What to do with big families if on a budget?

GoldenShadow

I feel like I would have to invite all or none of my Mum's family. She is one of six. She says don't invite any :rotfl:

OH has a very small family. I don't think my Mum's is big compared to some, but there are about 19 of them. None of them puts us at about 36 guests, and all is over 50. I quite fancied an 11-6pm wedding ie. no big evening party, just ceremony/meal etc. My Dad was an alcoholic and I don't really like being around people when they've had loads to drink. My Mum's family are really terrible for drinking which doesn't help.

My cousin is also engaged, and I know she will invite absolutely everyone. I think I'm worried of causing a giant rift in that my non inviting would be more pronounced by my cousin doing the opposite. They're all very social and love parties, cousin had engagement party etc too but we don't really like much fuss. OH and I want to buy a house this autumn. If we don't get married this year, we basically can't next year and I am not sure my Grandma will be around too much longer. She's the only grandparent I or my OH have.

If money was no object I would invite them all, but its not and they are the ones more likely to cause upset on the day. Cost wise, it seems to cost a lot more doing day guests then extra evening guests because what we are looking at doesn't include an evening thing and seems to be the best value for money.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, and what did you do..?

Floss

When you say "your mums family", do you mean aunts & uncles or cousins as well? And is the grandparent on your mums or dads side?

Remember it is your & your OHs day - what your cousin does or doesn't do is her choice, and you should do what you two think is right for you, not what you think other people are expecting.

cashewnut

Could you just invite aunts and uncles but not cousins? If I had to cull then cousins would be first to go!

cashewnut

Or, yeah, go with your mum's idea. Keep the wedding small and intimate with just VERY close friends and family

Sally22_2

My partner and I have big families too and for mine we are inviting just aunts/uncles and very close family friends and our close friends which brings it to 70 including us. (We only have one set of grandparents on my partners side, the others have all passed away)

If we invite cousins and their families it adds another 50 people! We can't invite some cousins and not others to main ceremony so they are all being invited to evening.

We are the last to get married out of my side of relatives. They have all had different ceremonies. There has been church weddings and different venues and one of my cousins got married with no one knowing.

Do whats best for you and your circumstances xx

arbrighton

Reg office and meal with you, parents and grandparents only?

I don't have a big immediate family (one aunt, no cousins, sister single) but he does (2 aunts, 5 cousins, married brother) but some of non-immediate family and family friends are invited to our wedding (by parents really) as they are celebrating their ruby wedding at the same time.

We are the only non-church wedding of the family so far (2 cousins and my sister as yet single) but wouldn't have been right for us to do it in church

Whoop

We are getting married in Sept and had the same dilemma. Family alone was over 80 people. So we are having a very small wedding consisting of parents, siblings and partners and 4 friends each and partners. Will be a total of 22 guests.

Do whatever you want to do and don't worry about anyone else!