I dont like my invites 8 October 2015 at 11:56AM in Weddings & anniversaries 9 replies 2.2K views

skea56

If anyone has any experience of this, or suggestions of how I get around my dilemma, I would really appreciate it.

Wanted really simple invites, got a local printer just to print invites with the outline of a bride and groom, with the intention of adding a little ribbon for a bowtie onto the groom and a few diamantes on the dress to add a little sparkle.

I was happy enough to do them myself, but my friend then stepped and offered her services, and since I'm busy with work and rushing to fittings etc, and other wedding related stuff, I thought happy days, I'll take whatever help I can get.

Got a prototype printed and experimented with different sized jewels and eventually decided on about 4/5; one in the brides hair, the rest randomly through the dress, and then just the slightest hint of glitter to top it off. The invite itself was printed on glossy card and so there was already a slight sheen to it.

Called with my friend the other day, and she had all the invites complete with diamantes but no glitter. I was kinda looking forward to helping with them myself, and even though there were more on them than I had agreed, they actually look nicer anyway so I didnt make a big deal of it. Said I would return at wknd and we could finish off the glitter addition.

Ended up I didnt get round that wknd due to having the cold, but went the next wknd instead. She had gone ahead and glittered them, as she thought I wanted them done asap. Well yes I did cause I wanted them addressed and ready to post by Halloween, but they're not what I wanted at all. She has added a line of diamantes across the hair to give the illusion of a tiara, there's a belt of them across the waist and the dress has been completely glittered now. They look extremely tacky, and not the simple look I was going for.

What happens now? I'm really not happy with them at all - there's about 15-20 I could possibly salvage as it turned out she had done them as i had asked to begin with, but then decided to go back over and add more,and ran out of glitter. So there's a few that aren't too bad, but the rest are totally ruined.

Was so taken aback when I saw them, I didnt know what to say, I was initially hurt that she'd gone ahead and done them without including me, but now I'm upset they're just not right.

Should I just bite my tongue and sent them on to spare her feelings or order new ones and do them myself. If i do decide the latter, do I tell her?

Really do not need this right now.

Appreciate any thoughts you may have

sk56

rdone

Tell her, but speak nicely to her. Explain it wasn't her choice to change what you wanted.

Did you tell her that it was halloween your deadline and not yesterday?

skea56

Thanks.
There was no deadline set as such. I just wanted to get them out of the way before Halloween as we've a big project beginning 5th Nov at work and it will keep me busy.

Sk56

pickledonionspaceraider

eeek - difficult situation. If it were me, I would not say anything and use them - to spare my friends feelings.

Your friend has put time and effort into doing something nice for you and clearly is excited for you and wants to help with your wedding prep - and I would hate to rain on her parade, it would make me feel guilty and however nice you say it, it could still be a difficult conversation

At the end of the day they are just invites, and sadly most people (other than close family maybe) will likely bin them. Which sounds awful, but meaning to put it in to context here really that your friends feelings are more important than a tad too much glitter.

lika_86

Send the ones you don't mind out to closest family and friends, send the rest out to everyone else. The things that brides fixate on are generally the things that nobody else notices or cares about.

burnoutbabe

As you are not paying her, to say anything bar "thank you so much for your help" would be very rude.

cashewnut

They're just invites. I'd still use them but maybe send the ones you don't like to people you know won't judge you on them

We accidentally put the wrong year (!!!) on the rsvp for our homemade evening invites. Fiance said he wasn't prepared to do them all again so I've neatly doctored it with black pen!

Sue.D.Nim

Use the ones that are ok, send her one of the OTT ones, then re-do the rest yourself how you want them. If she happens to see a mutual friend has a simple one and mentions it, you can just tell her that they got one of the ones she didn't go over again with extra glitter and jewels.

skea56

Thanks to everyone for you replies. I did sit back and think maybe I was over-reacting a bit; as some of you said they're only invites. So took them home to guage reaction from the rest of the family, but didnt tell them I wasnt happy. My mum kind of had the same reaction as me...complete silence and then said, most unconvincingly "Theyre nice...." My sister's on the other hand were more forth-coming, and told me I couldn't send them out as they looked like my 5 yr old nephew had done them.

Have ordered new invites which will be ready today and will do them myself.

I have decided not to tell my friend, there are some invites that aren't too bad, so I will send one of these to her and her family.

sk56

wifeforlife

skea56 wrote: »

Thanks to everyone for you replies. I did sit back and think maybe I was over-reacting a bit; as some of you said they're only invites. So took them home to guage reaction from the rest of the family, but didnt tell them I wasnt happy. My mum kind of had the same reaction as me...complete silence and then said, most unconvincingly "Theyre nice...." My sister's on the other hand were more forth-coming, and told me I couldn't send them out as they looked like my 5 yr old nephew had done them.

Have ordered new invites which will be ready today and will do them myself.

I have decided not to tell my friend, there are some invites that aren't too bad, so I will send one of these to her and her family.

sk56

Thats exactly what I would have done, yes your friend was very kind to lend a hand, cost and her time to do this but she should have waited for your guidance

I would mention to her, you have mixed and matched the invitations as there was some inconsistencies but you really appreciated her help