Friday 27th November - What small DFW things will you do today?

maria3104

Morning all

I am not posting as often as I should as we are without broadband at home. Work is manic, so find it difficult to get a minute. anyway appointment has just cancelled so here I am.

Still undecided about returning my m and s stuff. Am wearing one of the jumpers today, so that one is decision made.

Will not be joining the black friday chaos. Infact I think I will be having a no spend weekend. Hurrah. My lovely secretary sent an aunt to buy reduced toys in our local big town and after queuing all the reduced toys were sold! Sound familiar anyone.

So a bit of a cleaning and chicken bonding weekend.

Have fun everyone.

Maria.

determined_new_ms

DawnW wrote: »

DNMS, I know what you mean about teenage rebellion /MH problems. My elder DD was similar, running away, refusing to go to school, risky behaviours etc. I could see she was unhappy, but in my ignorance didn't think of getting advice etc. Though she is 40 next month and I am not sure what help would have been available (?) The school were very unhelpful, and I dealt with it (or not ) by simply trying to support her, and in doing so, probably let her get away with murder much of the time I know what you mean by it feeling as though it is destroying your family, and it was all the more difficult living in a very small and judgemental seeming community

She improved as she got older, and no longer has the ongoing problems that your DD has, but she does have an odd outlook and way of dealing with things. I worry about her little DDs a bit, although she is a very good mum, they live in quite an isolated situation, and she is very controlling and doesn't often let them mix with the other kids outside of school time. Their behaviour is already quite problematic, but I am hoping this is just a phase :eek: DD probably thinks I was too lax and she got into bad company, which is quite possibly the case, but you just do what you can at the time, don't you. I was so scared of her running away permanently, being taken into care or getting onto hard drugs that I did let lots of things go by the board just to keep some kind of rapport with her. I remember it as a truly horrible time, and you have my sympathy

Dawn I remember you being such a source of support through the rough teenage years whenever I posted about dd. It was helpful to know someone else on the planet had been through similar. I wasn't as sympathetic as you by the sounds of it, which in retrospect I wish I had taken that approach and if dgd started to display similar behaviours I definitely will (she is at a much higher risk of developing the disorder genetically - both my mother and dd had/have it and it appears it has ran down our female line for generations - and also because of the separation from her dm).

I hate to say it but your daughter may have the traits. It affect 5-10% of the population, much more than schizophrenia or Bipolar but much less funding or awareness. But there are degrees to how it impacts on the person and whether they are high or low functioning and as it is a mood disorder people generally grow out of it in later life if they haven't accessed the correct treatment. often when people explain situations to me I think *BPD*. I was talking with a friend the other day and he was explaining how his brother's partner is a very difficult person. After he'd finished I said it sounded like BPD. On Tuesday I happened to be with his brother, who I hadn't seen for years, and said about my dd and her disorder and then he said "that's what my partner has"!

Anyway gonna stop banging on now! I could write a book on this! x

carrielovesfanta

Morning all!


Quick pop in as work is booooring right now (endless QC)


It's so lovely to see all the support that everyone on this thread has for each other and I think that it's wonderful that we can also talk openly about MH issues. I know that while OH was really ill, that it helped me to be able to talk about it to someone neutral.


I hope that it will help anyone who is reading to see the discussions


Today's list:

• Cook the ham and the sausage rolls for the party
• B/L/D from stores
• Charge phone in work
• Pick up bits for potato salad
• Have a fun evening before the crazy onslaught tomorrow
• Put up Christmas decs - I know it's early but it's because of the party

