When does the knot go

Itsnowornever

Hi all, I'm a newby whose lightbulb moment came last week. My hubby and I are in 33k of debt from just general overspending, not saving for anything with etc. I'd been hiding it but came clean to hubby last week and we've spent the weekend doing a (hopefully) realistic spreadsheet and hope to have paid it all off in 3 (long hard) years. BUT, I've still got massive anxiety about it, never get a minute off from thinking about it. So lovely people my question is, when did you stop being anxious about paying off your debts and just settled down to the job in hand?

greensalad

Probably the time I made a decent dent in my debt. Like two or three months worth of repayments.

At that point, I started getting excited about pay day and about paying off debts, rather than anxious. Payday would come around and I'd be already planning where to pay off, and excited putting it in the pot.

SeduLOUs

For me the anxiety lifted once I'd made the phone calls to sort out arrangements and payment plans. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted and like the poster above, looked forward to payday, making my payments and watching the balances go down.

I'm not debt free yet, but I'm on the home straight with all of my debt now at 0% interest, and likely to be paid off in the next 12 months. I never thought I'd see the day...

Good luck!

enjoyyourshoes

Fantastic, well done, commitment from both sides is key, so number one done, number two 'clear objective' (Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timebound) just check A & R (based upon the comments in your post) but sounds 75% done (another tick)


Now the strategy to stop the problem (as debt is a symptom) , sounds like you 'think' you know what the problem is now the detailed investigation into halting the problem(overspending, spending with incurring debt, bad debt management, poor purchasing decisions)


Loads sport and ideas on this website so use the resources at your disposal.


Knot disappears when you have confidence that you know the problem and its sorted (never to reappear), your know where you are exactly with all of finances, (debts, plan to pay for all bills now and due in future, daily reconciled running balance with is 100% accurate)


Once all that in place you will be happy again!


Work together, well done

poppasmurf_bewdley

For me, getting out of debt was something that happened over a period of about five years.

Five years after getting a separation and divorce, I woke up one morning and it dawned on me that I had no worries about debt any more. It had been achieved by living within my means and doing nothing stupid.

My lightbulb moment was when I walked into Comet to buy a video for my barely furnished bedsit, and couldn't bring myself to spend the £75 cash I had in my pocket.

We all (well most of us) dread being in the situation in which you find yourself now, but if you are serious and careful you will get through it, and be able to look back with relief and think "never again will I get myself in such a situation."

Good luck. You can do it.

sourcrates

My debt free journey started off slowly, about ten years ago now, I reached a point were I knew I couldn't meet all my financial commitments the following month, so I prepared the ground, so to speak, I wrote to all my creditors, telling them about my circumstances, and why I coundnt pay, unfortunatly the response was "tough, there's nothing we can do" which was par for the course back then.

I foolishly went with a fee taking debt management company, but only for a few months until, after lots of research, discovered I did not need to pay for this service, I ended up with the CAB sorting out a DMP. For me, but this was a time when DCA's were more aggressive than they are now, and despite making payments, the constant calls and letters never stopped, so I looked for a more formal solution to my debts.

I chose an IVA, and it was only when that was up and running, that I really felt the pressure ease, I was legally protected from any further action by my creditors, the letters and calls stopped, and life returned to some normality, and like others have said, I vowed never to get into that position ever again, so it can be done, just takes time, and effort.

Good luck with it !!!!

andyfromotley

When i knew i had

1. faced up to my debts.
2. made an effective budget that i was capable of sticking to.

with these two things done i finally felt in control of my finances and was able to relax. I still get a bit panicky when i lose control of my budget even by a small margin.

Itsnowornever

Thank you all for your replys, it's great not to feel all alone. Me and hubby are going to re look at budget tonight as I think we may have got it a little bit too tight. I want to be able to do this and maintain some sort of lifestyle eg odd pair of tights, a half at the pub once in a blue moon. Do you think we'll be able to lower the interest rates on our credit cards if we phone them or is that a big no no.

Karen777

hi - well done on getting this far. For me, the anxiety started to reduce once I had taken action and set up my dmp, then reduced again when the letters and calls from creditors settled down after a couple of months, then again when I set up my spreadsheets and started seeing figures going down instead of up - my anxiety decreased as my confidence increased and it's still working that way now - it comes and goes now but is in general much much much better than it was and I don't wake up in the night with palpitations and worry and fear any more, and I plan for a future I never thought i'd have.

sourcrates

Itsnowornever wrote: »

Do you think we'll be able to lower the interest rates on our credit cards if we phone them or is that a big no no.

It depends how you are going to tackle your debts, if you were to enter a debt management program, and pay your creditors less than the contractual payment every month, then yes, by all means write, not phone, write to your creditors and ask for interest to be stopped, don't ask, don't get.


If on the other hand, you intend to throw more money towards your debts, and overpay every month, then no, I doubt they would even consider doing that, as you will be meeting your contracted payments.


All depends how you intend to proceed.

Itsnowornever

Thank you, yes we intend to pay them all of over time so probably best not to bother, oh well.