Get me out of this rut!!

Sugapuff21

After a breakdown to my brother, he has suggested I follow this path!! I've estimated costs of shopping/food etc as I tend to shop without lists or planning. This is all going to change in the new year. I also plan to do my shopping online to keep me away from the stores and spend more time at home ebaying/carbooting.
I'm stuck in a vicious circle with depression and anxiety and that makes me spend and eat!! I am in the system for counselling and my Dr is very helpful - she just can't give me the money to get me back on track!!

I am assuming help will and advise will come from this post.................thank you and merry christmas x


Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Income from Employment (after tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 863.92
Income from Self Employment (before tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
State Pension . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Private Pension / Annuity Payout. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Benefits (Inc. Child Benefit/Tax Credits & Income Support). . . . . . . . . . . 955.50
Income From Savings & Investments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Gifts From Family / Friends . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
CSA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 264.90

Monthly Expense Details

In Your Home

Mobile phones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60.00
TV licence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.12
Internet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63.81
Home phone. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Cleaning products/Cleaner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Garden maintenance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Household maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3.00
Oil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Electricity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35.00
Gas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35.00
Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45.65
Council tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100.00
Overdraft cost. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Bank account fee. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.50
Home insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.65
Mortgage/Rent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 800.00
Plumbing/Boiler cover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Mortgage life insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Mortgage payment protection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Life insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22.96
Food and household shopping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 346.67
Drinks for home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Motoring & Public Transport

Petrol/Diesel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60.00
Parking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Car tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11.37
Car insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21.99
Car maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Rail/Buses/Taxis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Breakdown cover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Debt Repayments

Credit card repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25.00
Hire purchase repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Personal loan repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150.00
Car loan repayments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179.87

Savings & Investments

Pension payments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Buying shares . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Investments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Cash ISAs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Lump sum saving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Regular saving. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50.00

Family

Pet food. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15.00
School trips. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
School meals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Pocket money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Nappies/Baby extras . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Laundry/Dry cleaning. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Children's travel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Baby-sitting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Childcare/Playgroups. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Pet insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Travel insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Entertainment

Satellite/Digital TV. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49.50
Family days out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.00
Cinema/Theatre trips. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Books/Music/Films/Computers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Big days out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Shopping for fun. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Pet costs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Hobbies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
IT/Computing (antivirus, etc) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
DVD rental. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Drinking out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15.00
Eating out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00

Clothes, Health & Beauty

Complimentary therapies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Optical bills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Haircuts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.67
Dentistry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Beauty treatments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Healthcare cash plans . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Dental insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Private medical insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Fitness/Sports/Gym. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Work clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
New children's clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
New clothes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Education & Courses

University tuition fees . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
School fees . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.00
Your courses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Big One-Offs

Funeral expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Wedding expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Sofa/Kitchen/TV . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30.00
Birthdays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Winter holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Summer holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Christmas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Odds & Sods

Newspapers and magazines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Tax & NI Provisions (self-employed only). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Regular charity donations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Meals at work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Smokes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Coffees/Sandwiches/Snacks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21.67


Total monthly income. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,084.32


Total monthly expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2,233.42

theoretica

Good advice from your brother! When you have time, going through your past bank statements to work out where your money has really been going, and how much your groceries were, might be worthwhile.

My first thoughts are below in blue. Good luck!

Sugapuff21 wrote: »

Mobile phones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60.00 How many? How long are the contracts and can you trim this? Nothing to lose by asking if they can do you a better deal until your contractruns out.
Internet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63.81
In addition to the TV? Shop around for a better deal (this site has good guides)

Bank account fee. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.50
What are you really getting for this and would you be paying for it anyway?

Food and household shopping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 346.67
For how many? The old style forum here will probably be able to help you cut down

Car maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Unlikely to be 0, sadly.


Satellite/Digital TV. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49.50
Seems very high given you are paying separately for internet - should be a target for getting much the same thing for less money.

Drinking out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15.00
Eating out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.00
Coffees/Sandwiches/Snacks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21.67
These could probably be trimmed - perhaps buy a thermos to take coffee/packed lunches?

Deep_In_Debt

As above, but do you need to spend £20 on new clothes for the child/children every month? Could they have hand me downs, charity shops/nearly new shops?

