Another interesting debt conversation!

chester81

Had a lovely meal out tonight with two of our friends that we only see a couple of times a year. The conversation got onto Christmas spending and general money stuff ( not my choice of conversation - I try to avoid any money talk!!). They were stressed as they were 4K in debt. I was sat there thinking 'if only'!

My wife indicated that we were also in debt in an attempt to make them feel a little less worried. They asked how much so I quickly said 20K - we actually owed 40K a few months ago and our debts are still in the mid 30k's!! They looked horrified!! They are a professional couple earning at least 40K between them.

I have learnt a lot about money and peoples attitudes towards it over the last few months. 4K of debt to me would be a dream come true, but for them it's a nightmare!

January2015

chester81 wrote: »

I have learnt a lot about money and peoples attitudes towards it over the last few months. 4K of debt to me would be a dream come true, but for them it's a nightmare!

If only This would be all my Christmases arrived all at once:j

Sazzie23

I think it's not actually about the amount of debt, it's about how you plan to repay it. If you owe £1000 and can't pay it back then it's possibly more of a problem than £50k owe that you can pay back. Neither is a happy situation, though.

Like you I try to avoid the debt /money conversations, I also feel the people who complain about money tend to be the ones who have more than me, owe less than me and will go into retirement with good savings.

If people ask me directly ( I have changed personal cirvs this year so for some reason it now seems to be an acceptable subject for accquaintences to discuss), I say that I do not have to choose between heating and eating, that I do have considerable debt still to pay off but I'm hoping to be able to pay my mortgage off within the next 5 years. This seems to pacify them that I have not inherited buckets of money (I took on debt not inheritance), that I do not plan to sell my house and move into a mansion anytime soon, that equally I do not need anyone to share my (very small) house and that I will have to continue working for the foreseeable future.

I'd say get yourselves a sensible but truthful line ready for the money conversations, and then tactfully change the subject. My go to line after the money conversation is the price of utilities and how easy it is to switch LOL.

Bobarella

I think that's the key there Sazzie,it's not great owing any amount and particularly worse if you have no plan in place to repay it.

northerner999

Sazzie nailed it on the head - the key thing is not amount of debt but a plan to deal with this. I am far happier wth my financial situation now, with (reducing) debt, than pre any c-card debt when I didn't have any control.

sourcrates

This is one conversation I've never had, with anyone, ever !!
(except on this forum)

No one has ever discussed with me how much debt they were in, or what they spend there money on, it seems to be a taboo subject, not to be gossiped about.

I guess that's why, equally, people keep quite when there struggling to repay it, and only seek help as a last resort.

Is it just us Brits that are like this ?

Stiff upper lip and all that ?

I would say that's probebly why people have so little knowledge about debt solutions, and the debt collection process in general, and why they end up on forums like this in the first place.

changeforbetter

I have a friend who I know has the opposite of debt - large amounts of savings, and a fully paid off large house.

However, they have often told me they are worried about their own money situation - they have just retired early.

I have to rather bite my tongue and smile through a grimace, as I'm on a lowish income and have about 26k in debt right now....

To different people, money trouble means very different things. :think:

Ellieseleven

It's true that the subject of money and debt rarely comes up in social conversation. My usual line if it is ever mentioned is that I don't use credit cards and prefer to save and pay for things without the use of a CC. I haven't told anyone that I had 46k of debt when I went on my DMP.


I work in an organisation where everyone appears to have money i.e. they all have new or nearly new cars, smart clothes, decent houses and holiday at least once a year but you never know their true situations. Before my DMP, I too had the new cars, clothes and holidays but they were funded by credit:( Now I drive a nine year old car and holidays are on hold for now but I'm much happier chipping away at my debt;)


Ellie x