worrying

worried123

I have just filled in my form for monday.....how long are they!!! - two copies as requested in the information (although I have read on here that most of you had three).

Now I am worrying about everything......I read on here that the OR goes through a year of bank statements and credit card statements....I do not have them and now that these people are not my friends! I doubt that I could get them from them....and it would take an age for them all to arrive.
Does the OR get hold of them themselves at all....(which would be preferable to be honest).

Also does the OR ever ask you about previous addresses.....I have rented for about 4 years but previous to this I lived with my boyfriend for two years..it was his house and we shared the bills etc but when we split up I did not have any hold on the house - nor wanted to.....I would hate for him to find out about my forthcoming bankruptcy and this is why I am worrying they may ask where you lived before your current address.......or am I just being paranoid.

I do not have any terms and conditions to submit regarding my tenancy - all I have is a letter from my landlady confirming that she was happy that I was extending the lease and giving her bank details of where to pay my standing order into each month....I have also enclosed a few recent bank statements proving this money does go in monthly and that I have not or ever have had any arrears....I have also requested that they consider my dignity and not contact my landlady.....

There does not seem to be much that they do not want to know....I am getting serious collywobbles now and my phone has rung about 6 times today from credit card companies.....I do not answer it but they never leave a message on the answerphone - I do 1471......

The very few people (close family)that I have told about this say there is no shame in bankruptcy - (it isn`t them) that it is not `teminal`and there is life after debt...and although I feel it is okay and nothing to frown on for others - I cannot help feeling full of shame - although just like others here I have not got into this situation - by going out and being silly with a credit card - it happens - things are tight etc - you borrow and it spirals out of control until there is no more credit to pay your creditors......but, its not nice chaps is it.

Does the official receiver ask you where you used to live before your current address....I would rather die than him find out.....

Thank you!!!! I have had lots of advice and help with the car from here - trying to save it - need it for work - fingers crossed..

Take care all....best wishes

wherediditallgo

Firstly, try not to panic. The OR can get virtually any information they want one way or another if they really need it. They won't expect you to have all of your bank/credit card statements, so they'll contact the providers for any statements they need - you don't need to request them.

The OR's questions will relate to the questions asked on the form, & the form doesn't even ask how long you've lived at your current address never mind anything about your previous one. It asks about your current address, any other property you own or rent, & any other property you've disposed of in the last five years. Even if they needed to get information about your previous address, your financial business isn't going to be discussed with the person you lived with while you were there as you're no longer together & they're not a creditor. If they haven't asked about your previous address on the form, they're unlikely to ask about it when you have your interview with the OR.

As for your landlady, your dignity won't come into it I'm afraid. It seems that if you don't owe rent arrears, the OR is unlikely to contact them. However, that's not a hard & fast rule, as there are people on this board who didn't owe rent or council tax, & the landlord was still contacted. You can request that your landlady not be contacted, but there's no guarantee it won't happen. You have to provide your landlady's address, & if you haven't got a tenancy agreement show them the statements you have proving the money's paid each month plus her letter. If the OR feels that's not enough, they will contact her to get confirmation of your tenancy. ORs have a lot of guidelines to follow, but a certain amount of what they do seems to be up to how they interpret the situation - hopefully, you'll get one who won't feel the need to contact your landlady.

Your family are quite correct about the "shame" of bankruptcy. None of us set out to accrue debts and not pay them off, but unfortunately we were later confronted by certain circumstances which ultimately meant we couldn't pay our debts. The stigma of bankruptcy is something that puts a lot of people off going BR, forcing themselves to live with the additional stress on themselves & their family for far more years than they or their family can cope with. You feel that you haven't just let your family down, you've let yourself down - you feel a failure. Try not to feel like that - look at the positive side instead. Yes, you haven't been able to manage your finances for whatever reason, but that doesn't make you a failure - you're a success because you're realised there's a problem that you can't sort out on your own & you're doing something to resolve the situation instead of pretending it isn't happening. I see going BR as a "once-only, never again" step in my life - I won't be having credit again, & I've learned from my financial mistakes, so debt won't be happening again. I see myself as a success because I've been in serious debt but I've come through on the other side, & there's no reason for you not to do the same. So try not to worry - the OR will ask you anything they need to know, & they'll tell you if they need more information.

worried123

Thank you so much

that was a really helpful post that has put my mind at rest.

best wishes to you and thank you again.

