Living the (eventual) dream

athers38

Hi there

I have been in a pretty constant spiral of debt for about 20 years now. It all started merrily, when I had my first credit card and I had no responsibilities! I now have a husband and 2 gorgeous children, but have re-offended over and over to the point where my husband and parents have had to help me out massively on several occasions. I do feel it is an addiction for me and have sought therapy etc...to try and help, but this just delayed me doing it again! I really want to get it sorted before I am too old to enjoy anything and my kids are asking me why they can't go to University! The guilt of that thought is not enough to stop me in my tracks for some reason.....

We are currently managing month to month, trying to find ways to reduce the debt, but to be honest the biggest challenge is for me to stop spending! Any advice folks? Luckily for me, my husband is very savvy when it comes to finances. I just kept it all from him on many, many occasions. I am amazed to this day that he has stuck by me!

Thanks :hello:

rockm87

Hi and welcome!

firstly if you have a husband who is good at finances why can't he help you? or take over on alot of the money management?

maybe you need a different outlook on money, the money mustache blog helped me change how i saw money and what is really important. maybe give it a read? I did from start to finish, I was a little addicted!

you need a budget that really works, is realistic and stick to it. when your money runs out, it's gone. put money into savings first, maybe an ISA controlled by your husband? then you are having savings without thinking about it after you've spend everything.

andyfromotley

If you are unable to control your spending then it needs to be controlled for you. That means no credit or debit cards, no cheque book, just a daily/weekly/monthly sum of cash as handed over by hubby.

He could ask you to get a statutory report from the CRA every three months to check that you havent been secretly obtaining credit.

Meanwhile you can work on your need to overspend. As advised Mr Money Mustache is a good place to start thinking about why we spend so much.

I know its not ideal but if you carry on as you are you will have difficulty getting ahead of the game financially.

athers38

Hi there

Thanks for the replies. Easier said than done to try and keep an eye on someone who is determined to spend! We are going to try limiting my access. but I also want to a. recover from this need to want to spend and b. reduce the debt in a shorter time as possible, taking in to account compound interest, mulitple creditors and trying to avoid any type of debt management if possible

I shall read as suggested - thanks very much!:)

Tixy

Hi

What is it that you are overspending on? And when/how do you tend to do your spending?
If its only once you are in shops that you tend to splurge then starting points can be avoiding the shops or not carrying cards with you.

Are you respending on credit cards whilst also repaying them? or are you spending from a bank account that then means there is less to put towards your debts?

Have you tried preparing a snowball calculator to see how long it will take to repay your debts and how much interest you will pay at the current rate of repayment? and then how much you can reduce that by if you increase your repayments by say £100 or £200 a month etc http://www.whatsthecost.com/snowball.aspx These can help to demotivate a lot.

Are you trying to go 'cold turkey' from unnecessary spending? if so sometimes setting a small budget for unplanned spends that you then stick to can be easier.

athers38

Hi there

I have tried going cold turkey many times.....it hasn't worked thus far so we are thinking of quite extreme measures in terms of ensuring I cannot use current, or access new credit. Until Feb/March next year, we are having to use some credit month to month to cope at the moment. Are worries will be far from over next year, but we will have some greater flexibility. I am just very concerned about this being a long process and me fnding a way not to want to spend during this time. I need actual milestones I think, so maybe that link you mentioned might help? I have a lot of reading to do it seems! No problem at all - I need things to change is a big way.

Thanks

athers38

My over spending is mostly linked to shopping online. We are trying to find a way whereby I can't gain access to certain sites that I use.

rockm87

I use pinterest, I have a secret board for 'things to buy', when i see something I like I pin it to the board (saving the link).

I then forget about it, and when I have some money on my budget for spending on myself I have a look through the list and get it.

sometimes because I have left it, I end up deleting alot of the pins as I no longer want those things. The delay means I get more focussed on what i really want, rather than impulse buys.