Proms. What's all that about ?

Lunar_Eclipse

We have one this year, though it's for the end of prep school, so for kids aged 13 and not 16 (but with some v rich/celebrity offspring and many wear ballgowns.) DD has chosen a new outfit for £14.99 from H&M; it isn't a dress through her choice. She'll no doubt shower and wash her hair for the occasion, but I've yet to see her wear make up so doubt she will. She doesn't even really want to go, she thinks it will be really boring just hanging around.

Other daughter has an annual sports dinner and prize giving with visiting speakers and fancy dresses, trips to the hairdressers & nail salon. (These are boring - we don't go any more!) Again she doesn't partake in this manner as many don't, though by her own choosing; I go along with what makes her comfortable. I guess we're lucky that lots of different styles of dresses are worn. She won't wear the same dress again to the same event, but nothing she chooses is expensive. This year she chose to wear a dress she already had to avoid 'wasting money & time shopping!' The good thing is she chooses something she can wear again; on holiday, to parties etc. This isn't deliberate, but good if at all possible (most have a fixed idea of what they want to wear though.)

I know from other friends how expensive Proms can be, but obviously not everyone spends a fortune, either by choice or necessity. Ebay is a big market place for Prom dresses.

bap98189

Wow times have changed. When I left school we had a school disco. It was held in the games hall, cost about £3 to attend, and everyone had to bring some sandwiches or cake.

missbiggles1

If we're goint to import American customs, surely there must be some that are worth having? At the moment, all of them are pretty naff and involve a high level of consumerism, which I suppose says something about American society.

Jagraf

Meanwhile, I've just got an outfit for a wedding. £6 new phase eight shoes from charity shop. Plain shift dress £4 from charity shop. Gorgeous bolero - new but seconds. The most expensive item is my new pair of "wear these tights and you will miraculously look a stone thinner'.

DianneB

45 years ago our leaving do was an Awards Ball, in the school hall with a DJ and food. Girls wore a posh evening dress and had their hair done, no waxing or tanning in those days. Boys wore suits. So very much the equivalent of todays Prom. Nothing is new. Just remembered my grans next door neighbour 'auntie' Ethel brought me a lovely evening clutch bag and I met my husband there!!

Many years down the line my daughter wore converses with her ball gown as no one was getting her into a pair of heels!! Pink sparkly dress and red high tops. Surprised she didn't go in her jodhpurs!!

elliew92

I loved my prom and i think even though it is very american i am glad they have it more here in the UK.

It is a good way to relax as a teenager from exams and a way to say goodbye to everyone.

Some people do tend to over spend, my OH went to prom on a bike with his mates. I suppose you need to find ways where your daughter can feel good without a highly expensive cost.

Ebay should have great alternatives for a lot of things.

missbiggles1

At least in the States you actually had to be successful to go to your prom, unfortunately, this bit didn't travel.

lostinrates

engineer_amy wrote: »

our school had a "formal" before it became Americanised and turned into "prom", but essentially the same thing - an excuse to get dressed up, have your photos taken, have a nice meal, then get so drunk that you remember very little. and this was only 13/14 years ago.

My school had dances to which boys' schools were invited, likewise, we were block invited to some boys' schools 'social events'.....balls, formals, whatever.

These were I suppose alternatives to proms, I had not made that connection before. Thank you for broadening my perspective . We certainly got dressed up, but we were encouraged to see it as part of normal social life. Ott ness in spend then would have been considered kinda silly as we were encouraged to be having a round social life in adult hood and be able to go out often. Things were sort of meant to be sustainable.

However fashions are very different now I guess. I wonder what happens at my school now? Food for thought for me.

Fluff15

I liked my sixth form leavers do - there was no flash cars, just a meal and lots of drinking in a marquee in a nice venue. My maths teachers and I shared several bottles of wine, I fell asleep in a toilet. Great evening.

Year 11 prom was awful - bad buffet, weird location, full of all the people I hated in school. The way some of the people were trying to make it an Americanised affair were unbearable. Waste of money - I might've enjoyed it if I liked the majority of the people.

lostinrates

missbiggles1 wrote: »

If we're goint to import American customs, surely there must be some that are worth having? At the moment, all of them are pretty naff and involve a high level of consumerism, which I suppose says something about American society.

No, I don't think it says anything about America or Americans that we are taking the Worst aspects of customs and making them more vacuous. How can it reflect on them when its us doing it?

Celebrating achievement, learning yo present yourself as an adult, individually etc......nothing wrong with that. The consumerist aspect I agree with, vehemently, but that's the people doing it, where ever they are.