I feel very naive and young!

Roorosie

Okay, so I should start by saying that I barely even know if living in an overdraft counts as being in debt, but it certainly feels rubbish!

For a long time now, my partner and I have been living out of an overdraft, and we're currently £1500 into one overdraft and £500 in another. We earn enough to pay our bills and buy food, and then some, but irresponsible attitudes and burying our heads in the sand has meant that we're not moving. And now we don't know where to start.

We were waiting on a pay-rise that my partner was due, and unfortunately that turned out to be far less than had been implied by his boss. And heavily taxed.

I have some money going towards studies, (actually quite a lot of money going towards studies), but with Christmas coming up, I'm having a lot of stress. I know that a lot of people will be giving me gifts, and I of course want to buy them something good as well. So I've picked an awful time to decide to really knuckle down and get rid of this overdraft stuff.

That said, now that I've decided on it, I don't want to give up. My partner thinks I should wait until January to really get into it, and that I'm spoiling Christmas, but I don't know what else to do!

I've made a budget, and I've made a meal plan and master shopping list for a bi-weekly shop, I'm looking into changing my utilities providers. I feel like there must be more I can do to control my spending, as right now I feel out of control.

I told my parents about it finally (I'd been pretending it's all been fine because I don't want them to try and give me money), and it felt great to get it off my chest, but, as I'd guessed, they're desperate to just fix it all for me. I'm desperate to not put them through this, as I know they don't earn enough to be doing me that favour.

I suppose I just feel a little bit clueless and stupid. I know I've gotten myself into this by just being ignorant and not being responsible or sensible, and there's a big kid in me that doesn't want to be responsible, still! Especially at Christmas time, with everyone around me having fun and treating themselves/their loved ones. How do you all cope with saving money at this time of year?

thriftyandfabulous

Not really got a lot of advice as I've only just come to the realisation that I can't keep on being so reckless with money myself but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. And you've taken a huge step by posting here

freshcotton

It's great news that you're wanting to get things sorted now rather than waiting (for it to get potentially worse).

Living within your means is a positive step that will do wonders for your mental wellbeing. It's not a 'burden' or 'task' so why put it off?

Best of luck x

savingfortomorrow

Starting now means a month more payments and realistically even more paid down.

Don't worry about the cost of the gift, sometimes a well considered and insightful gift of lesser value can be more appreciated that a gift set of expensive rubbish... I would prefer a second hand book or something that suits me that a load of tat. I'm sure others think the same.

Good luck with the journey

theoretica

Hi Roorosie! The first step toany plan is information - working out what money you need to spend (eg rent) and how much that leaves you for spending you can control more (food, presents, phone, TV...)

For the presents could you make things for some of the people on your list, or as mentioned really think about them and look for the slightly quirky cheaper but just right stuff.

tealady

Hi Roorosie
How about saying to people that you would rather you didn't excange presents this year and that money is tight. If you say to them a nice card is far more appreciated I am sure that one or two will heave a sigh of relief. I did that for birthdays this year and it was great not getting a load of unwanted stuff that people had bought for me.

fatbelly

Well done. If you want some help with the fine detail (and it's the fine detail that matters, every little helps as Tesco say) then you should post a statement of affairs.

That's a link to a calculator - you can 'format for mse' and cut and paste, but you'll need to remove any links.

Pixie5740

Living in your overdraft do count as being in debt and it's a very precarious place to be. Those overdrafts are not your money it belongs to the bank and they can recall those overdrafts if they want to. Currently you are living in a death spiral where you get paid and that takes you back to zero and then spend the rest of the month plunging into the red and quite rightly you have decided to take some action.

As for Christmas just don't buy any presents this year. Ask others not to get you anything either. You can't afford it and you can't afford to get into any more debt just because of Christmas either. You might even find that your friends and family are pleased there will be one less person to buy for this year.

andyfromotley

Hi Roo,

you are niether clueless or stupid! You are in fact pretty normal for todays Britain where we all bought into the lie that its ok to be in debt in order to but crap we dont need and cant afford!

Fortunately you are in the right place to say, 'nah, thats not for me'. Fill in the SOA as above and stick around.

foxgloves

Hi Roo,
Try not to be suckered into spending money you don't have on Christmas presents. If you feel you must give something, how about making some fudge & giving everyone a little bag of that tied with a ribbon & hand made label? Or how about giving your time? Think about something you could offer to do for each person. Maybe an older relative would appreciate an afternoon of you helping in their garden, a busy parent might love an offer to babysit, someone else might appreciate you doing a full car valet for them. You can design individual vouchers for each person with your offer on it.
Many people celebrate Christmas as a Christian festival, others celebrate tge older pagan Yule & many just enjoy some much needed time off work with their families. What Christmas isn't is a horrible orgy of spending money we don't have, making life truly difficult in January when the credit card bills roll in. January is a long month, & believe me (because I've been there!) February will be worse. Living out of your overdraft is risky, not least because your bank can simply withdraw it at any time, especially if your spending habits imply that you aren't making any attempts to get your account straight. Once your account drops down to below '0', it's their money you're spending, not yours. Make 2016 the year you crack luving within your means but don't make this a more difficult task by running up silly bills on lots of gifts you can't afford. Good luck!

YORKSHIRELASS

andyfromotley wrote: »

you are niether clueless or stupid! You are in fact pretty normal for todays Britain where we all bought into the lie that its ok to be in debt in order to but crap we dont need and cant afford!.

Brilliant post. Its tough, really tough. I have a big family who love to go mad at Christmas but I only buy them what I can afford in return. If they want to spend loads on me thats up to them. I am getting much better at saying "sorry I just cant afford that".

And believe me when you get to the end of December and money is a bit tight but not disastrously so - and there is no credit card bill on its way - it is the best feeling in the world.

Oh and we lived on a £2500 overdraft for a long time. If I was £2400 overdrawn I thought I had £100 to spend. Those days are long gone now. If I can do it so can you.

Best advice? Start recording every penny you spend. Seeing it in black and white makes it real. Good luck.