Misery Loves Company - Please Help!!

MadFerrit_3

Hi, I’m trying to finally get the monkey of my shoulder and skeletons out of my closet after years of doing my best ostrich impression and hiding my head in the sand. I don’t where to start regarding where it went wrong or what the relevance actually is, things got pretty messed up and now years later I find myself at last (emotionally) happy but financially a trainwreck to say the least. About 5 years ago me and my ex girlfriend lost our baby and since then life seemed to spiral out of control which led to a kamakazi spending spree on credit cards, loans etc in what we we’re hoping to find some solace for our loss. I was then 20years old and what did mortgages and credit ratings matter? Live young, die fast..and broke it now seems. We, unsurprisingly, split up after 3 months and the years that followed would result in chaotic spending and just changing my correspondence address at the first sign of any credit agency chasing money. For a while it seemed great, I was living well and couldn’t care with the circumstances that I would duly find myself in later in life, if I could transport back in time I would slap the **** out of my former self to a pulp, but Mr Hawkings is yet to create such a device which leaves me in the scenario you find your author today.
I now do not how much debt I am in and it scares me to the point of, not suicide but close, sleepless nights, arguements, etc, I’m sure you lot can relate. I’ve been reading this website for the past 3mths on and off and toying with the idea of posting instead of dreaming of dodging my debt all together by running away, thats not going to happen, but what a dream...
I know that I need to get in touch with Experian but am scared of what I will find there, I am due to start University in October with my girlfriend (unaware of my problem!). I love her to bits and think that she may leave me if knew what position I’m in. I have a plan, as I’m fortunate enough to be getting a grant from Uni and a student loan that doens’nt come under the credit radar I was thinking of somehow working through Uni and paying my debts off with my grants/loans? Anyone think that this is a clever/stupid idea? The loan is only going to come off my wage albeit when I get a job over 15k and is at such a low interest rate?
First port of call will be the credit report and with that I should be able to assess the situation and who knows, maybe it wont be that bad...on the other hand? I’m concerned that once I contact the credit agencies that I am going to get an influx of letters from debt recovery hunting for my blood..would this happen?
Anybody got anything to add to my dilemma, I’m really petrified of the state I’m in. Please help..Misery needs company (and some money??)
Thanks and a thanks to Martin for setting up such a life saving website, you should be knighted!

Sagaris

I won't even try to offer advice (there are others around here who know what they're talking about!) but I would say please don't be miserable - we've all done silly things and would love to turn the clock back.
Are you sure your g/f doesn't know? Or at least have her suspicions? You might be best to tell her what's going on - if she truly loves you for YOU and not your money, she will be shocked and disappointed - but might also be glad it's out in the open, and may even be able to help you in lots of ways, if not financially - a worry shared is a worry halved and all that.
Well done for posting, though, you have made the first step - it's tough but you will turn things around.

Shineyhappy

Well done for posting, it is always hard to ask for help or support.

I think the first thing you should do is sign up to Quidco (www.quidco.co.uk or .com), this is a cash back site and you can join for free, you have to pay them five pounds from your earnings later, and then sign up for a free Experian trial (remember to cancel before you have to pay!) This will help you to work out what you owe and to whom.

I would also draw up a statment of affairs, a list of all your incomings and outgoings so you can see exactly what finiancial position you are in.

Do you have any savings? Or a lot of junk to Ebay/sell? If you can raise some cash you maybe able to offer some of your creditors some money ie 2/3rds of the debt to pay off all the debt in a full and final settlement. If they havent been able to trace you, then accepting 150 out of 250 is better than nothing for them.

When you have your debts and statment of affairs, post them on here and you should be able to get a lot more detailed advice.

Have a good nosey round this site as there are some great tips and advice on budgeting/getting freebies/haggling with banks/reclaiming bank charges/cutting internet costs etc.

Good luck and keep posting!

trying-very-trying

Hi, madferrit, and yes you have come to the right place for advice and support. don't see how that will help you solve this problem.
I think you need to get all your statements together, and add it up, just how much debt you are in. Then after you have a cup of strong black coffee, post up a full statement of affairs on here, and you will find loads of experienced good people will give you loads of good advice on how best to tackle your situation