Lost confidence

BREEZE

I left a full-time job a year ago to care for a sick relative and for some time I have been looking for something part-time. Recently, I had a call from an agency who arranged a telephone interview for me with a call centre. The agency later rang to say I had done well and the company want me to start work. I had to attend to sign a contract but when I walked in the door and saw all the computers I just felt I can't do this and said I had changed my mind, apologised and left. I feel so bad now, why didn't I just give it a try.

[Deleted User]

Plenty more jobs out there, don't bash yourself or let anyone else for that matter.

Was it a mammoth call centre? the one thing you need to understand is staff turnover is high in some of these places, if it was large try somewhere small, the size of a call centre -and it's people can make all the difference.

Don't worry I chickened out of a job interview only last week that an agency couple of years ago would have sold as 'easy'... I realised by talking direct to the employer it was a fairly complex role and required the mathematics knowledge I just don't possess independently with the greatest will in the world, a lot of these companies want people who can do the job at assessment day, so better to learn before in your own time.
You will get somewhere again

pmduk

I don't know how long you've been in the job market, but all of these computers have replaced dozens of files and filing cabinets which were equally off-putting. Try to think of them as making your job easier not more difficult! I remember one call centre which employed 3 or 4 people just filing call records so they could be recalled the next day!

ETA perhaps try some voluntary work to get you back in the swing of things?

patanne

I think that being in a full time caring role (for a family member not an employment role) you lose your sense of self if you don't manage to do something on a very regular basis just for YOU. For example, how easy would you find it to ring up a plumber for YOU, not for the person being cared for but for you. So to get yourself back, you need to do something that is just for you. When did you last stop out for a coffee when doing the shopping? Or did you dash straight back? Take a walk round the local garden centre just admiring the flowers. Get 'yourself' back and getting a job will just fall into place.

ETA (edited to add) I'm still working on the plumber!! A few months down the line. I WILL get there! Honestly!

DoctorDoom

Hi Breeze

Sorry to hear about your experiences. It is easy to lose confidence. However, you can and will get it back.

When I returned to work after a period of unemployment, it did take me a while to get back into the swing of things. About three months after returning, my manager took me into her office and said I had done really well. Her comments were something like, "You were so quiet when you started, so lacking in confidence - and you barely made eye contact. And yet you've done really well and are even training others."

We do live in a society where people are made to feel worthless if not in a paid role, whether that is unemployment, a career break, caring for someone, etc. I do believe various rags and mainstream media contribute to that unfortunate mindset. Even individuals don't help. Notice how, if you're at a party or in a social setting, one question that may come up is not "Are you in work or how do you fill your time?" but "What do you do for a living?". There is the assumption that everyone is in some sort of paid role. The reality is, not everyone is. Nor is everyone in a paid role throughout their entire life. Somehow, if we're not contributing to Gideon Osborne's GDP via paid work, we are made to feel worse.

Pmduk is right to suggest voluntary work. I have done that, myself. Initially it was low-key, more relaxed and there wasn't the expectations that paid work puts on you. Sure, you have to contribute, but as it is unpaid, you are allowed to go at a slower pace to begin with and build up your confidence. I'm sure you'll do it.