Disability - the bits people don't see

GlasweJen

I'm a wheelchair using heart transplant survivor in full time employment on high mobility, middle care DLA.

This award surprises people but in my area due to a shortage of council staff you need to be on high mobility to get a blue badge and I do need assistance with normal tasks due to multiple disabilities.

Today I'm off work, my work are annoyed because I was off last Thursday too. I've caught a cough that's turned into a chest infection that's spreading through the rest of me like wild fire. Yesterday I was wheezing on inhaling for the afternoon, muffled hearing and bringing up loads of gunk from my chest and sinuses. According to my boss I wasn't sick enough to go home. The out of hour doctor disagreed and told me to take a few days off to rest and help my body recover (and take shed loads of antibiotics).

So today I'm at home, mums had to pick me off the floor 4 times due to the coughing making me lose conciousness (that's a symptom of my heart problem), it hurts to breathe, it hurts to cough, I have completely lost my appetite and I'm struggling to drink all the fluid they want me to have.

Meanwhile work are annoyed that I'm off "it's just a cold".

I've "had enough time off" (had a breakdown thanks to work related stress - here's an idea for employers, hire enough people to do the job), I'm "milking it because you're leaving soon" (if that's the case id hand in a sick line for 2 weeks and just leave).

I'm just tired of it all. People are jealous of DLA awards, do they want to feel like this?

nannytone_2

hope you feel better soon xx

GlasweJen

Thanks Nanny, I'm just really annoyed at my works reaction to me phoning in sick. They were first to comment when OH got a new car (and we don't even use motability! He has a good job and can afford his own car) but no one acknowledges this side of the coin.

sheeps68

Get well soon. It is such a familiar story to me, that you have told. I think one aspect is you carry on and do things most of the time people simply do not see the daily struggle that a case of a chest infection / pneumonia is not noticed as much beyond the normal level you live with. How often do we get told "you look well" when you feel dreadful and just putting in extra effort to carry on.

bloolagoon

It happens to everyone not just those receiving DLA. I've been informed I wouldn't be off sick if I wasn't receiving public money via my sick pay. I'd just spent the day vomiting profusely, was anaemic, dizzy through drugs and dehydration and 3 hours out of chemo.

Difference was the person didn't know, your boss does and that's what really makes it wrong. I don't blame people not guessing hidden illness/disability but when they know, that's when it's wrong.

Look after yourself and take all the rest you need.

dori2o

I had the same kind of thing a couple of weeks ago. I'd just started back on Fentanyl patches but my specialist had for some reason told me to come off my previous meds which were also an opioid completely, so I'd had days with no pain medication other than codeine and oramorph so my pain levels were through the roof and I felt awful.

I'd managed to keep in work but this one day I'd had no sleep and I'd put the Fentanyl patch on the previous night and was feeling the side effects of it.

My manager came to me and told me I looked awful and told me to go home, so I did, and on the advice of my family I had a couple of days off to try and recover, get some sleep and get used to the new meds

When I went back on the Thursday, which is my last working day of the week as I do 4 days a week, I was made to feel like I'd committed a crime. Told that I had let the team down by not coming in, and that they'd had to re-arrange training for me.... It was they who had told me to go home.

I told them straight that my health and welbeing is more important than their poxy job.

GlasweJen

I've got just over a week left before I leave this job anyway but I'm so annoyed, they know I'm ill. There was a works night out on Saturday and the shop was shut Sunday because the boss didn't want to work hung over yet I'm getting it in the neck because I'm hacking my lungs up and struggling to breathe?

Like I say they were all "oh you were so lucky to get a taxi to work" and "I wish we could afford a car like that" (it's a freaking Range Rover they certainly don't give those out on mobility and my other half has a very important and highly paid job so buys his own car when he wants one). I even got told I'm lucky because I have more than 1 wheelchair - yeah cos playing sports is such a luxury, I'm sure they'd be raging if I called in sick because I broke my regular chair skiing.

mrcol1000

I was off work sick for 9 months. They made no attempt to help me get back to work and vetoed any suggestion of me working from home (as my manager was not allowed to work from home, so did not see why someone below them should be allowed to) or want any kind of involvement in discussions with charities that help people get back to work. When they eventually got rid of me, they flushed three times just to make sure I wasn't stuck in the U bend.

I now work for myself from home. Its far nicer, I have been sat in the garden all this week working. I would not have ever taken the plunge had I not got ill and became disabled.

The problem is that unless you are disabled, it is hard really to empathise. That disabled parking space is handy as it is right next to the supermarket entrance. You are only popping in for a pint of milk. You will be only five minutes. Its pointless driving around the car park looking for a space. You can be in and out by the time you did that. However if you are disabled and not been able to shop because there are no disabled spaces free then you understand why they should be kept for those in need.

OldMotherTucker

Been waiting for my disciplinary for absentism . . . it's company policy and something to do with the Equalities act;) - I think it's coming up for a year now!:rotfl:

I can only advise the OP to ring ACAS or similar for advice. Is it possible that your boss is not aware of how your conditions affect you - he might just see you as a person who manages all the time and be treating you like everyone else and not be sympathetic to the common cold in general - before you know it the whole office is ringing in sick! But you might want to consider a polite email explaining the situation, request a quick off the record chat, talk to a staff rep . .

You will have to speak up if you are unhappy.

HB58

Jen, I do hope that you will soon feel better.You clearly have a chest infection which is not 'just a cold' under any circumstances!

Starrystarrynight1

Hi Jen

I think you and all other working disabled people are blinking marvellous for working; that takes a hell of a lot with disabilities, but some ignorant people just don't even consider that. They'd unlikely be jealous if they had to suffer the way we do.

I do find a little bit of jealousy at times, but I just think that it's their problem. I'm lucky that my team at work are great, and will do anything for me, but I know other teams aren't quite as understanding.

I'm just about to start stage 2 of the capability/disciplinary procedure at work! I intend to fight them all the way, with the help of my union. I will not let them measure me, in my painkiller addled state, measure my performance against my able bodied colleagues. They seem to think their responsibilities end with the provision of a fancy chair, and they try to make me feel guilty every time I have one of those useless back to work interviews. We could just have a pre-filled form for me.

Don't let them get you down. I hope you recover quickly. I'm sure a chest infection after a heart transplant can't be considered trivial! x