Very small list


Have a good day all


clf x

foxgloves

DNMS - I am no expert, of course, but I'm convinced with hindsight that an ex-friend/flatmate had BPD. It made her hell to live with at times & did contribute to the end of our friendship as she was always in denial about the cause of her own problems, indulged in self-destructive behaviour & did her best to 'test' those around her by being as difficult as possible & having poured support in over the years, I couldn't stand it any longer. I think it is an under-diagnosed condition & of course, with young people, especially teenagers, mental health services are dreadfully inadequate. I'm sure we can all remember a news story earlier this year when a teenaged girl with MH problems spent the night locked in a police cell for her own safety because there was no place for her in a properly supportive unit or hospital. It's a very sad & frustrating situation. Before my redundancy, I worked with children & young people & it was my opinion that the individuals with the worst most time-consuming behaviour all had underlying mental health conditions or were suffering from terribly unstable blood sugar......we'd see kids who had been sent out for the entire day with just £1 in their pockets for food, which naturally they'd spend on Haribo so by the end of the afternoon with no proper food & in all likelihood often with no breakfast either, they'd be bouncing off the walls effing & blinding at anyone who stood in their way. Some staff were sympathetic. Others would say 'But my son/daughter wouldn't behave like that' & I'd be trying to explain that young people don't come in 'One size fits all'. Teenage mental health services need a huge overhaul in my view, but not likely to happen with the continuing austerity cuts, sadly.

foxgloves

To all those who have commented today on my discipline with budgeting, I'm going to remind you that I have come to budgeting rather late in life. I first got into debt aged 19 & didn't pay off the last of it (combined by then with mr f's even bigger debts!) until I was 46!! I never used to budget & always overspent my monthly income. Bank statements were kept in a drawer so I could pretend I'd looked at them with my eyes open! I was a very bad girl. Just shows anyone can reform. Will get my list on now & you can see how changed I am these days xx

foxgloves

Good afternoon Frugalistas,
Today is Big Budget Day so that's what I've been focusing on today with my money saving:
*Reconciled last month's budget & checked all payments had gone out correctly.
*Worked out how much grocery budget needed for Christmas (factoring in a contribution from my parents who are coming to stay plus a decent wodge of nectar points) & set our overall budget for December.
*Can afford to pay all the Savings Piggies this month - £200 split between them as standard.
*Made a new December grocery budget page in my Filofax for recording any food spends.
*Transferred money from grocery budget into CC account to pay for turkey yesterday (bought on CC to maximise points for vouchers).
*Paid the £40 Onepoll money received recently across into Car Fund.
*Skimmed current account & PAD'd another £8.39 into Car Fund. Will update signature,
*Paid CC1 in full. Voucher points starting to add up again :-)
*Read energy meters & uploaded reading onto website.
*My new Midshires Co-op dividend card arrived. (Midshires own Co-op Energy). I can't use the dividend for shopping as live a long way north east of the area so I've altered the default setting for divdend payments from vouchers to 'Please pay my dividend straight into my energy account'. I will receive 1 point for every £1 spent on energy & 50 points each month for uploading gas & electricity readings. Should take a few quid off our energy bills over the year.
*Received letter from insurance provider to say I'd be receiving £50 worth of shopping vouchers in January. I am pretty sure I checked this & that I didn't qualify for any vouchers as I had a previous policy with this company so I shall just see what happens.
*Entered a comp to win £100 of Waitrose vouchers. Ooooh, how much would I like them?!
*Did lots of supermarket feedback surveys to win £500 of Waitrose vouchers........I want to win them too! How much fun I could have spending those <sighs....>
*Did a couple of other surveys but hadn't got time to stick around while repeatedly getting kicked out. it does annoy me when I fill in all the profile stuff yet STILL repeatedly have my time wasted with surveys I'm sent yet am ineligible for.
STILL TO DO:
*Meal plans for next fortnight, prioritising clearing freezer to make space for festive fare,
*Write shopping list.
*Prepare for city centre trip tomorrow by making some filled pittas to stop us wasting money on buying a sandwich & making sure all relevant vouchers & Savings PIg cash is in my purse to keep budgets straight.
*Knit more sleeve.
*Open our sealed pots.......have brought date forward as thought it would be helpful to know how much extra cashola we have to add to our December 'Personal Spends'. mr f was like a 5 year old about this over breakfast, practically jumping around with anticipation. He's saved coppers, 5ps & 10ps, I think (unless he's been feeding it with secret £1 coins). I've saved 50ps. I have an item in mind for spending mine.......I don't think there will be all that much in them, we'll have to see! His last words to me this morning were 'Bye babe, get the cash bags ready'..........lol,
*Wash hair & save a smidge of energy by letting it dry naturally.
*Downstairs heating off until much later.
*Find our advent calendar wall hanging so we can fill it ready for Dec 1st. All attempts to find it have so far failed! Sent mr f up into loft & it wasn't there, which went down like a lead brick! Must turn dresser cupboard out. Not buying a new one.
OK, that's my lot. I need to crack on.
Big love to all,
f xx

