In a big mess. Ideas welcome!

TrickyWicky

Hey gang!

Ok.. bit of a story here so i will try to keep it short.

Some years ago i had some health problems creep in due to another health problem that was the root cause (untreated). This made life difficult workwise and as of 2010 I've had no job.

Miracles happened, disability went, came back, got worse, surgery, surgeon error, further emergency surgery, more surgery, then some more surgery, more planned.. oh and my original symptoms are back.. now under management with prescription pain killers :mad: In other words I'm in a worse mess than i was in 2010! Add to that an 8" two year old scar that started to reopen a couple of weeks back and I am severely limited when it comes to physical stuff.

Well Miss TW gave birth to little TW a short while back. Now we need to finance a move, she's put her career plans on hold to stay at home until next year and ... well.. I can't really see her wanting to go back to be quite honest.

So.. somehow i need to get back into work. I did have a couple of weeks temp work at xmas that was supposed to lead to something permanent (NMW but better than nothing after long unemployment) but due to my health.. they let me go.

So.. what on earth can I do? I'm in a big hole. Most of my working life has been in car parking (bad industry.. pays a living wage though) however i've no other skills and lets face it, employers don't really like ex traffic wardens (who can really blame them?).

Oh and just to make life a bit more tricky my missus doesn't actually want me to work - her plan is that i'm going to be stay at home dad.. even though she's showing no signs of going back herself... so me just finding a job will annoy her and will cause all sorts of other knock on effects but i cannot continue with no hope of income or doing anything with my life. Everyone needs some hope..

Anybody out there got any really good ideas please? (other than crawl under a rock)

bugslet

Well not much suggestion, but I don't think employers are bothered about what you did before and the fact it was as a traffic warden ( I wouldn't be) - they'll be more interested in what you can do and how your health will stand up to any job.

DomRavioli

If you're struggling, maybe speak to access to work - sounds like they may be able to help (you're not specific in your condition, nor how it affects you currently) if a disability is restricting you. There's also a disability employment advisor at most job centres - you don't have to sign on to get help - who have access to a lot of things such as training courses to get your skills up to date and disability friendly employers.

Might not be much but a leg up is a leg up!

mustang121

I would discuss with your wife about long term plans. If your wife's job pays enough to cover all your debits and living costs and is happy with you being a house husband. Then why not take up the offer? At least until they start school? You could use the opportunity to study towards new officer type qualifications like accountancy?


What does your health actually allow you to do? Could you do active jobs or are you really better suited at more office type jobs?


I very much doubt employers will overlook you because you used to be traffic warden and I'm sure there are transferable skills.


Have you tried St John's ambulance? They often require crews for patience transfers and provide on the job training.

Fireflyaway

I don't think being a traffic warden will put people off. You have to follow rules, deal with people , deal with tricky situations and remain calm under pressure - these are all really good qualities.

Could you look for a customer service job? Call centres for example are usually fairly easy to get into. You can quite often start as a temp and then to permanent. Or big recruiters in your area. Are there any large factories or companies you can approach directly? You don't seem against any particular type of work which is good.

Why does your wife not want you to work? Someone is going to have to bring money in. It will soon get pretty miserable with no money and a small child with both of you bored and hanging about the house all day! My husband stayed at home for a year as I earned more and then I went back part time when our child started school. I think you need to make and agree on a long term plan so you don't get resentful of each other or stressed because you have no money.

TrickyWicky

Hi guys!

Health wise i'm not able to do a lot of physical things. This is due to internal problems left by previous operations. I have a lovely 8" vertical scar running down my belly from an op two years ago. 2-3 weeks ago I over did something and the scar decided it was going to slightly open up... after two years :eek: I also have multiple hernias, feel further ripping inside daily, have to roll the duvet up and wedge under my tummy when sleeping on my side etc.... And then there is the original painful health problem that is still troubling me. It's under control thanks to prescription pain killers but it only holds it at bay while i don't do much - the moment i start doing anything physical i start to feel pain!

Anyhow the missus.. because she earns way more than me (works in care, got into the right organisation, right managers, right shifts, right enhanced rates etc.. then a student bursary on top). Anyhow she decided moons ago with no agreement from me that she would be the worker and i'd be stay at home dad. I wasn't happy about that and did say i wanted to work and have my own income but she wasn't happy with that... anyhow.. health got screwed, employers forced me out... operations... jobless!

I didn't want kids.. i make no secret of that but now he's hear i must admit he's incredible and i do actually enjoy being a dad.. but i still want to have an income!

Anyhow.. you guys have given me some points to think over so thanks for that, me and the missus are going to have to have a serious chat about this.

Thanks.. and keep the ideas coming if there are any more!

Takeaway_Addict

Could you look at something like call centre work?

BrassicWoman

You should have a discussion about how to split money while you are a stay at home dad. Then you will have an income. Women have been doing this for decades; it's just your turn now.

I'm a bit sad you describe your wife's success as being down to chance (right place etc)

Do you not think she is talented? Can you not bring yourself to be proud and supportive?

jaydeeuk1

If you're not physically able to work, how are you going to look after a 2-3 year old running round the house going crazy? For the first 12 months its pretty easy, but once the kid gets mobile any sort of course you want to do will have to be worked around what the kid is doing, unless you plan on shipping them off to nursery each day.