In the past it has fallen either on a weekend or during the half term holiday, but this year they actually go back to school on 31st October.


I've still been collecting stuff for my daughter's pink hampers. As they are both different ages with a 6 year age gap some items will be different but some of the stuff I have so far are:


Barbie colouring book
Barbie DVD
Candle
Bath bombs
Zoella bath products
Hair bobbles
Lip gloss and cheek stain
Pink milkshake bottle (the ones from Home Bargains that have a straw in the top, they currently have green ones and love them)


I'm also planning to get them both pyjama's, slippers and a hat & scarf or snood plus I was looking on A Quarter Of at all of the pink sweets, so will order them closer to the time and get a little glass jar for them to have their own pick and mix.


I was telling my sister about it and she loved the idea so I asked if she would like me to do one for my niece, or if she would like to do it herself. She was happy for me to do it so she's told me her favorite colour (blue) and I'm going to start getting similar items as the above list but in blue and purple (just to mix it up a little bit).


I've ordered a few more things for Christmas and also went through my Christmas stash on the weekend and have worked out that I have finished 2 people and there are 2 other people that I have more or less done, but would like to get them a little something else.

Peppapig

Thank you for the Works email code CHRISSEY, it made me go onto the website and I've completed another three Christmas pressies and got discount. I also love your DD's approach to cake sharing (or not)


VULPIX you've reminded me that I've got a candle making kit in the cupboard so I'll get it out and give it a try. I really want to do it I just never seem to get around to it. I've got some lovely vintage cups so I'll use them.

PRINCESSKITTY how does it work when your removal people pack you up? Do you just leave everything as it is and they do it all or do you do things yourself as well. We're planning to move in the next year or so to get somewhere lower maintenance and more energy efficient than the Victorian house we have now and it sounds a very appealing proposition not to have lack everything up.

MONEYMISSION how about pink smarties for the pink hamper and blue ones for the blue hamper. I know the big tubes of the pink ones are £1 in the supermarkets.


Had bloods this morning so fingers crossed for chemo tomorrow. They've said that I can defer the next one by a week which means I'll be free for the two days in half term week that I'm having DGD. I know she doesn't like seeing me with my pump (she knows it as my medicine bottle) that I have to wear for two days after chemo and I don't think waiting another week will make much difference to the treatment. I had to laugh because DGD was telling people at school 'I can't stay at my nannie's as much as usual because she has to have her medicine bottle'. I just have this image of them picturing me as a drunkard who swigs her 'medicine' all day! :rotfl:

Pressie buying is going really well but I still haven't started my stocking challenge - I need to get a wriggle on!

mrs-moneypenny

Just done a list of people I need to buy/wrap for to take over my mums at halfterm. I have Christmas and 3 birthdays to do. So will be a fair bit out of the stash boxes.

Hugs to all who need them I know health problems of your own and loved ones are making this difficult for lot.

Welcome to all the ne people who have joined the thread now Christmas is getting closer.

Right I'm going for a forage in the attic to see what I've already got.