old style family?

debtfreehopeful_2

First off im not sure where this should be and its a bit of a cry for help if im honest

I really would like to know how other os'ers deal with children and the house?

I find no matter how hard i try the house is a tip and when i try really hard the kids get wound up and that almost makes it worse than if id not bothered. Im learning how to deal with 2 kids and really learning how to run a house and cook.

I didnt learn to cook as a child, we did food tech in school = buy ready made pastry and filling and assemble a pie or design a chocolate bar wrapper. dh however is a fab cook and does it all from scratch as a hobby and im learning slowly.

I run the finances pretty well but tend to overspend on things i think will help me in the house, generally they show up to be a waste of money and its only just dawned on me that the reason i do this is im terrified to tackle it and here we hit the main problem.

my kids arent monsters they are good kids, the toddler is really very well behaved but when i start cleaning she seems to instinctively follow behind making a mess or finding every reason imagineable to need my attention. i know its possible to do it as wommen forever have managed to keep house and raise a family, i dont know if im old fashioned or naive but i want to learn how to do it and get a balance between my house and my kids.

im soon to become an raf wife and feeling really pressured to get it sorted before dh goes on his basic training (not for a while yet) the pressure is all my own doing but i have to sort this, i dont want to embarras him when we get posted somewhere.

please anyone can you give me any advice on dealing with my children and house and not getting sucked into laboursaving devices which arent? i usually put on a front of managing and it doesnt bother me if things arent perfect but im not and it does.

sorry to have rambled on but im driving myself mad and any help here would be fab

Sue

frogga

You've come to the right place!

Just read through the threads there will be lots of helpful tips.

My Dad always says "As long as you've got to the end of the day and they're fed and clean you've done a great job"

I always get my two to help with the cleaning and make it a game.

They love to squirt the polish and help hoovering ~ yes it takes longer , but it sows the seeds of trying to teech them to clean up after themselves.

Try not to stress. I get mine to help with the cooking too. Nothing to adventurous, you can get some great beginners cooking books from your library.

Sounds like you have a lovely family , so just relax and enjoy these salad days ~ they wont last long!

Keep your chin up xx:j

kazmeister

Hi Sue,

Firstly remember you are not superwoman and those that look like they are are probably having the same thoughts as you do. When someone is coming round i have to fly round for ages trying to make the place look respectable, and the last time friends came to stay I actually stayed up all the night before they arrived trying to get everywhere clean! Needless to say I was almost asleep when we went out for dinner

I am currently signed off work so have been following the flylady thread which starts on Sun evening when a cleaning list is posted for the next day, you can choose different levels depending on your commitments. Then there are extra jobs you can choose IF you wish to. It is not a list you must complete especially when you have small children (it can become impossible). I also about a week ago realised that as the house is looking so much better I dont have to play catch up all week. If I miss Mondays jobs as I'm out then they wait until next week. At first the jobs take a little longer but after a few weeks you'll realise that most only take 5 mins. Tuesdays list is added to the first post of the thread on Monday evening etc.

With small children, why not get them involved, even if they are only swishing a duster about they will think they are helping especially if you keep a reward chart for their helping or putting their toys away in the toy box.

Meal planning is also a brilliant idea, look in your cupboards and freezer and make a list of what you have and plan on using stuff up rather than needlessly shopping and then not knowing what to do. If you stick to your shopping list it really cuts the costs down. As for what to cook I love easy cook magazine which comes out about 6 times a year, new one just out on 2 Aug (WHSmith, Sainsbury etc) it has really easy recipes for people beginning to cook. Or try a childrens cook book (look in the library or book shop then order from someone like the book people online as usually cheaper) I bought a student cook book and also 2 by a lad called Sam Stern (15 year old) for my son to start learning to cook.

Good luck to your OH with the new job when it starts, and to you, your new job title is Home Economics Executive.

:beer: Kaz

debtfreehopeful_2

thank you, i feel so stupid now im nearly crying just at the fact someone replied.

what you have said makes sense but i feel like im being bad to them if i get sophie to help and leave ellen to it, i feel like at this age it should all be fun stuff but ive only just realised i felt that way and i know for a fact thats not right as not learning as a child is where my problems come from.

i will have a look for that magazine, im useless at meal planning, i dont know why i just get very stressed and annoyed with myself then give up and im not sure how to change that but ill try again

thank you

Pink.

Hi debtfreehopeful,

Welcome to Old Style,

Your house sounds like mine....lovely kids but they seem to create chaos anyway. Remember it's the summer holidays now so we (mum's) are getting it full on.

If you want advice and support with the children then you may get more help on the Families board, if you want advice on cleaning/organising your home you'll be better off here.

Let me know if you want me to move your thread.

In the meantime I'm sending you lots of hugs.

Pink

kazmeister

Hi I forgot to add

the meal plan I use is weekly based altho some do a longer period, but start with baby steps.

7 days =
Roast day - then usually enought to make a meal another day so is cheaper than you think
Pasta day - spag bol, carbonara, pasta bake, etc
Rice day - Chilli, sweet n sour, curry, risotto, kedgeree etc
Meat day - Chops, shepherds pie, steak etc
Fish day - Grilled, baked, Fish pie, fish casserole, kedgeree etc
Snack day - Pizza, burgers, something on toast
Other day - can be a duplication, takeaway or eat out.

And the kids will love helping mummy

hazzie123

Best advice I can give you is get a handfull of binbags and go into EVERY room and throw out as much as you can.
Such as,

Things you haven`t seen or used in the last six months. Your unlikely to use them and it`s just pure clutter.

Sort out the wardrobes and drawers,no point in keeping clothes what you dont wear/fit you or the kids.

When the little`uns are out the way sort through their toys.I got 1 whole binbag full of daft little toys my DD never plays with and a mountin of cuddley toys.

You should notice a difference straight away after you get a couple of full black bags,it will lighten the clutter and it will make you feel better.Try to be ruthless though.


I play a tidying up game with my DD,I count and she has to try and get all her toys what are all over the front room back in her toy box before I get to the 20.

debtfreehopeful_2

i think its more the house thats the issue, Sophie is more of a side issue, i have someone coming to get all the old kids clothes we dont use anymore next week and i think that will be a good start.

im taking monday as a clean slate as i have a broken arm and thats when the cast comes off. i just need to stop feeling guilty and find a way of doing it. i get annoyed with myself about it but then seem to do less so im going to aim to be positive about anything i get done


i think this thread and reading and replying to your responses is helping me realise where ive been going wrong.

thanks again

frogga

If you've had a broken arm it's no wonder things have got on top of you.:j

You're with friends now.:j

twink

big hugs to you debtfree, sounds like you have done well considering you have a broken arm, dont be too hard on yourself x

debtfreehopeful_2

thanks frogga and twink, im not very good at allowing myself to not be up to scratch. its nice to know its a good enough reason to be behind.

kaz that sample meal plan is wonderful, thank you, thats the bit thats always stumped me.

youve all ben really helpful thank you so much, im feeling much more positive from this honestly, any more advice greatefully recieved