i will be bankrupt very soon, having suicidal thoughts

Sanjjj1189

I took out 3 unsecured £15K loans (nearly 20K each with interest), and lost it all on the stock market. I have maxed out my £8K credit card and £3K overdraft, plus an £800 overdraft and £210 overdraft

I am £72,010 in debt and about to lose my job...

but I cant just give up, I'd be a coward to leave my family who love me. so im at a crossroads now and really need some help ... I have no idea what to do and where to go, please someone help/direct me :'(


I have a question, I live with my parents, the most valuable things I own are my laptop and phone, will they take anything from my parents? I think that will send me over the edge if they do.


Please help,
Thanks in advance.

CKhalvashi

Nothing will be taken from your parents.

Bankruptcy is a personal matter, and it looks in this case that it may be the best option for you, as you'll be able to move on after either one or three years.

Why are you about to lose your job? Is it redundancy or due to something else?

Sanjjj1189

Thank you very much for not judging me, appreciate your help. Knowing my parents belongings will not be taken is a huge relief!!!


Now time to tell the G/F... I think i'll be a single man soon.

CKhalvashi

Sanjjj1189 wrote: »

Thank you very much for not judging me, appreciate your help. Knowing my parents belongings will not be taken is a huge relief!!!


Now time to tell the G/F... I think i'll be a single man soon.

I have no reason to judge. You took a business risk, and it failed, leaving where you are now. That's life, and the best thing anyone on the forum can do is try to help you with the situation you have at hand.

Before speaking to your gf, capture in your thoughts exactly how you got into this situation, and exactly how she can help you. It may not be over, and many on the forums have been pleasantly surprised at how well friends/family have taken it.

If you're about to become unemployed, now is the time to start looking, as you're more likely to find work if in work.

If you're having suicidal thoughts and/or need somewhere to turn, Samaritans can be contacted free on 116 123.

chrisjdw

There is always options and there is always someone worse off than you
I know it'll feel like a dark place right now but concentrate on getting yourself back in control and go from there. How do you know you're going to lose your job? I would be looking for work if it is the case because as a CK said employment is easier to find whilst still employed.

Just talk to your GF asap, if she loves you she will be there to support you through this, just dont hide it from her.

betterdaysahead

I agree with all the above. Your personal wellbeing is much more important than any financial matters. You might not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel but things will get better. You should get some proper advice to ensure that bankruptcy is the correct path to take - I found StepChange very good. If bankruptcy is the way forward for you, don't fear it and don't feel any shame. EVERYONE makes mistakes in life and bankruptcy will allow you to have a fresh start, which is likely to be much better than putting your head in the sand and hoping things will just get better by themselves, which they won't.

You should be proud of yourself that you are taking steps to address this problem. Once you go bankrupt, you no longer owe anyone a penny. Bankruptcy was the only way forward for me and I tried to convince myself otherwise for a couple of years. I too felt shame and worried what others would think. I declared myself BR 15 months ago and can honestly say it was a huge relief - a weight was lifted from my shoulders. The only people I told were my family, partner and a few close friends. All were supportive.

One thing I would recommend you do before going bankrupt is to go into the Co-operative Bank and open a Cashminder account. They no longer accept people once they are bankrupt but if you do it beforehand and then go BR they will not close your account. Just don't mention that you plan to go BR when opening it - just say you would like a basic account to better manage your money. A Cashminder account will provide you with a debit card and allow you to pay direct debits as with a normal account, and also allows you to have internet banking.

This site has been a fantastic help to me - feel free to ask any questions no matter how silly they may seem (I've asked enough!). No-one here will judge you, and the support is brilliant.

All the best!

Sanjjj1189

UPDATE -


Hi guys, so a bit of extra background for you, I am 25, was in a well paid job which I am going to lose (don't want to discuss why) ... I have filled out the two 6.27 and 6.28 bankruptcy forms, I used Step Change (they are wonderful) to help me understand the whole process and what to do ... I am going to make a basic account tomorrow with Barclays, then I will file for bankruptcy.


I have told my GF, she has been supportive, although there's a little tension because she is a student, so when we go out I have no money, and I keep telling her not to pay for me but she keeps insisting, I feel so low letting her pay for things. Today I have stayed at home because I cant bare to go outside, I feel this will ruin my relationship because I do not want to do anything fun anymore im so depressed.


I do have two questions, once I file for bankruptcy, the Official Receiver will see that I have used the loan money for the stock market and not "to buy a car", I am going to jail aren't I? ... the other question is the restrictions on me for bankruptcy, they last for a year but I have read in severe cases 15 years!!! will this happen to me?


I simply cannot believe how fast and easily I have ruined my life, just over a month ago I was dreaming of a nice house and car etc... now all gone.

nearlyrich

Nobody goes to prison for debt and there are people on this board who have lost money gambling and managed to get back in control, the most important thing is don't give up call the Samaritans tell you mum how you are feeling. I have a son just a little older than you and I know I would help him to sort this out if he was in your position not to give him the money but I would be there for him.


You haven't ruined your life you might have made things harder for a couple of years but you will be OK in the long term. If losing your job is anything to do with the financial affairs you need to think about the skills you have that you can apply to another type of work.


At 25 you have many years to be successful and you will be take care and keep coming here where people can offer help and advice.

skylight

Firstly, I have to echo the others - The Samaritans are a great organisation and they can help. Your emotional state is far more important than money.

It is just money.
You will not go to prison.

I am glad that your GF is being supportive. We all need someone backing us. But if you feel depressive then you need to make an appointment with your doctors. Take that from someone who refused to accept a pill ("Oh no, not pills") and forced myself to plod along. Anything your doctor may offer is there to help. And help it does.

xxx

Sanjjj1189

Thank you all for your kind words, and im hoping by thanking your posts others can see how kind and helpful you all are.. I expected to be ridiculed for taking out so many loans only to lose it all in the stock market, I was dreaming and wishing and young but I have learnt the error of my ways now.


I have great admiration for the people who post here, helping others and not judging. I am sold! I will keep updating my story on this thread to help others out in any similar situation to me.


nearlyrich thank you for your reply and help, would you be able to answer the second question I had? I have researched but not found anything specific to my circumstances. All the best to your family and your son you mentioned.

skylight

Even Kerry Katona who snorted most of her fortune was not restricted for 15 years. Now, you can never say never as each case is dealt with on its own merits, but most of us simply had/have the one year restriction for all sorts of varying reasons for BR in the first place.

The BR will stay on your credit file for 6 years so it will be very difficult to get credit in that time. (Not impossible, just difficult).