Flo's Debt Free Diary

crazy_cat_lady

Flo - look how far you've come in just one year. What a difference a year has made to you. Long may it last

Money_spending_mummy

Such a great positive post Flo. We'll done.

Florence_J

One year ago today I was off work ill. The illness was caused by stress. I had a lot of stress at the time. I was working a job where the colleagues were great but the actual work caused me misery. Also I was in debt and seemed incapable of getting out of it. Eventually I had my LBM, or a combination of lots of little LBM and I knew that I was about 2 steps away from the point of no return.

Despite earning a decent wage (well, to me it was a decent wage), working for a respectable company, having a great OH, a roof over my head, I was miserable. And I tried to fill the void with shopping. I couldn't enter a shop without buying anything, even going food shopping with a list would see me come back with something else just to fill the void. I felt like my human rights were being abused if I couldn't go to Peacocks immediately after being paid. I spent more money on coffee shop drinks and food, canteen lunches, and meals out then I did on food for inside the house.

I know why my obsession with buying clothes started. I was overweight (still am), as a result of having a hormonal disorder I had a lot of spots (still do) and my hair at best is slightly presentable and at worse looks like Brian May's. I felt hideously ugly, but I thought maybe if I dressed well then people wouldn't notice.

But that's not all. That is just a very small part of why I got into debt.

All my life I have felt like I have had to go without. There have been the Christmases and Birthdays I didn't get presents from my Dad as we didn't have the money. The time my High School paid for my school uniform. The food my Grandparents bought out of their pension for us. The fact that 80% of my wardrobe was hand me downs-by the way I grew up in a house with just my brothers so my hand me downs were boys clothes-so I never felt like I was being the person I wanted to be. I spent many many years not being able to express myself. I didn't have my ears pierced until I was 16.

I used to never have a need for a credit card. I was given one when I opened my student account. Eventually the bank closed my credit card as I had never used it. But then I needed to use it as I was going abroad and thought it would be good for emergencies. Then I was offered another credit card.

But still at this point-a few years ago-I was still okish with money. I paid my credit card balance in full each month. This did mean I had money in my current account for only about 2 days after payday, but I was coping.

But I started being bullied at my job. I didn't cope well mentally, and I'll admit it I didn't handle the situation well either-but in my defence I was very young and unexperienced. This is when my anxiety started. This is when I was put on anti depressants. I had panic attacks before my shifts began.

I left that job and got another one. You know what happened next readers. My old job gave me a bad reference and I was fired from my new job. After just 7 days.

I got into debt because I couldn't get a full time job and had to work god awful zero hour contracts. I worked in jobs where it was like an art experiment to see how far you could push the good workers into quitting. I worked one job where a full time contract became available so me and 2 others applied for it. In the interview our bosses asked us 'Who deserves the job most out of you, Miss X and Mr X?' Then, can you believe it, they gave the contract to someone Who. Did. Not. Apply.

I was earning negative income anyway, so I got a bit stupid and decided that If I was going to get into debt anyway, then I may as well have some fun with it.

And after all else is said and done it is easy to get into debt.

You just have to go and apply for a credit card.

Then another one.

Then another.

Until you have 5. And you max them out because you are tired of not being able to afford anything. You are tired of walking in the rain because you can't afford the bus, let alone a taxi. You are tired of wearing old, worn out clothes. You are tired of the fact that you are 26 and you have never owned a laptop.

So you get into debt just because you are angry that everyone else seems to have everything and you have nothing and what's more you have always felt this way and you just want to feel normal and not like a failure any longer.

But, as I know now, it is the getting into debt that is the failure, not the fact you don't always have the latest clothes.

But despite being in debt, despite 'technically' being in more debt then ever (and certainly more than I had a year ago today) I don't see myself as a failure. Flawed- yes, but then again who isn't?

In a weird way my debt fulfils me, it motivates me, it keeps me going, it gives me something to aim for, it gives me a desire, a reason to get up in the morning.

I used to read self help book after self help book-desperately trying to find an answer to why I felt so bad.

I can honestly say I am bored of self help books and haven't touched a single one all year. I no longer need them. I am, dare I say it, doing ok. I'm fine.

