Suicidal, Chronic Illness, Family problems, more debt than I've had before. F&%k.

DPU

Hi.

I'll try and keep this short, otherwise it'll end up being a wall of text and I'll just be going around in circles etc etc.

In a nutshell:

The Main Problem and Reason I'm Here: £3629.07 on one credit card, £792.54 on the other (and a few grand owed to various family members but, that can wait for now - they're not chasing me down).

I know that those amounts are pitiful compared to the vast majority of people with problems - it doesn't make it any easier for me to cope with.

I am on Universal Credit - my monthly payments cover my rent and the two credit card bills, leaving me around £11 a week for the phoneline/internet/mobile/water/electricty/gas/car/insurances/taxes etc etc - you get the idea - you know what monthly bills consist of. Oh yes, and food. (I've already cut off my TV license as a not-neccessary-thing. The Internet will have to do for now), plus loosing weight is usually a good thing.

I have weekly counselling (which, thank *%&* is donation-based, so, they're letting me get it for free for now) - I spend far too long standing on bridges or staring at pills. I know I wouldn't ever go through with it, I'm just running out of options.

Apart from the major anxiety and depression and stupid, stupid sleeping patterns (currently been up for over 40 hours, but, too messed up to leave my flat...just staring at the walls) I have the stupidest ailment you'll have heard of:

It's called Delayed Pressure Urticaria - literally an allergy to physical pressure. If I wear clothes that are too tight, I get hives and rashes at the tight-areas (mainly waist obviously). If I'm on my feet for too long, my feet swell up and I'm unable to walk. If I do anything too physical with my hands, they get hot, swell up and both of my thumbs have swollen so much that they have blistered and split on two occassions. There is no cure. Anti-histamines have little to no effect. It's rare. And it sucks. Have a quick Google of it for some more fun and in-depth descriptions.

Currently I'm getting the Universal Credit (as I've said) and just been accepted for Council Tax relief too.

I just don't. know. what. to do. I'm obviously not entitled to any other forms of benefits, I simply cannot find a job that I know I'd be able to stick with (apart from the Allergy, I can barely leave my flat most days). I'm just spiralling down and down and I have no idea what the &%^$ to do - and I'm running out of time and options.

Last thing, I swear - for over 2.5 years my family have been going through some horrific times due to accusations and insane madness etc etc which involves court cases, armed police, me-being-called-as-a-witness, life-ruining accusations etc etc etc (tooooo big to get into here) and that, obviously, is affecting us all, but, it's just another !!!!!! thing I'm attempting to deal with, with everything else.

I'm single. I have no dependents. I'm 31. I know that these debts/money issues are not the end of the world, and that they can be dealt with - currently I just don't know how. And it feels like the end of my world is coming either way.

I'd be eternally grateful for any kind of help, advice, hope and/or hugs.

Cheers.

AliceBanned

Sorry to hear about the problems you are having. You have come to the right place for some support.


First of all I would recommend phoning Stepchange - you can't afford to repay the credit cards on that income and they will speak to the lenders and sort this out, either making lower payments for a while or maybe freezing the interest or both. They are very understanding and helpful. You do need to unburden yourself a bit and stop giving yourself a hard time, it is not your fault and your debts you are right are not huge. I'm sorry but I don't know what kind of income you have on Universal Credit these days - does that cover disability/sickness benefit?


With the urticaria - are you under the care of a dermatologist? I know some of these conditions can be difficult and you find it hard to cope/get out but you do need some help with your stress levels as this might be making the illness worse (it is a vicious cycle with chronic illnesses, I know, I have one myself), and anyway if you are under so much stress you might be able to get counselling from your GP.


Believe things will get better. You are still young and with some help and support you can turn this around. I know how stressful families can be as well..it isn't easy but try to look after yourself first and not worry about everyone else for now as you are your first responsibility and other people's problems need to wait.

traceydc49

Bless you DUP, I've only put questions on here before, just feel I need to send you some support. I know things feel bleak at the moment, & everything is compounded by loads of problems all at once. Nothing worth the unthinkable honey, there's ways round most things. Get some urgent advice with debt, if just 1 thing is addressed it will help you cope with another 1, nothings that bad, certainly not the debt, you will get there, promise, take care of yourself, thinking of you, Tracey x

sourcrates

Hi,

Sorry to hear of your situation, as regards the debts, if your not earning now, don't pay them, simple as that, your unsecured credit payments are the very last thing you should pay if you have no money, think about it, what can they do ?

Worst case scenario is they take you to court, court finds in there favour, you fill in your income/expenditure, court awards them £1 a month, that's it, they won't make you pay more than you can afford, so debt wise, I'd stop worrying, look after yourself, buy food etc, debts can wait.

Good advice above to contact stepchange or National Debtline, they will most likley tell you a similar story, or just pay them £1 a month, either way, look after yourself first !!!!

National_Debtline

Hi DPU


I'm sorry to hear you've had so much to deal with. I'm sure there are no quick fixes for some of the issues you mention, such as the allergy and the legal wrangles, but I hope you're seeking the appropriate support wherever it's available. The good news is that there are relatively straightforward solutions for dealing with the credit debt side of things.


I'll keep it nice and simple to begin with - cancel the payments on those credit cards as soon as possible. Your benefits should be reserved for paying your absolute essentials i.e. your rent, energy and food, plus whatever else you need to maintain a basic standard of living - such as the items you mention above. Paying credit cards is not essential in these circumstances - it'll affect your credit report but not a great deal else.


Do you have any debts with your bank, such as an overdraft? If so, I would arrange to have your Universal Credit paid in somewhere else - a basic account with another bank, or even just a Post Office account for now.


I suspect that a Debt Relief Order (DRO) could end up being very useful for you, assuming you fit the criteria. It's a mini-bankruptcy of sorts and could allow you to get the debts wiped and start afresh within 12 months:


https://www.nationaldebtline.org/EW/factsheets/Pages/37%20EW%20Debt%20relief%20orders%20(DROs)/Default.aspx


If you want to discuss this advice in more detail, and don't mind the 80% likelihood of speaking to a Brummie, you're very welcome to give us a ring or web chat. In the meantime there's a lot more info available on our website (see signature).


Best wishes


Dennis
@natdebtline

andyfromotley

National_Debtline wrote: »

Hi DPU


If you want to discuss this advice in more detail, and don't mind the 80% likelihood of speaking to a Brummie, you're very welcome to give us a ring or web chat. In the meantime there's a lot more info available on our website (see signature).


Best wishes


Dennis
@natdebtline

Phew things would have to be grim to risk those odds!