ziggy2407

Good Afternoon

CCL - Thanks for starting us off today and good luck for this evening, hope you get lots of sales
DNMS - Wow, what shocking behaviour, hope you've written that letter - we are all outraged for you and your DD

Hi to all of the regulars and a BIG welcome to all the newbies, this is a really FAB thread with so many lovely, caring, considerate and supportive people.

Am shattered, didn't sleep well, my arm was throbbing all night -nurse taking blood made a right mess of my arm then spent this morning taking mum around "big shopping centre" to finish her Christmas shopping :eek: - all that's left for me to do now is wrap and distribute it and then maybe think about ours Today I will

Packed lunch for DH - Done
Chase "charity" about donations
Post parcel to Grandson for his birthday - Done
Bump all sale listings/freecycle/facebook -
Check Banks -
Continue purge on Emails -
Continue decluttering -
Enter a few comps -
All meals from cupboards/fridge/freezer -
Check https://www.freepostcodelottery.com - Remember there are now 5 chances to win -
Check Lucky Phone -

Have a good day! Love to you all!

C x

chocolatelover93

Afternoon everyone thank you for starting us off CCL hope your headache has gone and good luck with the party

Wasn't on yesterday as it was my husbands birthday so spent most of the day tidying in the house as we had a few people come over
Nice to see everyone talking about getting rid of negativity yesterday - this is something I need to do. I find one little negative thought can ruin my day and I let other people and their lives get to me when I really shouldn't. In fact I was watching a video on YouTube yesterday that said if you have a negative thought write it down and look at it and think "is that really true?" And although I've not written any down yet (bit hard when you're driving or at work haha) but after having the thought I have tried to reason with myself. Anyway enough of me waffling on!!


Candy - Thank you not sure tbh!! Suppose it will be things like fuel, shopping and maybe a column for random bits or money spent on ourselves?

Jonno - Thank you I will have a go at that, I get paid a 12th of my pay each month so a good starting place. Do you do a page for each month?

DNMS - So sorry to hear how your daughter was treated!! That is absolutely disgusting and really upset me how someone could treat someone like that!! Surely they have no compassion and should not be working with the public at all!! :mad: Sending love and hugs your way xx

List for today:
- Check MS Done - none available
- B/L/D from stores
- Track on MFP Need to get my bottom in gear and do this
- FPL Forgot
- Lucky phone Forgot
- Survey/s
- NSD (and yes on Black Friday!!)
- Enter some competitions
- Check o2 Priorities (I have this on my phone but never check it, the bargains people keep getting I WILL start checking it!!) Ok not a very good remebering day for me - I also forgot!!

YORKSHIRELASS

I am taking a stand against Black Friday. I dont even want to look online. I dont need or want anything and I wont be persuaded to spend money I dont have.

Well I have said before that I was owed £100 by someone I did some work for. By holding back some information they needed I got paid - but this was accompanied by a really nasty e-mail. Totally uncalled for. I am trying to be thick skinned and not let it bother me but I was once quite close to this person and it is quite hurtful.

Bob hope the little lady sleeps better tonight. And CCL hope all goes well.

Foxgloves your posts always inspire me. I need to set my December budgets too. Enjoying a bit of telly time with hubby and the teenagers so I really should put the laptop down!

foxgloves

Yorkshirelass - If anyone had said to me in my 20s & 30s that I'd ever be inspiring a single person, or even, like a small wasp or anything on sensible money management, I'd have collapsed with laughter. I was honestly truly hopeless.