I have a long way to go with my debt, but I'll get there.

Here's to another great year.

x

Florence_J

Time to post about my spending in November

WORK EXPENSE (milk and tea bags) = £7.70
NON ESSENTIAL FOOD (mainly snacks, coffee shop drinks and work lunches) =£99.90
HOBBIES = £23.19
GIFTS = £42.05
TOILETRIES = £1.70
CLOTHING MAINTENANCE = £14.40
SOCIAL = £50.35
CLOTHING = £7.50
HOMEWARE = £3.77
STATIONARY = £23.49
CHRISTMAS EXPENSES = £18.26
TRAVEL = £19.90
HAIR ACCESSORIES = £3

How, may I ask, does one spend just 10p shy of £100 on 'Non Essential Food?'

This is particularly bad as I don't count food/drinks I have with friends or my OH as that comes under the 'Social' category.

That's £100 that my bank balance (and most likely my waist line) could have done without!!!!

This has always been a problem area for me when working, particularly in winter, as during the week it's all I can do to find the time to just exist during the week. I can't tell you how many times I leave for work in the morning and I haven't even had time to brush my hair!

So you can forget about me finding the time to make a healthy, home made, packed lunch.

This is an area that needs serious work on it. I don't want to fritter away £100 each month on something that leaves no lasting impact on my life apart from maybe higher cholesterol.

aye aye aye.

Florence_J

Hi Everybody,

I feel super chuffed as I have downloaded the new PayQwiq Tesco App that Martin Lewis told us all about.

For those who don't know it's an app created by Tesco's where you link your clubcard and bank cards to an app on your phone and you can pay for your shopping through your phone by the cashier scanning the page on your app.

The first five times you use the app you get 100 clubcard points. You have to spend a minimum of a quid, but if (like me) you go to Tesco's, spend only 1 quid on your app, then effectively what you bought was free!

In fact they still give you 1 Clubcard point for spending a quid so really they are paying you 1p to buy milk/bread/etc.

So I am very happy.

Florence_J

Hi everybody,

Christmas is 90% complete in the Flo Household. There are a few things left to do. I have to wrap my Dad and Stepmum's joint presents, buy a few chocolate treats for my OH to use up the last bit of his Christmas present budget, finalise my OH's sisters presents (her birthday is a few days after Christmas so we have two gifts to arrange), sort out the house and I believe I still have some Irish Cream that needs drinking. :rotfl:

Anyway, to update you on my finances.

I now technically have 6 credit cards, but the balance on my big bad Vanquis card is......0

I transferred the last bit to the Tesco 0% Balance Transfer card and I understand that this isn't quite the end for the Vanquis card. There will still most likely be an interest payment to make, so first thing (well, as soon as I can) on Tuesday (Christmas payday, yay!) I will ring them, make the payment and then vanquish the card to the fiery pits of hell.

That card has been a bit like that scene in the Godfather...i try to leave it but it keeps calling me back.

Also on Tuesday I will make my big payment to my capital card which I am aiming to have cleared before the end of the year and that will take it to a balance of under £100.

I am anticipating my success in clearing the Capital card on the basis of assumed Christmas present money which is risky but hopefully will pan out ok.

I am also pleased to say that the Christmas Credit Card Expenditure is still £0.

And as long as I can make it to January 1st then I will have gone one full year since I was last overdrawn on any account or card I have, and the same goes for a late payment on a bill.

I've come a long way Baby.

Florence_J

Hi Everybody,

A year ago tomorrow I started keeping a monthly food budget. I started it on my Christmas payday last year and did a food budget from payday to payday.

At this point last year my OH's parents were still doing our food shopping. They would do a big monthly food shop for us and we would top it up as the month went on.

I have always felt very uncomfortable about this time in my life and am glad it's over.

So initially we set a budget of £125 for top up shopping during the month, then in March my OH's Dad had an accident at home when he tripped and fell in the garage and had to have a hip replacement. This meant my OH's parents weren't able to shop for us so we (FINALLY!!!!) started doing our own shopping (though occasionally they still give us money towards it).

