Could I have had Aspergers/Autism all this time?

TempletonP

Starting to cope with the realisation I may have had aspergers/autism all my life. I am 37 years old and struggling to cope with the fact about how I could have missed this and been oblivious to this all my life.

Researched heavily and fit many of the usual symptoms. Always struggled badly socially and my rigidness with routines holds no bounds! I suppose schooling in the 80s and early 90s, AS wasn't even picked up really.

I would class myself as reasonably intelligent, but trying to cope with the fact that it has taken 37 years to even realise this is an issue for me.

Does a proper diagnosis help or am I best off not knowing?
Does knowing I have AS/Autism benefit me in any way now?
How can knowing I have AS shape my life?

Interested to hear thoughts of people with AS or knowledge of, thankyou

jenniewb

I don't know what forms of help and support there are out there for adults with Aspergers or Autism but I do know they can test for it. I would advise asking for more than one professional opinion. I was tested not so long ago and given forms to fill (turns out I am pretty low on the scale and written off as not Aspergers which I could have told them if they'd listened to me in the first place!) The forms I was given I felt were all very vague and ambiguous in questioning and would for me easily change per day and even per time of day and what I am relaying the question to, so if you do get a positive result and want to talk about it, it maybe worth asking to do the test at another time, or a few months later to see if things are still the same. It could just be me but I also worry about how any said professional who is running the test may view the results and take a personal opinion on something which would differ per consultant. If I'd have a positive or borderline result I'd have asked not to discuss the result but for a second opinion and perhaps even a different set of tests.


Hope you get somewhere- I have a vague question over dyslexia (I struggle with some of the symptoms people with dyslexia also struggle with and find some of the advice given to those with the condition also helpful to me for the same reasons).


I was also a kid of the 80s and 90s and although a known learning disability at the time, it was not so well known and only viewed as something that affected children who were viewed as "failing" which I was not. I took 5 hours to do homework other kids did in 30 minutes but never raised it as an issue because I was ashamed- it goes without saying that I wish I'd asked for help because maybe there would have been support to make things easier, so if I were in your position, I'd ask for help with whatever it is you feel is setting you back because the worst that could happen would be for those in charge to turn around and say "no", and if they do, you have not lost anything, and it could even help if they can point you in the right direction even if they cannot help themselves.

Corelli

Hi, our family has been discovering Autism since our son was diagnosed a few years back. DH is certainly on the spectrum, now we know what to look for, it is very clear. After some months of coming to terms with this, he is pleased that he now has a reason for many of the difficulties in his life.

He has other health problems and his GP has had the attitude that it would be best to go through looking at them first. My feeling though is that if he has a diagnosis it would make accessing appropriate support easier later in life if it became necessary. For example, if I were to suddenly die I do not think he could cope at all with his own difficulties and those of our son.

My brother too, feels very aspergic and with a lot of support from myself he on the waiting list now to start the diagnostic procedure, it is long.

One thing to bear in mind is that how a person was as a child has a big bearing on their diagnosis. I know one person who is convinced that she is on the spectrum did not get a diagnosis because there was no feedback from family about her childhood. I am hoping my information will be enough for my brother as our parents are no longer around.

My feeling for you, Templeton, is that if you have had the drive and curiosity to get this far with your investigations then you sound as if you would like to know for sure. Good luck, whichever way you decide.

Better_Days

My sister obtained a diagnosis of Aspergers when she was in her late 40's, although she did have to push for it.

Looking back on our childhood I can see some aspects of the AS - she had no empathy whatsoever for her siblings who bore the brunt of our narcissistic mothers machinations. She was the 'Golden Child' to my mothers narcissism which gave her an inflated view of her place in the world. This has resulted in considerable problems for my sister in adulthood. My sister remains self centred - even though it is detrimental to the relationships with her siblings, and despite acknowledging that our mother's behaviour is unacceptable.

From the outside it is an interesting dynamic - my sister on an intellectual level can recognise that our mothers behaviour is unreasonable, unacceptable and damaging. However she sees the relationship with mother as personally beneficial - so continues even though this had damaged other personal relationships.

Then, and now, her view is 'I have to look after myself first', yet is unhappy that she doesn't have a partner or friends and has little contact with her siblings. OTH she was the 'social' sibling - went to brownies and guides, clubs and children's groups etc.

As an adult she has become increasingly intolerant of what she sees as personality flaws in others and now avoids social situations where she can.

I'm not convinced that an Aspergers diagnosis has helped her. It has simply given her an excuse to continue patterns of behaviour that have made her miserable in the past.

I have 3 nephews, one of whom is severely autistic and one who has Apsergers. My sister and the severely autistic nephew are more similar at an emotional intelligence level than the nephew with Aspergers. It's interesting because my sister has followed education to degree level but the autistic nephew at 13 still can't read or write.

OP, I'm not sure if you are male or female, but if you haven't already noticed, there does seem to be a difference in presentation for Aspergers depending on gender.

I would also say do pursue a diagnosis if you think it would be helpful. But see it as an opportunity to understand yourself better and improve aspects of your life that you are unhappy with. Awareness is the key. You can then make an informed decision as to the best way to go forward, and research techniques that help you to deal better with the behaviour patterns which are a result of Aspergers and which may cause you difficulties.

I wish you well.