separating.

myright

Hi guys

Things have not been good recently. My Mrs has mentioned she wants to separate. I sometimes think it's not worth living a sad life like I am at the moment as we where there isn't any love. I've tried my hardest but she doesn't show any real love back as couples should.

My biggest concern is my children I have a 2 year old child and I fear that my Mrs will refuse me seeing her. She knows I love my daughter so much. She sometimes uses her against me. Saying I can never see her again when we have an argument. I don't know how she can day something like this. But when we're okay . She will say she only said it to hurt me, but she wouldn't do that. But I'm not sure about that.

Anyway, if we ever separated I will always pay for child maintenence in my daughters account every week. So that's not a problem.

My only concern is that my Mrs might stop me from seeing my daughter. As a father do I have rights ? Can I legally see my child? Would I have good chances if it went to court at the event of her refusing me?
I've always been a law abiding citizen , always worked hard.

I hope someone can tell me.

Thanks

Mojisola

Contact http://www.fnf.org.uk/ - Families Need Fathers.

As your wife is already making threats, you will need to know how to handle the break-up so that your child doesn't lose out.

Check about the child maintenance - it is paid to the Parent With Care, not directly to the child. You could get caught out and have to pay twice.

It isn't automatic that the mother becomes the PWC these days. Do circumstances allow you to become your daughter's main carer?

duchy

You wouldn't be able to pay child support into an account for your daughter. You'd pay it to her mother as the resident parent to contribute towards her daily needs -housing, food,clothes etc. Even if you paid money to your daughter's account her Mum could still claim support on top https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance to see what you would have to pay.

This is entirely seperate to any divorce settlement - which generally starts at 50/50 but with such a young child could be dramatically different depending on your personal circumstances.

KARO

You said children in your first post.. is there another child involved, too?

myright

I meant to write child. I only have a daughter. I can't bare to loose her.
And I didn't realise I had to put it in the mothers account. That's fine . I will pay into her mother's aaccount.

How could I ensure that I get to see my daughter at least twice a week like for a full day or at least something close to that. More than twice would be even better. I have to of course cane my work around this. But I can't bare not to see her. I wouldn't be able to live.

Does the wife rights to refuse me seeing her ? I'm on the birth certificate

Mojisola

myright wrote: »

I will pay into her mother's aaccount.

And mark the transaction as "Child Maintenance".

How could I ensure that I get to see my daughter at least twice a week like for a full day or at least something close to that. More than twice would be even better. I have to of course cane my work around this. But I can't bare not to see her. I wouldn't be able to live.

Does the wife rights to refuse me seeing her ?

She doesn't have the right to - but some PWC do mess the other parent around and it may all end up in court.

It's quite normal for the NRP (non-resident parent) to have the child every other weekend and one day/night during the week but couples have to work out what's best for them and the child and can come to any arrangement that suits them.

Child maintenance is reduced if the NRP has the child over a certain number of nights a week so that's sometimes a cause for arguments about contact hours.

lisa110rry

Myright, my heart goes out to you. I know nothing of separation or divorce, but I know I would have struggled not to have full custody of my son and so would my husband (our son is now 33 and of course fully independent, in fact married to lovely lady). You just keep trying to be positive, hun.

DKLS

Get yourself a decent solicitor

l3xi

@myright: others have posted very good advice, I don't have much to say on top of this except keep a record of all her emails and everything she says (threats etc). A friend of mine who's a solicitor told me to do this as a safety measure in case thing go wrong and we get to court (we never did).

Also keep receipts for things you buy for your child and proofs of any payments that you make to your ex post separation - household bills, paying for a swim class, maintenance payments, etc

Best of luck!

KRB2725

Have you tried relationship counselling to see if you can work things out? It may be worth a try if you are both willing.

PlymouthMaid

You must be so worried. Try to talk to you wife without arguing and threatening each other - the bottom line is that you have a joint responsibility to keep your child healthy and happy and that includes seeing her Dad. If you can reach an agreement about this without solicitors then you will save a lot of money but this is not always possible. Mediation may be a way forward if you need a third party to help this process.

If you can stay friendly at least on the surface it will help as, whatever agreements are reached, they sometimes need a little compromise on both sides to work. For instance, my ex sometimes had to see daughters on different days as they had plans to see their friends or go to a party etc (not the case for 2 year old yet anyway). Your wife should be pleased that you are not one of those men who want to walk away entirely. I wish you luck. Keep your records as mentioned above in case things turn nasty.