Impossible Decision

treeleaves

Good evening,

I've signed up and decided to post this message as, at least to my mind, I am facing an impossible decision. Any views would be warmly welcomed.

I am in my late 20s, have a mortgage and am expecting a baby with my partner in a few months time. On the whole I am happy and feel very fortunate to be in the position I am in. The only aspect of my life that I am not content with is my job. Again, I feel very fortunate to have a fairly decent paying job that is stable (9 -5, permanent) and within a good company. With that said it is mundane and doesn't make use of my strengths. I guess a lot of people feel this way?

I have now been given the opportunity to return to my previous occupation. It would see me commute an hour each way by car, as opposed to the 20 minutes I cycle each way currently. It would also see me return to doing 24 hour shift work, at least for the first couple of years or so.

I originally left this line of work after a few years as I concluded that my personality wasn't quite right for the job. and I found it very different at times. I also wanted to move closer to my girlfriend and family.

Taking the opportunity would see me return to a well respected career. It would offer more variety than what my current position can, as well as good pay and benefits. It would also be my last chance to take up the opportunity.

Part of me thinks that I would be happier if I go for it , find my niche and it works out. The other half of me sees it as another big life change and a big upheaval, especially with a baby due shortly. At the moment I'm in my comfort zone (albeit bored) without any stress, but that is likely to all change if I take this opportunity.

I guess I'm afraid of unsettling all that is good in my life for the chance to take a final stab at my old career. I'm over 2 years in my current job, which is easily transferable to other companies.

I'm very nervous about making the move. Fear is definitely the overriding emotion. I don't want to jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. I don't want a struggle. Yet at the same time, I don't want to regret not pursuing the opportunity for the rest of my life.

I know it sounds like a first world problem, but I'm stuck in decision paralysis and can't think about anything else!!

elsien

What does your partner think?
And if you left the job before because your personality wasn't right for the job, then what has changed since then to make it a better fit?

Sea.Shore

Have you discussed this with your partner?

I suppose you'll need to take paternity leave into account too, not sure you'll be likely to get it moving to a new job, is it possible to have a career change after baby is here so you can spend some time as a family in the early days and lend your partner a hand at home? I only say because birth is so unpredictable, and although she could very well be mobile and up and about quickly, you don't know if she might need a c-section, for example, and your help during the initial recovery period.

I'm by no means trying to put you off if a career change is what you want, just trying to ensure you factor everything in.

TBagpuss

I agree that you need to discuss this with your partner, and to consider the risk of moving (and losing job security for a while) just as you start a family.

Why is this your last chance to change?

Do you have 2 cars, or would you driving to work mean that your partner is left with no vehicle whenever you're working?

What has changed which would mean that you are better suited to the job now than you were before?

Adding an extra 80 minutes commute every day is a big change - and presumably that will mean a lot less time with your partner and new baby.

Does your partner work? Is the plan that she will return to work once the baby is older? Shift work adds a lot of complications to that, and to arranging for child care.

If you don't change now, would it not be possible for you to consider a career change later, which would fit better with the other changes in your life?

But the key thing has to be to discuss this with your partner, think about all the negatives as well as positives of making the change, and then decide together.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

buglawton

Why would it be the last chance to take up that kind of opportunity?

missindecisive

I'd stay in your current job. You won't be bored in a bit when the new baby arrives! Plus shift work will be a nightmare with a baby keeping you awake all night.! You'll be glad to go to your boring job just for a break when the baby is born!