One day at a time - support thread for compulsive gamblers.

andyfromotley · 27 July 2015 at 6:26PM

Hi,
i have thought about starting this thread for a while. We seem to be getting more and more Compulsive Gamblers (CG) posting on DFW and i thought it may be helpful to have a thread which offers a bit of support for those who are battling this illness.

So whether you are in recovery, abstention or still in the death grip of CG you're welcome. Its nice to meet you. Family and non CG are welcome too.

My name is andy and i am a compulsive gambler. I have not had a bet today or since 31/1/2014.

Bobarella · 27 July 2015 at 6:29PM

Andy - Im not, but I have seen you mention it before in your posts. And was watching something last night about how easy it is to run up huge debts very quickly. I just wanted to say, well done on your amazing strength of character to overcome this addiction.

andyfromotley · 27 July 2015 at 6:38PM

Thank you bob, thats very kind.

Having suffered all my life from CG i would not be in recovery without the help of others, through GA in my case. The feeling of being isolated and at a loss can overwhelm people. I just want them to know that they are not alone and there is way out for them.

Bobarella · 27 July 2015 at 7:32PM

And that is an admirable aim. To a certain extent, any of us who is in debt, has gambled. With our future. I know how much you want out of debt, I feel the same. Until I have a big fat zero in my signature, I feel I will not be content.
Anyway will get off your thread now, & hope it is of help to others who have been in your shoes.
Bob

**laura** · 27 July 2015 at 8:05PM

Hi Andy. My husband (also called Andy) is a CG. He's battled it for YEARS but recently did something stupid at work and ended up losing his £50k a year job. We have been in an awful situation since! He's joined GA and hasn't had a bet now since the 21st April - to my knowledge anyway, not sure it will always be very easy to believe everything he says and I have to admit to still wondering!
Good luck with your recovery, I have an idea how you feel but believe me it's hard for family that's affected too, I struggle daily because of his addiction!

jon8sher · 27 July 2015 at 8:25PM

Hi I am a CG. I have been betting online for the last 5-6 years. Things all came to a head this January where I had to ask my boss who is also a friend for some money to clear the payday loans I had run up in my and my partners name. It has been a hard slog with relapses on the way and we have had to borrow money from family too which kills me as we are a professional couple who should be having the time of our lives instead of being saddled with this debt which is going to haunt us for the next 5/6 years. We had already nearly paid off all our debts but then My bets got bigger and bigger. Everyday is a struggle but I refuse to let things get as bad as they were - New Year's Eve 2014 was probably the worst day I've endured through gambling. I know that if I give in to my urges again my partner will leave me and that's 17years down the drain and I cannot put them through that again. Good luck to every single CG.

GaryL1976. · 27 July 2015 at 8:50PM

I'm Gary and a compulsive gambler. Not had a bet today or since last meeting.

Still undoing 15 years of serious damage but 1 day at a time.

All payday loans now cleared, 3 overdrafts and 1 credit card too.

Just 3 credit cards and 2 loans to go but going downwards and not up.

Just for today, I will not gamble

[Deleted User] · 27 July 2015 at 9:40PM

I'm a CG. I went 6 days last week without gambling which was an achievement for me but then I got paid on Friday and felt compelled to gamble it.

Thanks for starting the thread as I really need help but don't feel able to go to GA.

I am due to receive an inheritance soon which will clear all my debts and give me a fresh start but I'm also scared I'll be tempted to gamble some of it.

My longest period of abstinence in the past was about 5 years and I did that on my own so I know I can do it. :think:

andyfromotley · 28 July 2015 at 12:46AM

Hi,

welcome one and all.

Laura - hi, i'm sorry to hear about your husband. Its a sadly familiar story. He is the right place. Don't worry too much about trusting your husband. The fact is most compulsive gamblers will gamble again at some point. We don't react well to trust as we easily abuse it in order to gamble. Love and support we need, trust, not so much. Being fully involved or in charge of the finances will definitely help. Gam anon exists to support the family of compulsive gamblers. http://gamanon.org.uk . Finally theres an old saying for family members. Remember the 3 C's

You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
You cannot cure it.

Gary - hi, Great stuff mate. working the program ODAAT.

611 - Hi, each day without a bet is a success. I'm sorry that you feel that GA isn't for you can i ask why? There are other services around. Gamcare may be able to refer you to a counsellor. Google smart therapy in your area or speak to your GP.
I am very worried that you are about to get a substantial sum of money but are still gambling. Mt experiences tell me that i know what will likely happen to that money. Is there a plan you can put in place for someone else to manage it for you.
I had many periods of prolonged abstinence but i do know that abstinence is very different from recovery.

Its nice to have a space of our own on here, we shall keep trundling along ODAAT

andy