I've lost everything

calum555_2

Hi.

My first post here.

I have a major problem. I'm in so much trouble, beyond help really. But I'm hoping if I explain my issues someone might be able to advise just what's going to happen to me.

I have been suffering from a gambling addiction. Last week I hit rock bottom. I told my family and my girlfriend and even my boss about it and I have started counselling.

However, I did something really bad. I used my company card to send myself cash advances via PayPal to fund my gambling. I won it all back but paypal have locked my account as cash advances breach their terms and conditions. They won't let me withdraw it for 180 days.

I'm not talking small amounts either.its 24550 pounds.

So in 7 weeks time when I can't pay the bill work will find out.

I spoke to my dad and he suggested emailing my boss and telling him everything. I've done that now and I'm really scared about what's going to happen.

It's a corporate Amex. But shows my name and company name. I am liable for all payments and it is billed to my home address. But I'm really worried as my dad says it may be viewed as fraud/theft.

I'm really worried, what do you think my employer will do? It's a massive worldwide company. I've got a fairly senior position too.

Please don't tell me off. I know how crazy I've been. But it's like an illness and I am seeking help.

Thanks for reading

patman99

That's the problem with using Paypal. They have a nasty habit of putting people's accounts on 180 days till funds can be touched.

You have come clean to your boss, now all you can do is to pay back what you can each month until you can access your Paypal funds and transfer the outstanding balance to the credit card.
However, do not be surprised to find that your boss suspends the card and even reports you to the Police for fraudulent use of company assets.

I would suggest that you print out your Paypal statement and any emails between you and Paypal regarding the placing of your account on hold.
With this proof that the money is sitting there but is not currently accessable, he may well let you keep your job.

dawyldthing

If it's billed to your address then is there any way of paying minimum repayment (not ideal as you'll get a hefty interest accrued on it) until the problem is resolved. I'd also ring paypal to see if it can sort it out or see if you can reverseany of it back to your gambling site then transfer it to your bank (with some you only need to deposit a tenner then you can withdraw all the rest to that account. There's some that's funny but not all).

But if your spending that much money please please put restrictions on all accounts, even if it's £25 a week or whatever hopefully it will raise your own alarm bells when it's gone

Money_maker

patman99 wrote: »

With this proof that the money is sitting there but is not currently accessable, he may well let you keep your job.

I would read that as he may not involve the Police. I cannot see how you could possibly hold on to your job under any circumstances now and quite rightly so. This is a massive breach of trust and you are only coming clean as you have been forced to.

tomtontom

Which card is it? Most Amex corporate cards are charge cards - the minimum payment is the full amount. They also allow the programme administrator access to your spending records.

All you can do is be honest and show that you are getting help. Worst case - you'll lose your job and be prosecuted. It's going to be a tough time for you and for those around you - but people have got through worse.

[Deleted User]

Call the Samaritans. It grows on me this forum is all about 'entitlement' for the relevant qualifying people and how well you simply write a post...

2 and a half years ago I had a job offer withdrawn without a second thought due to being broke, today, they are more than happy to reconsider me, cannot think why...

fluffypaws

Maybe things will be OK but if not , perhaps loosening the job would be an opportunity to get your condition under control. Maybe you need CBT and counselling combined, maybe medication could help also. If you do become very unwell with depression for example, there is ESA.

calum555_2

Thanks for your replies. I'm in England but all my family are in Scotland. My folks have said that if I do lose my job to go home and at least that way I'll have my family around me.

Girlfriend has just left me... so now I don't really care about the job.

xapprenticex

Wow man, ive been in bad situations and had to come clean in the past but this takes the biscuit. Contact the credit card company or whoever it is that needs to be contacted, see if you can make payments without anything being flagged up and pay it all off ASAP.

If you cant pay it off, tell your boss ASAP and explain how you are going to pay it. I agree he may involve the police, maybe not. Id be very very surprised if you keep your job because gross misconduct doesnt even cut it here. Maybe you can get an organisation to mediate for you?

If you are a gambling addict, is it wise to have any money right now? Can you be sure you wont gamble what you have?

You need to get into therapy, there is a scheme where you get accomodation and they monitor and help you 24/7, like a proper rehab, like celebs do when they get addicted to drugs every other week.

I wont get into the illness thing, its a bit too liberal for me, for me its an addiction, illness allows the person to shift responsibility from themselves onto an 'illness', but I digress and wont discuss this further.

Hope you get your addiction under control, accept all the help you can get or youll end up hurting yourself and those you love.

Good luck

fluffypaws

calum555 wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. I'm in England but all my family are in Scotland. My folks have said that if I do lose my job to go home and at least that way I'll have my family around me.

Girlfriend has just left me... so now I don't really care about the job.

I would re-visit if your addition was stress and depression related, and re-think your career- if your job worsened your condition?. sorry to hear about your gf.

Oregon

Hey op
How are things