Preparing for the biggest move of our life

bellevie

Just had a browse, Im quite excited, the site has a lot of discounted cards which are reloadable.
So I could upload for example enough to cover the winter coat I have seen, but pay 10% less, and likewise for food. I think the biggest savings would be for me to upload a months worth of money for food, I would pay less than the actual voucher, and it may mean I stick to budget! They dont cover all the supermarkets, but for example when DD's uniform needs updating, most of that is from Tesco, Sainsbury or M&S, so I could preload the money and get my discount before I shop! There is 7% off an argos card which is where a lot of DD's Christmas presents come from!

No immediate savings as I've done this weeks shop, and an planning to use lidl / Aldi in the next few weeks, but I may consider starting a couple of cards for Argos & Tesco with Sept, Oct & Novembers pay so I am set for Christmas & birthdays! The saving with discounts will be more than my current esave account pays!

bellevie

Nothing to update money wise, I just need a place to vent.

I dont want to go into a lot of detail, but I also need to let some out before I explode!

I have been single forever, through choice / circumstance. I left DD's dad whilst pregnant, it took a long time for me to re-settle & find my confidence again. My confidence returning coincided with the loss of my nan, then when I got over that the loss of my mum.

3 years on from that, so earlier this year, I was pursued by someone. Initially I was having none of it. He carried on, and after weeks of gentle conversations eventually I relented. My goodness do I regret it.

I dont want to go into more detail, but I just cant shake the frustration. I thought I had made progress, I received a long awaited apology before I went on holiday (it was over long before that) and I felt the pressure evaporate from me as soon as it was said.
It was left at an apology by him and forgiveness from me nothing else - no going back.

Im trying to be relieved that its done, lucky escape etc, but I cant shake the disappointment in myself for not seeing him for what he was sooner. Especially after DD's dad. We spoke for a long time before I relented, and in those conversations, I told him things only one other person in RL knows! Likewise he shared private things so we both knew where the other was coming from. It was only then that I felt able to go forward, and my gosh what a mistake!

Its done two rather strange things to me, firstly I hadn't realised how much I missed company and the usual nice things that go along with being with someone. It almost planted a little memory seed, and nice memories from my past have come flooding to the surface. I'm remembering that its not all bad.

Secondly, I dont know how I stand a chance of weeding out the good from the bad if I didn't see this one coming. We met in RL, we are connected on an almost daily basis and I didn't see it. Until it was too late.

I will have to see the above man this week, I did genuinely accept his apology, I am forced to be connected to him for the time being so I was hoping this would make things less awkward day to day. In all honesty, whilst I have so much doubt in myself Im going to struggle to face him.

debtaghh

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that but don't be annoyed with yourself, it's not your fault. You seem very strong so just show him this week how strong you are by not appearing bothered ( I know easier said than done). Lots of us have let people into our lives and then have been letdown, remember they are the ones at fault not us. Cheer up and remember how wonderful you are doing! You should be very proud of yourself x

bellevie

thank you for your very kind comment

I have been doing my best to show it hasn't affected me, quite well I think. But inside its like a tornado about to burst through. Im so cross that I let him know so much about me, and that he used that to his advantage.
I am such a private person in RL, I keep everyone at arms length, and only allow a few people any closer than that. He slipped through the net and should never have been allowed into my life.

I know in time I will just deal with the fact that he KNOWs me and there's diddly squat I can do about it. For now though, it makes my blood boil.

Jumblerina

Hey Bellevie - just sat and read your diary on a lazy Sunday afternoon, you've done so well on your journey so far. Glad to hear you and DD had a great holiday I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the guy, I understand how you feel, when someone breaks your trust - it makes you feel so vulnerable. Take some time to be kind to yourself and I know it's a cliche but time will make things feel better.

Jumblerina

bellevie

Well that week flew past!

DD went into more breakfast club sessions than I had hoped, but I have a lot of morning appointments next week, so she will hopefully attend only once or twice, reclaw some of that money back.

It was quite a difficult week to start with the guy, he started to speak to me, and I quickly realised that if I didn't close the situation down I would be close to exploding. I said what I need to say and put an end to it all nicely, but permanently. I have felt a lot better since and havent been worried about running into him etc.

Got to get through lots of washing today, planning just to pop out and get milk, bread, cheese, ham, yogurts.

I need to have a full clean up things have got cluttered over the past few weeks and I will need all the drying space I can muster as the weather starts to turn. I havent used my tumble drier as its one of the recalled ones. They wont be out until January.....they offered a replacement for a fairly low price instead of repair, but I had held back as I felt if it wasn't faulty I wouldn't have to replace it - so why should I!
Now I'm thinking of the clothes on airers, doors, radiators, dinning chairs....it will drive me insane!!

I'll contemplate it a little longer.

I havent had to draw down into my savings for the first time in months!!!!! Payday in 10 days, so fingers crossed I shall be adding more to that figure then.

Work was busy busy busy in both roles, I felt a great level of satisfaction though I got through a huge amount, and of course a certain amount of relief when Friday came

Im going to have one more tea then get started on the housework - I have already got one load of washing done, but my ironing from last week remains untouched

bellevie

Quick stop at the mini Tesco as I just needed packed lunch items and yogurts, £7.17 spent.

I have updated spreadsheet, if I am able to put away the figures predicted my total savings by the end of the year will be 68% my original target. Its annoying, especially as I know I should have gone way above target if I hadn't spent so much trying to keep the old car!

DD wants a party this year, she didn't have one last year as we got Mr T. This year I will agree, though it will have to be cheap & cheerful. We are debating between pizza hut or bowling. Luckily there are less than 10 girls in her class, so I have said we will do girls only party. I feel sorry for the mums of the boys, they have to shell out for most of the class, or make some difficult choices!

Revisited the help to buy site, havent checked it out in a while. Prices locally, along with rent are still way out of my reach. 20-30 minutes down the road, they are reasonably cheaper. I still think I may end up moving to the cheaper office a few years down the line, but deep down I keep hoping to be able to find a way to stay! I know the only way to stay will be if prices crash, or increase pay.
My salary is reasonably good already, its just the buying alone with a small deposit that makes things a lot harder. If I was looking for a 1 bed place, I'd sail through without an issue.

I havent ruled out 1 beds, there was a 1 bed house up last year, but I didn't have the deposit needed. The bedroom was big enough to be able to be cut into 1 small double, 1 single and it was a lot cheaper than the 2 bed up the road.

4 Loads of washing done, lots drying out the sunshine today! A few more bits to do, but otherwise today should be quite a chilled day.

Tinkerbelle2000

bellevie wrote: »

I am liking your very organised signature!! Do you have a method, are you clearing them down in any particular order?xx

Hi Bellevie. Thank you, no particular order, one is a weekly payment and the largest is a family loan which I have been given some breathing space on but I will try to get rid of the smaller ones first. All are interest free apart from one so maybe should do that first.

Sorry to hear about the man trouble. I'm so anti man at the moment and after six months I'm still getting carp from him. This was terrible judgement on my side yet again. I don't think I'm good in a relationship or maybe I just pick the wrong type of person. I also separated from DD's dad when I was pregnant, this was not my choice though so I do have some trust issues.

Sounds like you are feeling a lot better about it now you have had your say though.

Tink xx

bellevie

Sorry Tink....I hope it stops for you soon

bellevie

oooh how I am relieved to have my peaceful Wednesday mornings back!!!

I done the food shop in Lidl after dropping DD off at school, spent £32.45.

I will hoover upstairs & down and get the floors mopped before I head off to work after lunch.

I didn't realise how much I had missed these few hours to myself a week!