Engagement cards - just a rant

GlasweJen

I come from a big family who usually send cards for everything. I have 7 females in my generation (2 sisters and 5 cousins) and I'm the 6th to get engaged.

When my sisters and cousins got engaged they had cards and gifts within days, my older sister got these despite not seeing most of the family members for years. I've been engaged for a month and so far from my mums side of the family I've only received a card from my parents, my little sister and one uncle. I see my grandparents every weekend and not got a card even though my gran's brought through cards for birthdays and moving home for other people and even asked me to pass some cards on for her as she doesn't trust the postal service. My uncle who is also my godfather didn't even mention my engagement when they were through.

As far as I know no one has any issues with my OH or me. There was one falling out in the family but that wasn't to do with me or mum and she/I still talk to everyone and just don't get involved with that thing.

OHs family have all sent cards even though they're not really card people.

It's really hurtful as I've missed out on a lot of special occasions being celebrated due to other things going on in the family (like my cousin having her wedding on my 21st birthday) and of all the girls I'm the sentimental one that keeps cards and looks back on them.

My own big sister hasnt sent a card and has the cheek to complain that she's not a bridesmaid!

Obviously it would be rude for me to say anything but I really need to bite my lip when mum goes on about how few people I am planning to have at my wedding (50, but that barely makes a dent in my family) but none of these people have even bothered to congratulate us - why should I stress about inviting and feeding them?

heartbreak_star

I wish I knew what to say have a hug!

HBS x

GlasweJen

Thanks, I'm just ranting really. In a family of 30 couples I should have more than 3 cards - I've had more than that from work colleagues and friends who live abroad!

firebird082

So sorry to hear that - it's really disappointing isn't it. We didn't get many from my side of the family, but that mostly because they weren't aware we were engaged until they got the save the date for the wedding!

Have you spoken to your Mum about it? She might have more idea about why they might feel differently about you (maybe they feel for some reason that you require less support, or something? People always thought I was really self-reliant, and thus that I didn't need as much 'encouragement' as others, which sometimes comes across as the sort of effect you're describing?

Just throwing out some ideas. Oh, and congratulations on your engagement! xx

rdone

Have a hug... I know how you feel. It's unfair that if the bride gets upset over something she gets classed as a bridezilla. Have another hug!