Off work- Don't know what to do.

liuhutOz

I worked in a call centre for 5 years, one day I had a guy have such a go at me that I put my head set down, got up and said that I'm going home sick, I got signed off for 6 weeks and never went back. The stress of that job was just awful.

Fast forward 8 years, I have just finished a uni degree, I was working part time and studying part time. It was hard work but well worth it. In the meantime we got married, it cost very little as we didn't want a big day.
I'm just thinking about your situation, why delay starting to live your future just to save for one day, a wedding? Why not opt for a low cost day and bring forward your starting uni, why put it off?

I hope your meds are kicking in and starting to help you feel less distressed :-)

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

AfterAllThisTimeAlways wrote: »

Hi there :hello:

Thanks for the recent messages. The meeting on Monday was ok..I wrote out a few things before it in the hope it would help keep me composed but of course when asked to explain the ‘background of the issue’ I got all overwhelmed & upset. Manager just sat there in silence when I was crying- no offer of a tissue or asking if I was ok or reassuring me, just a ‘if you don’t want to go into detail you can just say that’. NO people skills whatsoever...sigh.

It was just more of the awkward questions about what ‘actions’ the doctor gave me & what I was going to do to fix it all. It was all just so ‘manager speak’ & quite impersonal. I guess thats just his personality though & may have been handled better by someone else but hey ho. He has agreed to refer me to occupational health to see what support can be offered to help me back into work & agreed another meeting in 4 weeks time to review things.

I had another appointment with the doc yesterday & explained I wasn’t feeling much different- anxiety levels still through the roof & not feeling much more positive. He signed off for another 4 weeks & started me on 10mg of Citalopram for 2 weeks to see if that makes any difference to anxiety levels & sleep. I literally was a nervous wreck on Sunday night before the meeting & having that to think about the whole time since I was off didn’t help.

However on a more positive note, OH & I adopted a puppy at the weekend. Could be seen as not the best thing to do given how I’m feeling, but actually it’s been great. It’s made me get up everyday instead of sleeping & although she can be hard work, it’s been so nice to have something to think about that isn’t a cause to feel worried or stressed. Can’t wait until we can start taking her out for walks too, the regular exercise & chance to get out and clear my head will really help me I think.

Other than that I’m waiting to hear back from the occupational health & also a referral from the docs to a local mental health support service. So hopefully once I get speaking to some professionals I can start to make sense of it all & look for ways forward.

Thanks

Lots of people would think a manager not demanding to know every detail, being prepared to sit in silence and wait for you to talk and not fussing over them, is actually an appropriate response; I know from experience someone saying 'poor you, here's a tissue, are you OK?' would probably have met with an 'of course I'm not OK. That's why I'm signed off' and would have irritated or upset me no end. The more common approach from call centre managers would be a whole lot more insensitive than that - because you're not feeling well at the moment, it would be hard for anybody to give exactly the desired response. Being referred to occy health is again an entirely appropriate response.


What arrangements have you made for the puppy to be looked after when you're back at work or at university/out? Without having plans for that, it could be a whole lot harder for you to actually go back and may cause you more anxiety about your return - the longer you're off, the harder it often gets to face it all again.

Practical matters may sound hard headed to you, but it's too easy to end up on long term sick, something that can add to depression, anxiety & stress and make it even harder to recover.


Depression sucks, though. I hope you feel better very soon.

AfterAllThisTimeAlways

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Lots of people would think a manager not demanding to know every detail, being prepared to sit in silence and wait for you to talk and not fussing over them, is actually an appropriate response; I know from experience someone saying 'poor you, here's a tissue, are you OK?' would probably have met with an 'of course I'm not OK. That's why I'm signed off' and would have irritated or upset me no end. The more common approach from call centre managers would be a whole lot more insensitive than that - because you're not feeling well at the moment, it would be hard for anybody to give exactly the desired response. Being referred to occy health is again an entirely appropriate response.


What arrangements have you made for the puppy to be looked after when you're back at work or at university/out? Without having plans for that, it could be a whole lot harder for you to actually go back and may cause you more anxiety about your return - the longer you're off, the harder it often gets to face it all again.

Practical matters may sound hard headed to you, but it's too easy to end up on long term sick, something that can add to depression, anxiety & stress and make it even harder to recover.


Depression sucks, though. I hope you feel better very soon.

I completely understand what you mean about managers response, absolutely sometimes just giving someone a minute to calm down is all they need, however it's difficult to explain on here just exactly what he's like. He's had several people put in grievances etc about him due to how he treats people, he's just very process driven & tick boxy. As I said though, it's just his personality so not letting it bother me too much. As for the occupational health, his actual response was 'I don't see why you need that,it's not like it's an injury or something'..it was only when I referred him to official policy that states OH can actually be particularly helpful in mental health situations as well as early intervention can be crucial to prevent long term issues. So again...not exactly the best response from him.

With regards to the pup, we're already getting her used to spending periods of time on her own. She's sleeping through the night in the kitchen on her own with no problems already which is great. I've also been keeping her in there for 1-3 hours at a time during the day without me as well. When I initially go back to work, I can either nip home on lunch or ask my cousin to pop in.

Trust me I don't want to be off long term-day time TV is bloomin awful! I do think I'll join the gym next week. I feel ready for facing the weight issues & would enjoy a bit of exercise as I'm not doing ANYTHING at the minute, at least in work there were stairs I had to walk up! Also it means I'll be out of the house for a bit, again helping me & pup with separation