rog2

Hi Worried - I would just like to echo the advice given by WDIAG and to wish you all the best for tomorrow.
Let us know how you get on.

scaredwitless32

That was a good post worried123, I have not kept all bank statements etc either! And thanks to wdiag, I now have my answer

betterlatethannever

I feel EXACTLY the same as the OP.
I've been pretty cool n calm about the whole thing, until last night. Panic has really set in. I feel ashamed, useless, worthless and horrid about myself at the moment. Although that wonderful post by WDIAG has helped a lot!
I have all the same problems as the OP, no bank statements, worry about them contacting my LL etc.
I feel just a little better knowing i'm not the only one and, i guess, these feelings are normal in the run up to the 'day'
Good luck for tomorrow, worried, and please post and let us know how it all goes.
XX

betterlatethannever

Worried..hope things went ok today?

Richard_S

betterlatethannever wrote: »

I feel EXACTLY the same as the OP.
I've been pretty cool n calm about the whole thing, until last night. Panic has really set in. I feel ashamed, useless, worthless and horrid about myself at the moment. Although that wonderful post by WDIAG has helped a lot!
I have all the same problems as the OP, no bank statements, worry about them contacting my LL etc.
I feel just a little better knowing i'm not the only one and, i guess, these feelings are normal in the run up to the 'day'
Good luck for tomorrow, worried, and please post and let us know how it all goes.
XX

bltn,

I can understand all those emotions but you really are being too hard on yourself. You've made a few mistakes and as a result some obscenely wealthy banks and credit card companies are going to lose some money that represents a miniscule percentage of their annual profits.

Given that we're all, or have been, in the same situation then that means I should feel like that too. The truth is, I really don't give a damn; sometimes you get it right; sometimes you don't.

You have as much right to breathe the air of this planet as somebody who's the paragon of financial virtue. We all have different life experiences and we're all human beings; we start life the same way and we end it the same way.

Be kind to yourself, revel in the things you've done right, learn from your mistakes and then consign them to that meaningless concept called yesterday.

Richard

betterlatethannever

Rich, that reduced me to tears-in a nice way. Thankyou.
Sorry i'm a bit of a mess at the moment, and its not all BR, although i think when that weight has lifted from my shoulders tomorrow i'll, hopefully, feel a little better.
X

owetoomuch

Totally agree with Richard above, I also felt the same as betterlatethannever and the kind people on here helped me ease it a bit.

I have learnt a valuable lesson from this, I cannot handle credit, if it is there I will use it, because if the banks have increased my limits without my asking I must be able to afford it (?????) fortunately now I will not be able to do this anymore as I cant have credit and I don't think even when I can I will look for it.

worried123

Hi all and many thanks for good wishes and support.....

Betterlatethannever.....Good luck for tomorrow.....Today was absolutely fine and there is absolutely nothing for you to worry about......There were 11 of us this morning and I have to say that at the end of the day we were just faceless bits of paper - just paperwork really.....The judge did a job lot and we all went in to see him together and he did not even have a face to the pile of files that he was signing.....What made me feel better Betterlatethannever was the fact that the other 10 people were all good, decent people like you and me - we had two hours to kill from seeing the judge (over in no time) and from going back to collect our stamped piece of paper saying that we were now bankrupt and we went to the pub for a sandwich with a lovely lady and her boyfried....Betterlatethannever, it genuinely really will be absolutely fine for you....it is just all in a days work for the court staff - you will be in good company if anybody else is filing for BR the same day.....and you really will just be some paperwork to them......I was so worried..even the saying words on the bible bit is just done really informally at the counter.......Apparently if we believe things we hear...there will be approx 100,000 people declare bankruptcy in this country this year...........I honestly do not feel so bad about myself having seen the other people at the court today....from a secretary to an old lady to a young lady with a baby......It happens and we must not beat ourselves up about it.....going through all the worry and stress and struggles that took us to this stage anyway is punishment enough on ourselves...and to look at it in as harsh a way as possible...these huge banks and companies are insured for things like this happening...what we owe is a drop in the ocean to them......we have to be kind to ourselves - everybody makes mistakes - people lose their way - whatever but really - is certainly does not make us any less of a person than anybody else.....
Good luck for tomorrow - you will be absolutely fine......Me, though, I am just worried about the OR stuff - hopefully that will be done and dusted as soon as pos - at least then you really know where you stand and can move on and get on with your life.
Let us know how it goes.....
Best wishes to you