mortgage and divorce

Sbridle82

Please can anyone advise.
I have recently discovered my husband has committed adultery and we are starting divorce proceedings. Luckily it's all amicable even Tho I want to kill him
We have no savings. Hardly any pension. No cars.
We literally only have the house.
He is saying I can have the house and the mortgage and he will simply walk away.
We have had the mortgage for 8 yrs. 17 left. I can handle it on my own but I have failed an affordability check as I do only work 2 days and then I am bunked up now by benefits.
We also have a 8k loan. In my name. We took out last year for a new kitchen. Which he is saying is mine now as I'm having the house. Which is fine I can afford to pay.
My problem is that I have spoke to mortgage. Failed affordability. They won't let me take him off mortgage or even off deeds. He cannot afford to stay on mortgage as well as pay his new rent. I don't want to sell. We have 3 kids so he cannot make me either. I also cannot buy him out because of my wage or remortgage.
Can anyone shed any light on what we can do before we pay hundreds for a mediator:-)
Thanks

TBeckett100

im assuming he will pay maintenance.

You should seek legal advice. I am sure he should be homing his children and contributing to their upkeep. That may be an expensive dropping of the trousers for him.

BJV

I can not offer any practical advice expect to get you need to get legal advice to make sure that the children are provided for. & really hope that this works out.

Dird

TBeckett100 wrote: »

im assuming he will pay maintenance.

Assuming the kids will stay with the mom, their lack of savings makes me think he's probably not on that high a salary either.

And personally if someone was demanding monthly payments off me I'd be demanding 50% of the house £££ too so a sale would be the only outcome with the remortgage issues

19lottie82

If you have kids under 18, he wont be able to force a house sale. But the judge won't be able to force him to make payments towards the mortgage either.

Sadly this problem is all too common when relationships break up, and there are kids involved.

If you can afford to pay the mortgage (not take it on in your own name, his name will have to remain on it) based on your wages, any available benefits, and child maintenance, then just stay as is.

He can get legal advice if he wants to sell, but as already advised, a judge won't force a sale until your youngest is 18.

Thrugelmir

Seek proper advice. Starting point is welfare of the children. So how guardianship is decided will have an impact on the outcome. If your ex can only afford to rent a bedsit after paying maintenance . Then tough.

Normally the status quo is maintained until the youngest child has left full time education. At which point the property is sold/remortgaged depending on the agreement at the outset. No agreement can result in a very expensive and protracted series of events for both parties. Where no one wins, everybody is a loser.

TBeckett100

Dird wrote: »

Assuming the kids will stay with the mom, their lack of savings makes me think he's probably not on that high a salary either.

And personally if someone was demanding monthly payments off me I'd be demanding 50% of the house £££ too so a sale would be the only outcome with the remortgage issues

Oh I do hope you don't procreate. Quite happy to see your kids living in a council flat are you?

roje

Can you increase your hours? If you could work full time for a while you'd pass affordability and you could remortgage in your own name.

hcb42

See post 1 - Husband was the one that strayed here, and has put all of them in a less than favourable financial position as a result. Kicking out partner and kids as her name isn't on the mortgage is even worse than straying in the first place.