Struggling to get out of the BNPL trap

[Deleted User]

Hey Guys & Gals,

Just on here for a wee moan at myself really.

I am just struggling to get out of the trap I have found myself in since I was 18 years old (I am now 32) with buying on catalogues or credit cards & not saving & paying for it when I already have the money.

I have a diary on here but just feel like a bit of a fraud as I have spent hundreds on my credit cards in the last few weeks, every time I post I need to increase the amount of debt I owe instead of it coming down like it should be.

I have been so used to living like this & its something that really needs to change but I am struggling with it!

Anyone else in the same situation?

Dxxx

sourcrates

Deleted_User wrote: »

Anyone else in the same situation?

Hi,
At a conservative guess, I would say maybe half the adult population at one time or another has done this.
I suspect you have not yet had your "LBM", and until you do, this cycle will probebley continue.

You have to want to change your spending habits, but realising this, and acting on it, are two different things.

Most people hit rock bottom before they realise change is the only option, I suspect that may be your wake up call also.

FinallyGettingFree

Why do you think you keep spending? If you *think* you want to get out of debt while you are simultaneously racking up more consumer debt then there is obviously something going on.

It sounds like you need to take some sort of accountability. Have you tried a decent budgetting system? Something like You Need A Budget and it's "Give Every Dollar A Job" rule means that you really have to think about where your money for catalogue clothes is coming from.

It really helped me be aware of what money I had and what I needed it to do.

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the replies.


I need to sort my self out.


Dxxx

12_month_challenge

Hi Dolly
Debt busting is not easy and is taking up all of my time at the moment, mentally and physically. Are you allowing yourself any funds for treats etc. Maybe you are looking for ways to cheer yourself up a bit.

Not much practical advice from me as I'm not as experienced at debt busting as some on here. I just wanted to wish you luck and hope you get back on track
x

tlc678910

Hi Dolly,
perhaps it might help you if you to try to get inspired about the Eco and anti consumer side of money saving. For example instead of wanting to improve your financial position so you can buy more stuff (and so still seeing stuff as desirable and tempting) you could try reading people's blogs who look at buying excess stuff as damaging our planet and their future financial security, so buying "stuff" is not desirable and buying used beats buying new. I have read a bit of Mr Money Mustache and find him quite motivating.
Good luck
Tlc

andyfromotley

another mmm fan and try living stingy too. Both good at making you question your attitude to money and spending.

enthusiasticsaver

You obviously know what the problem is - buying lots of stuff you probably don't need and instead of budgeting and saving for it you are buying it on credit like many many other people. My suggestion would be is that you concentrate on writing a budget and before you buy anything maybe stop and think for a day about whether you need it or just want it. Is the spending a reaction to something else - ie stress or boredom? Find something else to do other than shopping which does not cost you money. You can go for a walk, read a book, do some gardening, clearing out cupboards is therapeutic or make an arrangement to meet a friend for coffee (MSE at each others houses rather than expensive cafes).


Catalogues seem to be your downfall so ditch them, they are an expensive way of paying for stuff and start to get in the habit of saving for things you need or working within your monthly budget. Get rid of all your credit cards and deal only in cash. That will make you see what you are actually spending in hard cash.

[Deleted User]

Thank you

D xxx

AspiringButAnxious

I was in the same situation. I have spent thousands on clothes, electronics and jewellery that I didn't need. I'm now free, but it was hard work: I had to address the issues which were leading to my impulsive spending and face the fact that I couldn't afford to continue spending like mad and hoping I would magically find or earn more money when I had to pay.

I also challenged my thinking that I deserved nice things — who am I to think I deserve so much more than those in genuine poverty? I'm lucky to have food and shelter; I don't need trendy clothes and loads of possessions. It doesn't mean I'm more successful or valuable if I have more "toys" than other people. So I decided to opt out of the pressure of consumerist society. It's a process and I'm still learning, but I try to question all of my purchases and why I'm cling on to certain possessions. I still like nice stuff, but now I'm more likely to buy things I genuinely value, love and use.

While that was happening on an emotional/intellectual level, I took practical steps to curb my spending. I no longer browse Very, because the temptation is too great. I cut back my spending on everything and saved enough money to pay off my Very account (which I had reduced to just the cost of my laptop, on 12 months BNPL). If I want something now, I put it on my Amazon wishlist and wait until I can afford it or save enough vouchers from doing surveys. More often than not, I end up deleting the items after a couple of weeks.

[Deleted User]

Thank you aspiring.

Dxxx