PWC stopping child going to Uni

13Kent

Our Pwc is telling the child that instead of going to Uni the child needs to do an apprenticeship. The child is doing 4 a levels and is on track to get A's. My husband has tried to book open days at uni for the child go and have a look round, and is prepared to pick the child up go too in the hope the child will be encouraged to go. Unfortunately every time this has been arranged for some reason an excuse has been found for why the child can't go. The latest excuse came the same day hubby was due to pick the child up, and he'd booked hotel stays for them both which it was too late to cancel.

It's all about the money for the PWC because due to the CSA rules if the child does an apprenticeship then CSA payments and CB payments continue until the child is 20. If the child goes to Uni then the payments stop, and presumably the PWC will have some sort of obligation to provide some financial support for the child during the Uni years.

For us it makes no difference, the money we pay to the CSA we will simply pay directly to the child during the uni years.

I can't understand it, in my experience most parents would do anything to get an intelligent child to uni so that they achieve their potential and have the best start in life possible. I'm so cross that the PWC can do this nothing can be done to stop her. In this case in my opinion the continuation of CSA payments beyond 18 are certainly to the detriment of the child's future instead of for the benefit of the child which was the whole point of them in the first place, and yet again it makes a mockery of the whole system.

HappyMJ

Child must be around 17...talk to the child and let the child make their own choice after having all the options in front of them. Don't demand they go to uni just put all the options out there.

I would suggest to the 17 year old that they could come and live with me....go to uni...and get a weekly allowance from me if that's what's stopping the child making that choice. PWC is probably saying to child you'll get nothing if you go to university, do you really want to have no money. It's a hard choice, money is important....but so is a quality education.

PWC does not have any obligation to support child during uni years. Once A-Levels are finished PWC can ask child to leave home with no further financial responsibility at all. Not that any of us would do that.

13Kent

We've tried - it's not as easy as it sounds on paper - the child has been told that we are happy to give that support through uni, even if the PWC chooses not to - we are happy to do that to ensure the child makes the most of the opportunities available.

Unfortunately the PWC has the greater influence.

HappyMJ

13Kent wrote: »

We've tried, it's not as easy as it sounds on paper. Unfortunately the PWC has the greater influence.

Could the child come and live with you? It would therefore remove the PWC influence. The child is old enough to make their own decision and if you make it more attractive to live with you then the child might take you up on that option.

13Kent

We would have loved the child to come to live with us, my husband's biggest regret in life is that he has missed out on the day to day lives of his children ( not his choice I hasten to add, but the PWC's propensity for having affairs and eventually throwing him out so that she could move her boyfriend in). We would have the child with us tomorrow, as we would have done any time since we moved in together, as we made sure we got ourselves a house that was big enough to accommodate his children comfortably if ever the opportunity arose.

However there is absolutely no way the PWC would ever have or will ever allow that! It's all about the money to her, and she'd have to pay us CSA for the remainder of the eligible time - now that would be a novelty!!! The whole situation is all about her continuing to get CSA payments for an extra few years so letting the child move out of her home is definitely not an option!! She'll be busy telling the child how awful living away from home is and how the child won't cope being away from her in order to keep that child there for as long as the CSA liability is in place.

HappyMJ

13Kent wrote: »

We would have loved the child to come to live with us, my husband's biggest regret in life is that he has missed out on the day to day lives of his children ( not his choice I hasten to add, but the PWC's propensity for having affairs and eventually throwing him out so that she could move her boyfriend in). We would have the child with us tomorrow, as we would have done any time since we moved in together, as we made sure we got ourselves a house that was big enough to accommodate his children comfortably if ever the opportunity arose.

However there is absolutely no way the PWC would ever have or will ever allow that! It's all about the money to her, and she'd have to pay us CSA for the remainder of the eligible time - now that would be a novelty!!! The whole situation is all about her continuing to get CSA payments for an extra few years so letting the child move out of her home is definitely not an option!! She'll be busy telling the child how awful living away from home is and how the child won't cope being away from her in order to keep that child there for as long as the CSA liability is in place.