AspiringButAnxious

I've just started reading Allen Carr's Get Out of Debt Now and it's really opened my eyes as to how my spending is an addiction. I already knew I spent to make myself feel better and that it just made me feel worse in the long term, but the book spells out everything and points out that my impulsive spending was an attempt to feel the way people who aren't in debt feel all the time.

Facing up to your behaviour is hard, but essential. My mental health problems have influenced my spending and indirectly caused most of my debt, but I am ultimately responsible for how I have behaved. Everyone has reasons behind their debt and while some are more understandable than others, you have to stop hiding behind excuses in order to tackle your finances. I put it this way: "my mental illness has played a role in my making bad decisions and acting irresponsibly, but I accept that I have to change and am changing my behaviour."

My personal bad decisions include being in difficult situations, such as when I resigned from jobs due to mental illness and spent my savings on basic living expenses, but they were still bad decisions even though I felt I had no option at the time. It's difficult to accept that your debt problems are your oen fault and that you have caused yourself pain, but it is the first step to making the changes which will help you repay your debt, save money and stay in control of your finances no matter what life throws at you.

Controlling your finances involves permanent changes. You can live frugally for X amount of time until you repay your debts, but if you go back to your old habits you will get in trouble again sooner or later. It's like going on a diet — if you return to unhealthy habits, your old problems will resurface. I started questioning my attitudes towards possessions and realised that I was buying into the capitalist/consumerist idea that "he with the most toys (i.e. Material goods) wins". This is a lie. Nobody wins. The winners are people who opt out of comparing themselves with others and live according to their own, considered values. Once I figured this out, I started spending less because I realised how stupid I was being, getting into debt to buy things I didn't need and which could never make me happy.

I don't mean for this to sound simple or easy — I continue to learn about my spending habits and gaining control of my finances is an ongoing process — but addressing these issues does make things easier. I know your instinct is to focus on getting the numbers down, but ignoring the factors behind your spending/debt won't help you in the long term. A multi-faceted approach ensures that you deal with the nuts and bolts of reducing debt alongside the emotions assocated with finances.

A practical strategy I have found useful is giving myself more leeway with the Amazon vouchers I earn from surveys. It allows me to treat myself without taking money away from repaying my debt. I also make sure I observe my behaviour and the resulting emotions: after several splurges of my Amazon vouchers, I became hyper aware that mindlessly spending all the available balance didn't bring me any happiness or satisfaction. I get more pleasure from waiting until the things I want are reduced in price and then using my vouchers to snag a bargain!

Good luck in your MSE journey and remember that any action is better than no action, even if repaying debt feels like filling a swimming pool with an eggcup. I find that keeping a diary on the suforum helps to remind me that I am progressing — plus it provides a it of support from fellow MSE folk. Facing your debt is the first step, so well done. So many people try to ignore money problems, never knowing how much they owe and continuing to spend what they don't have; you have started tackling your finances, so be proud of yourself

bearcat16

Thanks, interesting post, it sounds like you are making good progress.

I have learned to enjoy spending money a different way. For example, a few years ago we needed a new laptop and could have put it in a credit card. But instead we saved hard for 4 months, making little sacrifices and putting the money into savings jar.

When we'd saved the £350 needed, we went along and bought it with cash.

Every time I used that laptop I was reminded of our little 4 month saving project to get it, and it made me smile. We appreciated having it because we'd saved for it.

There is also a weird pleasure in getting a big bill for something like water, gas etc, and having the money ready to pay it because you've been expecting it and carefully planning for it.

There was a time when unexpected bills would cause a feeling of panic. Now I never get unexpected bills because I have everything planned properly.

Good luck with your continued debt taming.

Sugapuff21

Thank you so much!! I also have some vouchers on amazon so will look into the book you mention.

Teacher2

"... my impulsive spending was an attempt to feel the way people who aren't in debt feel all the time. "

People who aren't in debt feel exactly the same as you do. Only the 'Instagram kids', the children of billionaires, spend without conscience or thought for the consequences. Those of us in the real world also feel constrained and that debt could be just one payday away. You were imagining that others live life without a care or a thought for trouble.

The insight you are experiencing now is called 'reality'.

gettingtheresometime

Sugapuff21 wrote: »

Thank you so much!! I also have some vouchers on amazon so will look into the book you mention.

Better still see if your library has it!