feel sick help.found out my son is gambling owes bank money

midebt

just when i thought i was having a nice day..............

my son and his dear wife have just left............

my son age 29 has been secretly gambling

heres the story
took out a bank loan for £3000(found out today that thy have there own bank accounts. ---- ) feel this will all change now

and has a £900 bank over draft

and has been lying.of course with all little tales etc.............


and has been found out with his bank statements.

loan was taken out last march. and has been gambling on the net and in casinos etc...........trying to win it back.....

i feel sick that he has betrayed all his family

of course we will support him wherever he can.....but what can u suggest???

custardy

well it depends,do you mean on the gambling or the outstanding debt?

hypno06

Sorry, I can't suggest a great deal, other than stick around, because there are plenty who have been in that situation - on both sides of the fence, so to speak, who will be able to give you far more constructive advice.

In the mean time, put the kettle on and take a deep breath, you will get through this x

midebt

on the gambling side i think he will go to gamanon near our town

as for the debt .i think his wife will take it on and get a 0% loan from soewhere so it can be paid of quicker..

perhaps i was looking for a bit of advise for my shock this afternoon....cup of tea sounds just right............as i feel gutted..........

RAS

Hi

Sorry to hear you news. If he has only gambled away £3,900, he is very lucky. There are a number of people here who have managed 10-20 times that.

It is obviously a bit of a shock to you, and you would do well to talk to others who have a similiar situation, so you can get support from them.

What is really good is that he has told you and is acknowledging the situation.

Depending on their situation, he and his wife might want to come on here and get help sorting out their finances, but you must let them decide for themselves.

I would make point though

(found out today that thy have there own bank accounts. ---- ) feel this will all change now

If your son and his wife are trying to deal with a debt situation, it may be a lot better for her to keep her finances separate from his. If his gambling has affected his credit rating, and she has joint accounts, then it will affect hers as well. Keeping things separate may allow them to access cheaper finance than if they have joint accounts.

Margaret54

I have just read your message, and i am sorry to hear of the shock you have had. My lovely Dad (passed away at only 50) was a compulsive gambler and he would always be trying to win the money back and we grew up with this always in our home life. I am in my fifties now and i am no expert but please do not try to pay any of this debt yourself, no matter how much you want to help him. Your son must pay it all himself, or he will not learn anything. I am not being harsh i promise. There are organisations out there to help him, and if he can go and walk into somewhere, it will be a big start. His wife would be better off having her own account rather than a joint one. It must be an awful difficult thing to be caught up in this spiral of utter misery and feeling he cannot get out of it. He can get sorted and if he goes and asks for help it will be a good thing. He will be given support. Us Mums always want to help our children and make life easier for them, but this is something which your son has to do himself. I wish you well, and please take care of yourself and your health. Margaret xx

midebt

thanks for all help

still feel a bit sick but better than a lot sick:rolleyes:

good idea about the bank accounts even though he has not fell into arrrears with the bank loan........

will gice u an update nnext week:A