Do you ever wonder about the psychology......

[Deleted User]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Spent-Sex-Evolution-Consumer-Behavior/dp/0143117238/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441289877&sr=8-1&keywords=miller+spent
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Luxury-Fever-Money-Satisfy-Excess/dp/0684842343/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441289907&sr=8-1&keywords=frank+luxury
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Conspicuous-Consumption-Penguin-Great-Ideas/dp/0141023988/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441289939&sr=8-1&keywords=veblen+consumption
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Status-Syndrome-Standing-Directly-Affects-ebook/dp/B007N3HEEM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441289988&sr=8-1&keywords=marmot+status

LJB290

Wow - that is sad!
My grandparents were like that - always saving for a rainy day but it never rained (ok that would be nice).
they didnt do anything or go anywhere and didnt share it around until they died.
Maybe that has a bit more to do with who I am and the way I feel about money......
Hmmmmmmmmmm

lazer-zxr

Very interesting, thanks for bringing it up.
The sense of entitlement and for me initially due to poor personal financial education, a false sense of affordability.
It appears many people are
1)either caught up in this entitlement mindset and using debt to fund it (typically people of my generation, mid 20s to mid 30s), or
2)admirably - have saved very hard to fund what appears to me to be a lifestyle beyond their means (typically the older generation - my parents have done this to fund a holiday and a new car upon his retirement).
Having experienced the first, and now working hard to correct it, I'm really looking forward to the second. It''s strange to think my next mindset change, maybe to change away from saving, and start spending ... many years into the future ....

Anoneemoose

For me, it's definitely linked to low self esteem. I am getting better but falling into the trap of increasing spending as pay increases.

My parents never had debt and always saved for everything so I don't know why this didn't rub off on me - however, money was never discussed and I suppose it always felt taboo.

Also, I came from a background where we had a nice house in a very nice area and what I would say, 'good quality' things. I don't mean status symbols - my parents never drove, so no car, we went on sunny hols every 2/3 years and in between in the UK. We had things like quality housewares and clothing for example. Denby dinnerware, quality bedding, fabrics etc. things were made to last. We didn't have designer labels as such, but clothes were good quality too.'This was when M&S had a reputation for quality - uniforms and undies were from there. No cheap and cheerful. These of course, are just examples, but it's what I recognised as 'normal'. So, when I moved out and had my son at 19, it was a BIG learning curve not to opt for similar. I still went for M&S instead of supermarkets. I didn't cut my cloth to suit my pocket and ended up in debt.

Serendipitious

randomer wrote: »

Do you ever wonder about the psychology behind debt and (in my case) poor financial management. An over inflated sense of entitlement? A feeling of hopelessness?

I'm currently reading 'Overcoming Underearning' by Barbara Stanny which contains some very interesting insights. (Available in some libraries so it needn't cost anything!)

alexmi

FBaby wrote: »

I think there has been a shift in culture that values commercialism over investment. Our grand parents used to feel 'rich' if they could put money aside. As a society, we feel 'rich' if we have gadgets, newer car, beautifully furnished homes.

Unfortunately, it seems to now have affected kids even as young as those still in primary school. My kids school created a 'virtual' bank to teach kids about budgeting. As part of it, they did a survey and it showed that only 5% of year 6 knew what a mortgage was, and only about 10% understood the concept of insurance. I thought that was quite a shocking result.

A lot of adults don't understand the concept of insurance. Many people think that if they have paid into a policy for years without making a claim then they are "entitled" to something back.

YORKSHIRELASS

Yes, definitely. I was brought up in a household where money was tight and I remember getting teased at school for not having the right things. I studied hard and got a good job. But then I felt pressure to have the right clothes, the right car, a nice house, etc etc.

I got into debt and with the help of this website I saw the light. But I have never been able to truly let go of the idea that having the right "stuff" somehow makes me more likeable and more socially acceptable, which links back to my childhood I guess.

iolanthe07

My problem is the other way round. I have cash savings approaching £60K plus other investments that are tied up, but I just can't bring myself to spend money. I make do with a cheap car, though part of me would love a luxury model. My house is quite small, but we are happy here and don't want to move. We go on cottage holidays in the UK, but can't be bothered with all the fag of going abroad (we hate airports). We do indulge our grandchildren, but that's about it really. Sad.

selloptape

Thanks for asking the question - everyone's responses have been really interesting.

Just wondered if anyone else has noticed that on TV docs about debt (eg Bank of Mum and Dad etc) there is always a deep rooted psychological cause behind the spending? This gets played up on the show and then they have to deal with that before tackling their debts.

I'm just curious about spending triggers as I definitely comfort shopped when I split from my partner last Christmas, which I did rein in, but it worried me easy it was to spend to block out, if that makes sense?

sourcrates

iolanthe07 wrote: »

My problem is the other way round. I have cash savings approaching £60K plus other investments that are tied up, but I just can't bring myself to spend money. I make do with a cheap car, though part of me would love a luxury model. My house is quite small, but we are happy here and don't want to move. We go on cottage holidays in the UK, but can't be bothered with all the fag of going abroad (we hate airports). We do indulge our grandchildren, but that's about it really. Sad.

Its nice that you have such a large nest egg saved up, myself, I've never been able to do that, but really, what good is it doing you ?


I`m of the school of thought, that life is short, and if I had that kind of cash, I would spend a little of it, no need to go mad, but otherwise, its just going to end up as inheritance, just my thoughts !!