PWC has no say. Child is 17 ... almost 18 and can choose where they live. She sounds controlling but I'm only hearing your side of story.

If child moves in with you and goes to university there wouldn't be any payment of CSA from her to you. Personally I'd just forget about claiming CSA from her. Doesn't sound like it would be much anyway if she's not working, the assessment is around £5 a week it's something I just wouldn't bother with.

You can only encourage the child to make a decision regarding education and where they live you can't force anything but neither should the PWC be doing that either.

13Kent

It just wouldn't happen, the PWC's influence is so great there is no way that even if the child wanted to come to us she would allow it. She would use every trick in the book to persuade the child out of it. We've already been through something similar with Child 1 who wasn't allowed to do the course they wanted to do, was pushed into doing A levels although it was perfectly clear that the child was not academically at that level, all because of the money. That child ended up dropping out of Sixth Form as we expected as the course was too hard, and eventually doing an apprenticeship carefully selected so that CSA was still payable. During this time the child actually left home before therefore ending our liability for that child, but the PWC and the child lied about it and as the CSA took her word over ours we continued to pay CSA until we believed the liability had actually ended because the child was working in a full time job, we asked for a reassessment and funny enough we ended up with a repayment from the CSA for over payments - it seems the CSA hadn't been informed of this change of circumstance either.

So unfortunately we are well aware of the lengths the PWC will go to to keep her CB and CSA payments coming in.

missbiggles1

But she won't be able to get child related benefits if he "child" does an apprenticeship, neither will you have to still pay through the CSA when this happens.

Perhaps making the PWC aware of the facts could lead to a more positive outcome?

HappyMJ

13Kent wrote: »

It just wouldn't happen, the PWC's influence is so great there is no way that even if the child wanted to come to us she would allow it. She would use every trick in the book to persuade the child out of it. We've already been through something similar with Child 1 who wasn't allowed to do the course they wanted to do, was pushed into doing A levels although it was perfectly clear that the child was not academically at that level, all because of the money. That child ended up dropping out of Sixth Form as we expected as the course was too hard, and eventually doing an apprenticeship carefully selected so that CSA was still payable. During this time the child actually left home before therefore ending our liability for that child, but the PWC and the child lied about it and as the CSA took her word over ours we continued to pay CSA until we believed the liability had actually ended because the child was working in a full time job, we asked for a reassessment and funny enough we ended up with a repayment from the CSA for over payments - it seems the CSA hadn't been informed of this change of circumstance either.

So unfortunately we are well aware of the lengths the PWC will go to to keep her CB and CSA payments coming in.

Then there's nothing you can do...you're fighting someone who has more influence than you which you never have allowed. I do believe you can convince a 17 year old with straight A grades that going to university would be a much better choice in the long term than doing an apprenticeship...if this is really winding you up this much then you've really just got to put your foot down with this child and make them seriously look at the option of university. A 17 year old who has proven that they should be able to excel at university can take on a debate with you....at least I hope they are strong enough to have a debate with you. If PWC has made child so weak that they'll give in to any arguments put forward then they'll be no good as a manager in the future and probably not even that good at uni either.

Child is old enough to make their own decisions but as you say that decision is being influenced too much by the lure of a couple more years of lots of cash coming in. That cash should not even be in the decision making process.

HappyMJ

missbiggles1 wrote: »

But she won't be able to get child related benefits if he "child" does an apprenticeship, neither will you have to still pay through the CSA when this happens.

Perhaps making the PWC aware of the facts could lead to a more positive outcome?

Child benefit and therefore CSA continues with the right course chosen. A child doing an apprenticeship counts... see https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit-16-19

jackyann

Obviously this needs to be about what the young person wants - and apprenticeship (depending on the field) may be a sensible choice.
As this young person may well be feeling torn between parents (the fact that they didn't turn up of their own accord for the open day shows that) and worried about choices, I think they should be encouraged to talk to school / college, with both parents stepping back.
Ideally I'd suggest a gap year so that the young person can have a breathing space to make such an important decision, but can see that might also cause problems.
Many years ago, I made a career choice that did not please one of my parents, and I have never regretted it. The other parent just said that I had to make my own decision about my future.