So we increased the budget to £185 as that seemed reasonable, then somehow we ended up going about £40 over budget for two months, and I was desperate to rein it in and have a yearly food budget target of £2040, meaning for the rest of the year we would have to have a food budget of £168 per month.

Today my last food budget of 2016 ended.

The food budget was £153 (due to going slightly over in November)

We ended the month at £152.26/£153

Our yearly total expenditure on food was £2039.24/£2040.

I know you shouldn't toot your own horn, but I feel

:dance: :T :dance: :T :dance: :T :dance: :T :dance:

I promised my OH if we could end the year in credit on the food budgets then we can increase the food budget so maybe we can end the whole 'We only have 63p left of the food budget so we will have to go without bread until thursday' way we had been living.

A year ago I couldn't have kept to a budget.

I feel bad saying this in a year where Brexit, Trump and just about every celebrity ever dying happened but 2016 has been one of the best years of my life. I should add 'on the whole' as I did have really bad anxiety, had to go on very high anti depressants and have counselling but everything is coming up Milhouse.

I feel capable for the first time in my adult life. I feel like I am where I am meant to be. I don't feel any insecurity over my career progression or status or my skills.

I have absolutely clear cut direction and vision. I know exactly what motivates me and what keeps me going and what I am going to do to make my dreams come true and where I am heading.

Before I would be far too embarrassed to tell someone anything I wanted to achieve in life. I could barely admit to what I wanted for lunch. I had no confidence in telling someone my goals and desires as there was not even the tiniest bit of me that believed I could achieve them.

Now I tell anyone at pretty much any opportunity I get that I am going to study Economics and work in Finance, or be a Financial Advisor, or be the next Martin Lewis!!!! :money:

Because it is not a dream, it is not a wish, it is not a fantasy.

It is my future.

And I won't rest until I make it happen.

Florence_J

Hi Everybody,

You know how proud I was just feeling?

Well, I'm going to have to back track a little.

You see as it is payday tomorrow this means I had to finalise my 'December 2016 Accounts' Spreadsheet, which meant I had to finalise my '2016 Accounts' Spreadsheet.

So

2016 Total money in = £15063

2016 Total Money Out = £15630.53

Difference = £567.53 in the red

And actually it's worse than that because my Christmas expenses are kept on a separate spreadsheet.

So I got into about £1000 of debt this year.

Oh dear oh dear.

Well, we did already know this. I'm going to end 2016 in more debt than I started it in, but still it's not nice seeing it in black and white.

Oh well, you win some you lose some.

2017=Must Try Harder!

Florence_J

Hi Everybody,

Today I phoned up Vanquis who I have a big bad balance on a big bad credit card with. Or should I say Used to as I have transferred it all to my new 0% Balance Transfer Tesco Credit Card.

Good News

I told them I wanted to close the account and settle up and for all intents and purposes this is done.

Bad News

Well, it's sort of done. Although the balance is £0, I still have this months interest to pay, which I knew I would have to pay. But I can't do this until January when I get my next statement, which is a big fat BOOOO! I was hoping to clear it today.

So it's still in limbo land at the moment. But my Vanquis Card has been Vanquished!

Just onto the remaining 5 cards.

Florence_J

Hi Everybody,

On Monday I started getting a sore throat and I thought if I did my usual tactic of ignoring any signs of impending illness it would go away.

Nope.

Tuesday and today have been pretty bad health wise, I have got that dreaded cold that seems to be going around and as it was Christmas week and I am not working Friday I thought I would struggle through it and not call in sick.

However today both my line manager and another colleague said it isn't wise to come in if I am ill and we are hardly rushed off our feet so if I need to call in sick I can.

Which has made me all the more determined to see it through to the bitter end tomorrow!

Yes I would have been more comfortable at home, in a duvet fort on the sofa, and there have been some pretty bad moments where I have been so nauseated that I have retched, but I survived this far and I don't want to miss the fun and excitement of it being Christmas.

Obviously don't be as foolish as me kids. If you've got the lurgy then stay at home. I'm just an idiot who cares too much about debuting my latest Christmas jumper at work.